Wife of a Future Trucker *eeekk*

[Heaven]

Hello..

My husband is about to embark on a career as a truck driver for Swift.. for at least 8 months to a year and I'm scared, worried, nervous.. you name it.

He is leaving a perfectly good paying, stable, job that brings him home every single night for this "dream job". In the past I have discouraged him from switching jobs to try out his latest interest because our son was younger and I felt we needed to provide a stable home for him but we've been going through some tough times financially and when he brought up finally going to school to drive a truck, I gave in and supported his decision.. thinking maybe it was going to financially help us in the long run and I also felt really bad for always squashing his dreams and I don't want to be the reason he has regrets.

Let me back up a minute.. my son's Godfather drives a truck from California to Washington for his job. He has set days .. a set route each week and he is home 2 days a week with his family. He makes VERY good money and has been doing it for a number of years. My husband has been talking to him and that is where this all started.

So he finds out about Swift, no clue why he went with them, and unbeknownst to me - he is talked into signing their contract and attending their school. By the time I found out, it was too late for me to do anything. He attends their school and gets his license. He has given his work notice and this is his last week - he will be attending orientation next week and hitting the road shortly after that.

I wish I had found this site or at least done some research in the beginning - now we are stuck.

I don't mean to sound like a witch of a wife. I support my husband in everything and I love him dearly. We have been together for 20 years now and married most of those 20. I want to be positive but it's hard when all I hear or read is negative things about driving.

To my husband's credit.. he is a very hard worker and really puts his heart into everything he does. He has never been fired from a job and everyone always loves working with him or around him. He has an awesome attitude and outlook about everything. He took the driving school very serious and the instructor was impressed with how quickly and correctly he picked up on everything. I have no doubt that he will do well driving a truck .. but my concern is whether this is going to help us out financially in the end or not.

I'm also getting a little more emotional as "D" Day approaches and I know he'll be away for weeks on end. I'm going to miss him badly.

I'm a little mad too. He picked a horrible time to decide to pursue this dream. This is our son's senior year of school and it's smack dab in the middle of his football season. He will end up missing 95% of the games this year and I'm worried he's going to miss his graduation. We just lost our home and have moved into a rental.. and I just wish he had waited.

So I found this site because I wanted to get information about the career (apparently it's a wonder we have drivers on the road at all based on how horrible so many of you paint that life).. wanted to read the facts, find ways to make it work now that we are in it for at least the next year and also find some support from those who are living it at the moment.

This is going to be so hard...

[BlooMoose]

I can understand your feelings. And I can understand his. I have been on both sides of the track. A good paying, stable job can drain the life out of you. So can never seeing any of your dreams coming to fruition. As women, a lot of the time we base our happiness on the happiness of others (like our kids). But women and men are wired differently. If I could stay home to be with my kids (this has always been my dream), I would do it in a heartbeat and I would quit the stable, good paying job. There may be a lot of reasons why your husband chose this time. Maybe he is feeling emotional about your son being so close to coming into his own. I can't really give you any answers at all and I know you are looking for some. Just know that money can't buy happiness. A stable, good paying job can kill a person's spirit. Take it from someone who has struggled to take care of my kids alone and working full-time. There are a lot worse things that knowing you have a loving husband that isn't home constantly. He has been solid for 20 years - that is something for which you can be grateful. So he doesn't have the best "timing"...so you aren't thrilled with his decision to go to Swift...take this opportunity to make some changes in yourself. You might like the bit of independence. You'll get some one-on-one time to bond with your son, both you and your husband will make every second count once he gets home so you might learn to love him like you used to...because you'll miss those little things he does every day that have become expected or standard. Read a book, take a class, renew your spiritual relationships and your friendships. I think you feel like he is somehow moving on without you. People need to grow and here is your chance. Growing is not always growing apart. You are worried about all of the things he might "miss" that are important so it's obvious that you love him. But you have to give him some credit, some room, the opportunity to take a "risk" for his family. It may not work out very well at all, but you will never say "I told you so". It may be the best thing that ever happened. Yeah - it might be tough for a bit. Money isn't everything. Every change, be it good or bad, has a little trauma associated with it. From my stand point, I would be thanking my lucky stars that I had a wonderful husband. We all aren't as lucky as you are. I wish you the best.

