Cheating Husband

[otrwife]

Help!! How many woman out there have a husband that lies? I had one of my husbands friends get a hold of my cell phone number and call me to let me know he was having lunch with a woman from his job( the boss) and that they were seen out at a bar in Wisconsin and I shouldn't worry. He said he was calling in case I heard the rumors. Well, how would I hear rumors when I am at home and I don't talk to any of the so called friends he has made. I called his job and confronted the woman and she tried to say"NO" she is happily married and that she is never in bars alone. Well to her surprise and my husbands I don't BELIEVE them. I told my husband I called her and he told me I better not have he got all crazy when I told him. I told him who called me and he chose to tell me I am crazy and a liar he knows so and so and he wouldn't do that to him. WEll he has known this guy for about 6months we have been married and together for over 19 years, I asked him to please show me some respect and stop lying. My husband thinks he is the bomb, and tells me all women want him and that he can have anyone he wants. I told him to go get one, that no woman would put up with a cheating, liar. He thinks he is slick I'll catch him one day and him and the bimbo he is with and boy will they be sorry no violence will come from me. I may just show up in Rothschild,Wisconsin. I can't wait to see their faces..........

[4roses]

hello otrwife ... I understand you've been married for 19yrs but did I miss it (or) did you say how long your husband has been driving ? ... The reason I ask is because I've seen ALOT of people go on the road and some people just can't handle the freedom of being away from thier spouse and suddenly their getting cute remarks made to them that makes them feel like a kid again and can make them feel like their 'special' to the those who are fliritng with them.... and some people let it go to their head (s) ... ... for some reason or other it just seems to happen like that. ......... BUT on the other side of the coin I've also met people out there that are/where loyal to thier loved one back home ....... because of the strong bond the two had at home.................. I always hate hearing things like this when it happens, but ..... trucking doesn"t work for those who don't have a strong bond/relationship before starting to drive. ................. if he has always seeked the attention of others (females) all your married life - - - I wouldn't expect it to get better with him gone and you at home ........... 19yrs deserves some respect . . . . and if you can't get it from him .... then I'd start getting my ducks in a roll and get myself set up for a life of freedom .............................. I really don't want to come across harsh - - this is just what I've seen and experienced personally. .... I've had females flirt with the man I'm with - - -even with me standing beside him ...grrrrrrrrrrr :twisted:

[ICS]

first off i would like to say, This sounds like a fake to me. this is the only post the person has put up and this is what you contribute?
2nd -- why would you risk your 19 year marriage and your husbands and possibly your families lively hood by calling his boss to confront her? over some guy that your husband has only known for 6 months? Maybe your husband pissed him off and this was a plan to make trouble for him. if that was the case WOW did it work! you are going to beleave some guy you never met over your husband of 19 years?

Now that a say it myself this is gota be a fake post... I hope!

[Twilight Flyer]

Well, I doubt it's a fake. A lot of people with a serious and pressing problem will create an accout and then immediately post the problem. They're looking for help and guidance and many times will sound off right out of the gates.

[BanditsCousin]

So this guy called and told you this "just in case"? Sounds like someone is causing trouble. I'm not saying anything is goin on, and hopefully its not.

If i were to cheat on my gf, it wouldn't be with my boss. It just wouldn't make sense. My gf gets all pissy when her friends give her scenarios about what I "could" be doing on the road and she says its sooo hard not to listen to it, no matter how hard she blocks it out.

Hopefully this all pans out and its a mountain out of a molehill.

[dle]

I am not trying to belittle what you have said or going through, but, are you sure of your facts? Or are you reacting purely on emotions?

Some things that you might want to think about and answer:
How did this "friend" get your number?
Did this "friend" have "a thing" for the boss and was trying to frame your husband?
What is the past history of your husband when it comes to this kind of stuff?
How long has he worked for this company?
What is the 'reputation' of the boss when it comes to men in her employ?
How long has been on the road?
Are you taking your frustations out on him?
Is he taking his frustations out on him?
What factual proof do you have that these meetings took place?

