It is hard to not show your true feelings

[Cheryle]

It is very hard to not show how i am feeling right now when I talk to my husband. He is on the road and I definately do not want to argue with him or make him feel bad. But he has said a few things the last few days that have just pissed me off to be honest.

Just a little history here... sorry

He was last home on approved time off over ladbor day. He left the Friday after --Sept 7th I think. About 2 weeks ago he had a delivery about 40 miles from home on a Monday and got to the Company Operating center Saturday afternoon. He came home until Monday. We both thought that since he was so close, that they would schedule him time off like they did in Sept. NOT..... They sent him to North Carolina.
They told him to get time off, he has to put in for it they dont schedule it for you----like they did the first time.

So, he was talking about putting in for time off the 3rd week of October. The other day he said he probably wasnt going to because we need the money and if he takes time off, he wont get paid for those days. I said a few times yes we need the $$ but he also has to come home. So far I dont know when he is coming home. He was told that he would be on the road 3 weeks then home a week. I guess they lied... surprise surprise.

Then,.... he started talking about finding someone to team with so that the truck can run 24/7 and not have to follow the 70 hrs in 8 day rule and have off time someone out on the road. He mentioned that someone knows of a woman looking for a team mate. I dont know if he is serious or not. He is always saying stuff to "pull my leg". I let him know that I didnt think it was amusing.

I feel downright crabby right now. We have had some rough times over the last few year. All this time alone gives a person a lot of time to think and things just festering on top of my mood. CRABBY...

This is so hard. He has only been driving otr since the end of August and it feels like forever. When he sits on his off time, he gets lonely and talks about coming home. Talks about quitting (which means we would have to pay for the frikken class) and trying to find something local. Once the truck rolls again he is talking about staying out there. He has been driving some long trips and getting some good pay checks, so he wants to stay out there.

Thanks for being here for me to vent.

Does anyone out there have a husband who has a woman partner???? How do you feel about it?

thanks.

[shyykatt]

My hubby is solo, and would never even want to team w/a woman other than me; I would be very irritated if he was looking for a woman to team with, and would wonder WHY to begin with. Some things are funny- I have a sense of humor- but THAT I would not find too funny, especially if hes actively seeking a female driver. If he's trying to 'be funny', tell him he needs some new material :wink:

[Cheryle]

I dont know if he is serious or not. He talks about teaming to avoid the 70 hr rule and have to stop. He hates the time he has to sit. When he is driving he is much better.

I dont know if he was serious or not about teaming with a woman. I would think not. I told him he know how i would feel about it and left it at that. If the subject comes up again, I will tell him definately not.

Today was a bad one for me. Mentally-- nothing bad happened. Just a bad day. Most times I am ok.

Thank you for being here...

[Trukrswyfe]

Hey Cheryle,

Im sorry to here your down today. I agree with you I think he is kidding. You both are adjusting to a different life now and that takes some getting used to. Is is just money that drives him to keep the truck rollin?

My husband wanted the truck to stay moving to keep his mind busy, free from thinking about things he was missing. Could be.

I would not like it if my husband decided to team with a woman, one time his company justed asked him to pick up two girls from one place and take them to another. He ignored their request entirely. I laughed at him and said "oh you wanna pick those ladies up go a head" Lets just say he knows better then that, even is I say it is ok.

Try it just once turn on the heat in your house, crank up the music, wild crazy music and exercise all your pent up frustration. When you get to the runners high, you will feel so much better I promise. Plus when you set a goal for yourself in three weeks you will see a difference. Depending on my mood I will work out till I feel better. Its like kicking someones azz, except its your own and it feels good. Ok I will never mention that again I hate harping.

Charity

[Ridge Runner]

Just some thoughts to ponder from the male ( also drivers ) side of it. I drove a team run right out of the gate. Four days out and home three ( with a male co-driver ) . Lost the dedicated run and co-driver quit. Now I'm solo. Only a few times did I have to do a 34hr re-set away from home, but when I did!!!! Those were the worst 34 hrs in my life! My wife helped me look for another co-driver and she mostly looked for a female. She KNOWS I get along better with a female than a male and would get in a lot less trouble :P It's all about what works. For me a female co-driver would have been a better fit. I will most likely catch hell for saying this but..... for the most part women don't yack on the CB about how they will kick every other drivers ***** or all the BS that they have done. Women don't feel the need to go to the nearest "titty bar" every time they have a 3 hr wait to get loaded or unloaded. I drove OTR for one reason and ONE reason only: To provide for my family!

Just my humble $.02


Ridge

[Cheryle]

Ridge----My husband hates the 34 hr resets too. That is when he feels the most lonely and talks about quitting. Once he is back on the road he sounds better. If he could time the 34 hr stop at a company operating center, that would help I am sure but it is rare that that happens.

I am sure that partnering with a woman has its good points, but I still will not condone it. That may not be fair to him but I can't help how I feel on the subject. He knows how I feel and that is all I can do. I told him that I dont think he would like it if I was in a truck driving around the country with another man. He did not comment, which has always meant that he agrees. Big on voicing when i am wrong, no comment when I am right.

