It's started already

[repete]

My dad just past away and we had a very nice service for him on Thur.After running around most of the week makeing the arangments my wife and I spent Fri. unwinding, on Sat I met my 2 sisters at the house and it didn't take long for the "I want this/you got that" to start and ended with a shouting match.
One sister lived with dad (she lost her house) and was supposed to take care of him, the other lives 25 mi away and has not seen him since before christmas (Oct. i believe) Now we have to get this figered out. I'm PO cause my sister TOOK the cash and bonds from the safe AND most of all my mom's wedding rings!! That
is what set me off, when I asked he why "safe keeping"!!! MY AZZ She live's in a apt in the city in a so so area!

My question is, has anyone delt with something like this? How did you handle it? I don't want to get lawyers involved unless I have to

[Rev.Vassago]

I don't want to get lawyers involved unless I have to

It sounds like you may have to.

Perhaps you can get everyone to agree to a mediator. It's like a judge, only the decision isn't a legal decision. But if everyone agrees (in writing) to abide by the mediation, that can be used in court at a later time if necessary.

Sorry about your loss.

[Ridge Runner]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss repete.

Rev. gave you some good advice. if you get a lawyer involved there may not be much left to fight over.

An old "Jewish" tail goes something like this: Two men argued over the ownership of a cow; While one pulled at the head and the other pulled at the tail, the lawyers were in the middle milking it.

[repete]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss repete.

Rev. gave you some good advice. if you get a lawyer involved there may not be much left to fight over.

An old "Jewish" tail goes something like this: Two men argued over the ownership of a cow; While one pulled at the head and the other pulled at the tail, the lawyers were in the middle milking it.

That's interesting tale, if you think about it it's got alot of truth to it. As far as medeation GOOD idea, thanks Rev and thanks for the condolence. I look at this way no more pain and no more Parkinsons for him and he's now with his wife of 56 yrs. But I still miss them both

[golfhobo]

Sorry to hear about your loss, Repete. And even worse... the rivalry.

Wasn't there a will?

[repete]

at one time there was a will but he decided to make a few changes as far as executor goes. I can only assume that he did away with old one and forgot to rewrite it. He was easily confused lately, I took him out to dinner a couple of weeks ago and after eating we got up to leave and he thought we just got there! It was very hard and painful for all of us seeing a strong/smart man just barely able to walk even with a walker and then forget that he just eat a meal. One time he didn't even recognize me and when he saw my son thought that was me. I know that lifes not "fair" but sometime's it really sucks

[matcat]

When my grandmother died all of her kids fought over everything. My one aunt ended up winning out by getting into the house and taking everything and anything she wanted and took off for home. Really pissed me off that 2 of her 4 kids where there just to snag up what little possessions she had.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

[JewelsnTools]

Repete,
Sorry to hear it, Man. Pettiness is so ugly. I'm glad your main perspective is straight-- his present peace and his reunion with Momma.
Good luck with resolving the mess left here on earth.
Jewels

[dle]

When my father in law died several years ago, the vultures descended the afternoon of the funeral.

His sisters very quickly grabbed all kinds of things, deeds, pictures etc etc.

I called my uncle (an attorney) described what happened. What he said was, that nothing of "Value" can be taken or distributed until after the will is probated. When I asked about what is of value, he said ANYTHING that can be converted to cash - any amount. So the vulchers were informed to return all the items or face theft charges.

[Sabine]

You might as well involve the law. Repeat after me...........IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME NOW. She threw the first punch. If the other heirs are in agreement involve the law in whatever manner you may have to. Good luck to you. My late husbands family got completely split up when his mom died, neither one of his sisters even came to his funeral. And he sure as heck didn't do the taking. The only thing he had of his moms was a photo album.

[Windwalker]

Repete, the one thing you do need is a "COMPLETE INVENTORY". That means that anything that has been removed MUST BE RETURNED. Then, appraisal for each item for monetary worth. Cash and bonds included.

When my father passed away, I thought they were even going to list individual tooth-picks they found. Even some of my own tools went on the inventory because I could not prove that they were mine, not my father's.

When it starts out like that, it doesn't seem to have a good ending either. Sorry to say. Best of luck on that, and sorry to hear about your loss.

[repete]

WOW, I haven't checked in on this in quite awhile and was surprised!!
Thank you all for the kind words thoughts and prayers, it was very hard for awhile there and alot of people helped me thru and many don't even know they helped.

We had an estate auction Sun. 9/13 and sold most everything, I admit I shed a few tears when some of mom's things came up and then again when dads tools went on the block. I bought ALOT and did what I could to buy the house but just couldn't swing it .. I was out bid by$500 lousy bucks! At the time I wanted to go another $1000 but had alredy passed my limit by 1000. After the auction while signing papers the new owners ( after closing next mo.) said they passed there limit by 2 grand! AARRGGG So I'm kind heartsick about that. I did find out alot about what my sisters feel is importent and whats not! I won't go into detail about that. I now have boxes and boxes of pictures, movies and old family stuff/hairlooms? I don't know where to put them all, but that's ok I'll find a place and I have lots of things to remind me of some real good times

thanks for reading this and bearing with me

[knightscastle55]

oh yes.....im the only child and when dad passed away,,,,his brother got into the safe and kept the war metals (purple heart and silver star). since he was a cook in the navy, it wasnt anything he could get....anyway, i have three sons that i couldve handed down to, since my uncle has since passed away, i dont think i will ever get a reply to my numerous requests to the family.....good luck

[repete]

oh yes.....im the only child and when dad passed away,,,,his brother got into the safe and kept the war metals (purple heart and silver star). since he was a cook in the navy, it wasnt anything he could get....anyway, i have three sons that i couldve handed down to, since my uncle has since passed away, i dont think i will ever get a reply to my numerous requests to the family.....good luck

That kind of stuff takes on a whole new value when a loved one passes, and you lern sooo much about the ones left! I had an uncle that won a Silver Star in WWII in the Pacific I never knew about it till after he passed.