[otrwife]

Well this is not a fake post. I believe this guy to a point my husband and this guy talk all the time. I am emotional and this is a sad situation, plus I did catch my husband eating breakfast with another woman once. As for confronting the boss I talked very nicely and told her what I heard and asked her about it. As we talked I realized that there was something there but I didn't go crazy I kept my composure and she thinks all is ok. I had to call this guy once to get a hold of my husband when my husband's phone wasn't working that is how he has my phone number. My husband has driven for over a year and we have never been apart. I am having a hard time. I am not one to just say things or write fake posts. It helps to vent. Thank you to all who understand.

[Drew10]

Although I cant help much...I think you will find some help here. Especially from some of the wifes of the drivers.
Ill keep you in my prayers. Hoping your situation will work out for the best.

[confusedwife]

I feel your pain. I have been in the same situation. I also happened to wonder upon the place, vented, had a wonderful person give me some great advice, then left because I am nener on the computer. I beleive that once it happens it will again unless the turn their life over to God. The words that were sent to me brought me back th the Lord and it saved me. Every time I would catch mine it would stop but 6 months later there it was, going on with another woman. He said it would stop and it would, however, he always found another. I am alone now with my children and the Lord to walk me down every path I face but finally I am free of the lying and cheating. Pray for your husband and for your peace and you will manage to work it out. I will pray for you guys!!!!!![/i][/b]

[LilBit]

Sending good thoughts your way, hoping you're enjoying a great day over there today. I was thinking maybe your husband and the boss sharing a meal was really nothing more than just that...she's his boss, not some random floozy he's found at a truck stop somewhere on the road... The friend called you to say not to worry if you heard rumors about your husband being seen with this woman possibly with good intentions to keep you from worrying about your man while he's out and about ... really I'd have been much more concerned to have received a phone call on them sharing brunch in bunk, kwim? Could be possible he has one of those caring bosses that likes to keep in touch with their employees and talk about work related issues somewhere other than the office so any questions or concerns can be brought up in a more neutral atmosphere, I'm hoping that's all this situation is. Would it have been an issue if he had went to lunch with a male boss? Just because she's a female doesn't mean his mind was on 'other intentions' ... I know there are some fellas out there that can get themselves into issues but really I'm thinking in your case this sounds like a case of a caring boss spending time with an employee over a meal, nothing more. [/b][/i]

[otrwife]

I do not believe he was out to lunch for a friendly one on one conversation about work. They have been seen at the bar together to many times. I have found hotel reciepts crumbled up in his truck. I have kept track of our cell phone bill and have called up some of the unfamiliar numbers and one was for her home phone. I checked it against the white pages. I really could careless anymore what he does he will never change he will always lie. It is a shame but even the kids are starting to realize he lies. Can someone answer this "Why any person needs to get a cash advance of $150.00 to $300.00 a week?" This is what mine takes everyweek and is broke when he comes home. This is another reason I don't believe the so called "business lunches." While we sit here some weeks and struggle just to have food, he is out having great food.I make sure the bills get paid and I make very little at my job. Hopefully he'll grow up one day and find someone who wants to him. I know in my heart it is over and I will move on as soon as I get my finances in order( almost there). Thanks again for letting me vent
KEEP SAFE EVERYONE.
Otrwife

[LilBit]

Those cash advances to the tune of one hundred fifty to three hundred dollars a week sounds steep if he's being provided funds to go on while he's out and about....if he's not leaving out with any funds in his pockets to eat on and purchase things he'll later be reimbursed for then he could very well be using that amount on the road. I know there were times when I was out and about that I contacted the boss through his home phone, after hours and such when I needed to reach him....some days I called him quite a few more times than other days to get information on what the next plans he had in place were or if there was an issue to let him know what was going on.

Wishing you all the best over there

[dle]

The simple answer is bad cash management (budgeting).

The answer in your case is not going to be that simple.