[Rev.Vassago]

He is leaving a perfectly good paying, stable, job that brings him home every single night for this "dream job".

That's problem #1 right there. He's leaving a stable job for a job that is horribly unstable, given todays economy.

but we've been going through some tough times financially and when he brought up finally going to school to drive a truck, I gave in and supported his decision.. thinking maybe it was going to financially help us in the long run and I also felt really bad for always squashing his dreams and I don't want to be the reason he has regrets.

There is no guarantee that it will be the "saving grace" that he is looking for. OTR drivers have been averaging less and less miles as of recent, and it is due to the economy slowing. It's likely only going to get worse.

Let me back up a minute.. my son's Godfather drives a truck from California to Washington for his job. He has set days .. a set route each week and he is home 2 days a week with his family. He makes VERY good money and has been doing it for a number of years. My husband has been talking to him and that is where this all started.

Unless he is going to get that same dedicated run, then the experiences are like comparing apples and oranges. OTR (which is what he'll be doing at Swift) is not dedicated. Some weeks he may have a good paycheck. Some weeks his paycheck may be crap.

I have no doubt that he will do well driving a truck .. but my concern is whether this is going to help us out financially in the end or not.

I got into driving as a financial "last resort". That was 12 years ago. I hardly get to see my children, and I've already given a marriage to this job. I'm not saying that will happen to you, by any means. But the job creates a tough life. For what is expected of the employee, the money isn't all that great. He's trading a lot for that money, and if he's going in for the wrong reasons, he'll end up resenting the job.

I wish I could sugar coat it for you, but it isn't in my nature. The road he has chosen is a difficult one, and can very easily put a huge wedge between the two of you. I sense that you are kind of angry with him, and I think you are justified in being so. He made a decision that will drastically change both of your lives.

I wish you the best of luck.

[shyykatt]

Adjusting to being a 'truckers wife' takes time, but you will adjust. My husband left a decent job 3 years ago to go with Swift as well. Everyone has a different experience with every trucking company, but for us, Swift ended up not being a good experience, mostly finacially. It was a great way for him to get into the industry, because we couldnt afford the schooling up front; but he was gone 30-45 days at a time, they never got him home when he needed to be, and his paychecks became smaller and smaller-and some weeks he never got paid at all! As soon as he paid back his schooling he found another company- a much smaller company- and they have been great so far; but with the economy the way it is, he is losing a lot of miles now, so once again the paychecks are getting smaller. Swift was not very good for us, but its different for everyone. The reality is, everyone is feeling the pinch right now- trucking is no exception. I agree w/everything Rev said; We're not trying to 'scare' you, just telling it like it is.

[GTR SILVER]

why don't' you "invite" your husband to come on the

forums.............????????????????? and get some different

opinions............??????????????????????

maybe he can go to school on his own dime (like on the weekends) and

try to get a local job............I'm sure (I hope) you voiced your concerns

to him.............it's not just his decision it's both of yours................BOL

2 you both!!!

[GTR SILVER]

""So he finds out about Swift, no clue why he went with them, and unbeknownst to me - he is talked into signing their contract and attending their school. By the time I found out, it was too late for me to do anything. He attends their school and gets his license. He has given his work notice and this is his last week - he will be attending orientation next week and hitting the road shortly after that.""

...oops i must have skipped over that part......can he get out of the contract....tell his boss he does not what to leave....then attend school on the weekends.....????

"unbeknownst"= he did not tell you....????
sounds like you both need to talk..........like yesterday...........