Venting and a question

[madii'swife]

Ok, I thought I was ready for this whole hubby being gone to be a trucker thing. I know to stay busy, I know to be supportive, I've heard most the advice. But here I am, at 2 in the morning, feeling like I want to bawl my eyes out. Why? I feel helpless and very alone. My hubby is out with a trainer currently, and is having a few issues. I'm very used to being able to help him through anything..and everything. This time..I don't even know enough to know what is and isn't supposed to be going on.
What makes it worse currently, is he calls me on his trainers cell phone, which is great don't get me wrong. But..I'm not allowed to call him except for emergencies. Well, I can't quite talk myself into me falling apart being an emergency, so here I sit. I know this will probably smooth out just fine, maybe even by the next time I talk to him, it just doesn't seem to be doing me much good right now.
Also..does anybody else have trouble making themselves go to bed? I get tired, and then I push past it and don't feel it so much anymore. And it ends up being 3 and 4 in the morning before I make it to bed. I know that can't be helping here, any suggestions.

Thanks for letting me vent..

[Twilight Flyer]

Get into a good book or a good movie to take your mind off things. Sitting there typing at the computer about it will only make it worse.

[madii'swife]

Thanks, although I have to disagree in some ways. Writing is an outlet for me, and tends to help tremendously, with or without an answer. It tends to let it off my chest enough for me to move on.
Either way, the morning light is always a new perspective.

[Goin Fer It]

Try Melatonin to help you sleep! You can get it from any store. It works great for me when I need it.

Goin Fer It's Wife

[trckndadsangel]

Ok, I thought I was ready for this whole hubby being gone to be a trucker thing. I know to stay busy, I know to be supportive, I've heard most the advice. But here I am, at 2 in the morning, feeling like I want to bawl my eyes out. Why? I feel helpless and very alone. My hubby is out with a trainer currently, and is having a few issues. I'm very used to being able to help him through anything..and everything. This time..I don't even know enough to know what is and isn't supposed to be going on.
What makes it worse currently, is he calls me on his trainers cell phone, which is great don't get me wrong. But..I'm not allowed to call him except for emergencies. Well, I can't quite talk myself into me falling apart being an emergency, so here I sit. I know this will probably smooth out just fine, maybe even by the next time I talk to him, it just doesn't seem to be doing me much good right now.
Also..does anybody else have trouble making themselves go to bed? I get tired, and then I push past it and don't feel it so much anymore. And it ends up being 3 and 4 in the morning before I make it to bed. I know that can't be helping here, any suggestions.

Thanks for letting me vent..

How long has your husband been gone and how much longer with the trainer? The hardest part is when they are in training. Hang in there it will get better. As for feeling helpless that is normal but in no way are you being helpless you are being more of a help to your husband than you know. Just being there is a help when he calls home and hears your voice.

As for not being able to get to sleep. Oh you bet I get that way. I just find something to do. Do you have anything that you do for a hobby? If you do any then make something for your husband even if it's something small. Do you listen to music put the headphones on and get lost in the music it helps me to get my mind off things. You can also go to www.loads.org it is a great place for support there are lots of wives, drivers and even parents to drivers ect. there. Loads stands for love ones and drivers support. Even though I was raised in this industry when my husband went OTR almost 6 years ago I would of never made it through the first 3 months if it was not for this board and loads.

Hang in there it will get better keep your chin up.

[madii'swife]

Try Melatonin to help you sleep! You can get it from any store. It works great for me when I need it.

Goin Fer It's Wife

Thanks for the idea, I had forgotten about it. I have to admit though, its not an issue of getting to sleep, its a matter of forcing myself to go to bed. Once I'm in bed I'm out in 10-15 min tops. I've just always been a bit of a night owl, and usually my husband drug me to bed when he was ready.

[madii'swife]

How long has your husband been gone and how much longer with the trainer?

He was gone 3 weeks for school, and gone since a week ago Sunday with the trainer. He has 2 weeks left with the trainer, but it looks like he will need to request a new one :?