[otrwife]

My husband has always made sure he has money. He doesn't pay for anything to be reimbursed for. The cash advances are just for him to have money in his pocket. He eats at all the best restaurants (especailly when he is in Wisconsin and gets a ride) plus he spends money at the bars playing pool and drinking. One day he'll wake up without me and his kids and he can spend all he wants, I was stupid to stop my divorce 12 years ago I truly thought once we moved he would change. Oh well at least when I leave I know I did everything I was supposed to do. I stuck it out for the kids and to see if we could make it. I do not regret anything I just need to move on and find some happiness in my life.
STAY SAFE EVERYONE and GOD BLESS

OTRWIFE

[Trukrswyfe]

My husband has always made sure he has money. He doesn't pay for anything to be reimbursed for. The cash advances are just for him to have money in his pocket. He eats at all the best restaurants (especailly when he is in Wisconsin and gets a ride) plus he spends money at the bars playing pool and drinking. One day he'll wake up without me and his kids and he can spend all he wants, I was stupid to stop my divorce 12 years ago I truly thought once we moved he would change. Oh well at least when I leave I know I did everything I was supposed to do. I stuck it out for the kids and to see if we could make it. I do not regret anything I just need to move on and find some happiness in my life.
STAY SAFE EVERYONE and GOD BLESS

OTRWIFE

Otrwive

Seems like you need to just get things off your chest. Go for it.

No advice, no comments, no useless opinions, Only listening. You did the right thing, you forgave and gave him a chance to change. He is just showing you he is not going to do that. Wish him well, No hard feelings, and let it go. Do yourself the biggest favor you could ever do, forgive him, pitty him and don't waste another precious moment dewelling on "what ifs".

Sorry I guess I gave advice after all. Feel free to disrgard, "who am I anyway"

God Bless,
TW
I'll drop a pm if you wish to talk any further in private.
Just let me know.

[otrwife]

Forgiveness is a big thing, I am almost there. Unfortunately any love I have ever felt is turning to hate. He chose the open road over his secure loving family. I know I am not perfect, but I would never cheat, steal nor lie to make myself better. I made a commitment and I have children who need stability. Guess I should have opened my eyes wider. Thanks for listening and I do not mind advice. I believe it helps people look at things in different ways and makes us think more.
Again STAY SAFE EVERYONE AND GOD BLESS
otrwife

[tam81]

I know what it is like to be married to a man that lies like a rug. Mine is gone for 5 days and for the last month he has come home for home time and has gone and gotten a hotel room and then he comes home on the day he is to go back to work like it is ok.
The liar that he is went and stayed in a hotel about an hour from our home and tried to tell me he was at his job in upstate ny at a drivers meeting and I knew in my heart he was not there.
I did get my proof when I got an email from the hotel he stayed in on that day being as to how I booked at this chain in the past online and gave them my email address and to top it all off the woman that he fell in love with is from where he was staying so I put 2 and 2 together and realized he lied to me yet again.
And now he has her out on the road with him and is trying to make me believe he is alone but we have been gone since wednesday and all he has done was sent me a few texts and gave me a nasty call that night so i just told him to have fun with her because I know he is not alone.
I now realize I need to get over him and finalize the divorce and move on and let her have his lying butt until she wises up and see his true colors.
He will never change and I do know what it is like to be married to a liar.
It is hard but try to move on.

[otrwife]

I have been extremely busy and have not had a chance to listen or vent. I still have the husband problem cheating, lieing, stealing and spending money. The best things that have happened lately, 2 of my daughters graduated from college, and 1 from high school, my son made the high school football team, and my youngest daughter made the cheerleading squad in middle school, and I have finally added another year to my teaching certificate. I just wanted to boast about something good in my life.

I guess going through all this with the cheating ............ has taught me a lot, I am closer to divorce than I have been in awhile. I refinanced my home and my vehicle, my schooling has upped my salary 3000 yr. I can finally make it with out him.

Most men, some women will never change it is all about them, like this week since we did refinance we had to come up with a large sum of money ( it was well worth it) so now I am broke and can't buy any food or pay any bills for a couple of weeks.I always figure something out, my kids come first. Unfortunately the first thing my husband did was grab a cash advance and tonight is in Wisconsin eating and drinking and playing pool. If anyone sees a man named Ron and he is playing pool at Tilly's Pub in Rothschild, Wisconsin tell him he is a loser. He has a beautiful family that has had enough with his lies. I can not tell you all how much this forum means to me I feel so good when I can vent and when I read about others I feel for them. The best thing I can tell everyone who is in this position, just pray and believe and the Lord will see you through. Hang in there and realize when a spouse cheats or lies, it is their problem they can't cope and then take the easy way out. God bless all of you out there, drive safe and have a great week.
THanks for all your help
otrwife