My dad

[shyykatt]

Just an update; he had to go back & stay @ the VA a couple more weeks (a different VA this time) had an infection in his foot that went into the bone and they were going to amputate it if antibiotics didnt work; well, his leg is still swollen & everything but they say it is healing. His latest problem is his breathing, for some reason he is short of breath a lot and has panic attacks b/c of it. They did some more tests and a catscan and found 'something' on a lung; we havent gotten the results back yet. He came home on friday, which was also his B-day, and the day our colt was born. Dad has also lost an incredible amount of weight; he was a big fella and now so frail and lost most of his muscle mass. Im just afraid of what that 'something' on his lung will end up to be.

[mommee]

I will be praying for your dad.

[LilBit]

Been thinking about you over here....sending lots of good thoughts your way, hoping you've received some good news over there. (((Hugs)))

[shyykatt]

I didn't want to start another thread so I'll just post here.
On saturday my brother died, he was 49. We were never really close, but it hurts just the same. He was a drug addict most of his life and he just wouldnt quit; it was the meth that killed him- it ate away his organs.

My dad has been alright lately, but mom's health has been bad and now that Curt has passed away she is in worse shape- not handling it well at all. Hubby is on the road but should be home tomorrow night- the funeral is wed.

[mommee]

Sorry to hear about your brother. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Trukrswyfe]

Me too Shyykatt,

Your poor mom.... that has got to be extremely painfull all she is going through with you dad and now this. Glad your husband can be there for you and that your dad is doing better. Prayers for your whole family.






TW

[LilBit]

Sending prayers along for all your friends and family, good to hear your husband is going to be able to be there

[shyykatt]

Yesterday mom was hospitalized for a blood transfusion; she did go home last night and seemed much better today. My brothers wake was today and let me tell ya, I've never been scared at a wake before. Of course I was sad, but the funeral home was in a very bad part of town - Im a country girl and not used to 'city life'- but some of the people that came were downright scary; just out of prison, former gang members (along w/my brother); there was a lot of drinking/smoking going on- it wasnt like a wake at all- more like woodstock or something! As I was leaving a fight broke out- cops started showing up & everything; OMG I nearly pi$$ed myself; I felt bad for mom, but she seemed 'ok' about it all (she is staying in St.Paul @ my sisters- I drove home). Earlier in the day one of my cousins commented on all the police driving up & down the street; I asked "Well isnt that normal for around here?" and they said no- its b/c of Curt and they were driving around in case' something happens'; well, that sure didnt help my nerves any! I even had a relative offer me weed- everyone knows I've never done anything like that in my life- Gee, I cant wait for the funeral tomorrow; all I want to do is say goodbye to him and the whole thing is turning into a nightmare. Maybe its just ME; I didnt grow up in that environment so it all seems 'too much' for me. Like I said before, I didnt know him really well; I got an earful today- stories I have never heard in my life. Been a rough week- needed to 'vent' a little. ~ SK

[Trukrswyfe]

Shyykatt,

You don't need my permission to vent. I say vent away, and comeback and edit or delete later. That's my motto.

I have never lost a brother as I have only one the rest are sisters. But I have lost those close to me and those that I barely knew. Grief is a strange beast, though you didn't know him all that well, shock is usually the emotion people are still in at the funeral. Try to keep a close eye on your mom, she may look like she is handling it well, Her body is telling a whole different story. It probably will take a while for her.

I lost two of my best friends, it's in unexpected moments I remember something and start crying or reminising. But they were my friends, It just isn't right for a parent to lose a child.

Pm is you need to chat.
TW

[shyykatt]

Thank you TW.
The service was very sad, but very nice. Three of my other siblings spoke- they did a great job telling stories about him. My oldest brother was really falling apart- the two were very close. After we left the cemetary everyone went to a bar (of course). I stayed long enough to eat and talk to a few people; wanted to get out of there before things got too 'crazy'- Im not a drinker- people were getting wasted pretty fast. Will definetly keep an eye on mom- she didnt cry too much, probably trying too hard to hold it all in. I've NEVER lost anyone close to me, this is 'new' for me- taking it a day @ a time.

[Trukrswyfe]

You know about 7 years ago, my husband and I said, we never had anyone close to us pass away. I guess you should never say a statement like that. Next thing you know we are buy funeral closes. His grandparents, then my grandpa, then my friends. My too closest friends I lost in the summer time. Certain activities bring a flood of memories.

Your mom may do really well then The holidays, or birthday, or something and she will be right back in the whole grief mode. It's ok to cry, it is actually a great release to stress and saddness.

Everyone is so different but I do think it would help it if you got her to talk. Share some stories, Happy ones of course about your brother. You never know you may learn something you didn't already know.

I have five sisters should anything happen to one of them. My mom would be a mess, I would take her to a sad movie, get that out of the way, then take her to a funnie movie to laugh her you know what off.
A good laugh is also very theraputic. I have a great time making my mom laugh, I even had her laughing so hard once she peed her pants for real. That story still makes her laugh to this day.

Hope you don't mind me posting.
I'll shut up now. 8)

[shyykatt]

I don't mind.
I guess after I left, one of my sisters (who was drunk, grr...) said to my mom "How come you didnt cry?!" It upset my mom, of course, so my other sister took her to her house to be alone for a while. My mother just doesnt like to cry in front of people (so thats where I got that from!). Anyway, I'll probably see her later today (shes still not home yet); maybe have dinner or something.

[Hwyfly]

Best wishes for a quick recovery! My prayers are with you all!