Trukrswyfe- I have to admit I am a bit lazy but exercise has been on my mind a lot lately. I will have to just try it-- i am sure it will help pass the time, get the heart pumping and get me in better shape.

Money is a major motivator for keeping the truck rolling. He tries to get atleast 2000 miles a week and has been lucky that they have sent him on some long hauls. Last week was 2900 miles.

He hates the 34 hr lay over and that is the main reason he would like to team as that would be avoided. I cant blame him as I would not like that either.

I just feel so angry lately like i could explode at any given moment. But that will pass I am sure.

[Rev.Vassago]

Then,.... he started talking about finding someone to team with so that the truck can run 24/7 and not have to follow the 70 hrs in 8 day rule

FYI, ALL drivers are subject to the 70/8 rule, whether they are team drivers or solo.

[Cheryle]

Thank you for the information. I dont think he knows that. He thinks the truck can run 24/7 with a team.

Can you explain to me how the 70 hrs in 8 days works? Lets say---for example that a driver had the 34 hrs rest end on the October 7... the 8 days would be up on the Oct 15th right ? What if you dont have 70 hours in those 7 days? Does it go back to 0 at the beginning of October 16th?
Is there a way to avoid the 34 hr shut down?

[Cheryle]

I am in Fenton Michigan. I cant answser your PM as I dont have the 50 posts yets required. Sorry. I will have to come on here and post more often so that I get them. How do i find out how many i have so far?

thanks

[mapleleaf_1]

Cheryle, if you look below where it shows when you joined it says Posts and how many you've done so far.
Ridge I have to agree with you, in a way. Having a co-driver of the opposite sex would probably be better. Being a woman driver I'd probably get along better with a male co-driver. Although, I prefer to drive solo.Like everyone's saying, the 34 hour restart is the worst time to deal with, next is waiting to be given a reload. Those are the times I would like to pack it in and say "forget this". Nothing's worse than sitting at a crappy truck stop for 34 hours. If I know I've got to do it while on the road I try my damndest to find a truck stop that has some amenities that will help to pass the time faster. I've been stuck at a couple of Pilot truck stops for restarts and there's nothing to do at those places.

[Rev.Vassago]

Can you explain to me how the 70 hrs in 8 days works? Lets say---for example that a driver had the 34 hrs rest end on the October 7... the 8 days would be up on the Oct 15th right ? What if you dont have 70 hours in those 7 days? Does it go back to 0 at the beginning of October 16th?

The hours don't automatically reset every 8 days. Let's say, for example, he works 8.75 hours per day for 8 days. At the end of 8 days, he's worked 70 hours. On day 9, he has 8.75 hours available to him.

If he uses up his hours quicker, then he must wait to gain hours. Let's say he works 9 hours per day for 7 days. On day 8, he's going to have 7 hours available to work, at which point he must wait until day 9, when he will gain back 9 hours.

Remember also, that "work" includes more than driving. It includes loading, unloading, fueling, pre trips, post trips, etc.

Is there a way to avoid the 34 hr shut down?

Sure, but there's no way he'll run 24/7. If he and his co-driver each work more than 8.75 hours per day, they will eventually run out of hours. That means they can only work 17.5 hours per day between them, or they will eventually run out of hours before their 8 days is up. That means they have 6.5 hours per day that neither of them can be working to ensure they don't run out of hours and have to wait to regain hours.

[repete]

Your hubby may have to take a close look at how is logging, if he's running 2000 mi and needs a reset he may be spending to much time on line 4. The fewer resets=less time to be homesick, when he is shut down
he needs something to do(read watch movies ect it all adds up)
This is rough time and can be a big adustment for both of you
And a female codriver, not a good idea! (you handled that well :wink: )
BOL

[Cheryle]

Thank you all. I appreciate the explanation of the hours reset. I know some days are longer due to trailers having to be unloaded instead of dropping the trailer. Loads not ready when they should be etc Lukily he is given a lot of time to get to places that helps too. Lots of factors. I know work is not just driving. I have learned a lot in the last few months.

Trukrswyfe-- Once he finishes his year to pay for the class, I will mention other companies and options. No way now. He is on one of those dreaded resets.... so he is CRANKY !!

Mapleleaf- I know they are tough and that is when he thinks about quitting and coming home. Once he is on the road again he is a totally different person. I try to understand, grit my teeth and just help him thru it. Today nothing is getting him through it. He is just arguementative. I am trying not to argue back, but I let him know what I thought. He seems a bit better the last few conversations. He is much better when he is at a company operating center with facilites and fee internet. I told him to pay the monthly fee at the Pilot or TA centers and he says no. Today is a tough one talking to him.

I know it is hard for drivers out there alone. I cannot imagine doing it. But, it is hard back here alone holding down the fort too. I am glad there are no little kids. Just 1 dog 2 cats. Somedays I like not having to deal with what someone else wants and just do what i want. Others it is very hard.