As for not being able to get to sleep. Oh you bet I get that way. I just find something to do. Do you have anything that you do for a hobby? If you do any then make something for your husband even if it's something small. Do you listen to music put the headphones on and get lost in the music it helps me to get my mind off things. You can also go to www.loads.org it is a great place for support there are lots of wives, drivers and even parents to drivers ect. there. .

I do have several hobbies. Hadn't really thought about making something for him although thats a great idea! Would keep me busy and be doing something for him. I have been over to loads, but not registered, guess its time to go over there too. THANKS!

[jdg]

Madii"swife,
I would,.........oh hell who am I fooling, my relationship is going down the tubes, and I don't even know why.
Hang in there, it'll get better as long as you don't dump him for not doing something you want him to do when you know he won't do it :? .
As far as sleep,....run a few miles before bed and you will sleep like a baby.

[madii'swife]

Madii"swife,
I would,.........oh hell who am I fooling, my relationship is going down the tubes, and I don't even know why.
Hang in there, it'll get better as long as you don't dump him for not doing something you want him to do when you know he won't do it :? .
As far as sleep,....run a few miles before bed and you will sleep like a baby.

Shoot, if I didn't dump him in our first year or two together I sure am not going to do it now. And my husband is the picture of change, so I'm used to it, just him, but I knew that before we got married. What I didn't know is how hard it is to get married at 18 and 20, move to a new state, have a baby 9 months later, and quit smoking(my husband) all in the same year.
As far as running a few miles..ever tried that after dark, in a black neighborhood when you're white..with a stroller? The sleep thing has gotten better though, I started getting up earlier, before the children, and am exhausted by bedtime that way. Thanks for the encouraging words!

[Roadhog]

I know you started this a month ago. I've notice your stress in other posts. But I think you are doing what you can and what you need to do. That is have lines of communication...whether it is online message, chat, email, or even yakking it up on the phone. That way you can express your feelings, and understand yourself in the process. I know when I write my feelings out, or express them in any number of ways...I open up my feelings more, and see things more clearly.


...yew gonna eat dat?
...yes!
...can I have some?
...no!
...it looks good..
...go away!
...pretty please?
...goun git!
...awwwah....

[Bthere]

My husband just finished school and has been with a trainer for almost 3 weeks now. I too find I am having trouble sleeping - and I wake up exhausted. I will fall asleep around 10 then wake up with my mind racing, feeling overwhelmed about having to be making all the parental decisions and keeping a handle on things - especially me, not being depressed and crying all the time! I guess that is kinda normal from what I am reading online. I think trying to stay busy, cleaning house, organizing, doing activities with the kids is what keeps my mind off things during the day. I never realized how hard it would be! My 7 year old boy is so proud of dad - he loves that his dad drives a big truck! He has started to not listen to me though - and also keeps having trouble focusing at school- its been a hard adjustment for the kids too. I am glad I found some support groups ilke this one.

[mapleleaf_1]

madii'swife it is a difficult time for the family starting out and even when you've been driving for a long time. If at any time you'd like to chat or anyone else feeling the same way message me. If I'm around I'll answer or message you back later. I use Yahoo messenger. Take care. Everyone be safe.

[Truckfam]

I have only found one solution to get over the crying, anxiety, worry, lonely, love sick school girl thing. I knew I didn't have the money or budget for it. I wen't ahead and did it anyhow. I got two cell phones. One for him and one for me with unlimited mobile to mobile.

If he doesn't mind talking while driving, he will need a hands free headset. If he can't talk then I ring him anyhow. He will hear it ringing, and know I tried to call. When he goes to his phone, he will see one missed message from me. He will know that I either want or need to talk to him. I know he will call back as soon as he is able to do so.

I also know if he wants/needs to talk to me or if something happens, he will call me. I also have three kids, and the phone has helped alot with I miss daddy.

I consider a cell phone a neccisity now and not just a want. Best thing is that when he is out whether short or long haul, I have the security of knowing we will be able to reach each other.

[madii'swife]

We have gone to the cellphones too. We had to have a deposit to get them though, so HAD to wait until his checks starting coming in. We are settling in some, not feeling very stressed unless he's having a hard time with something, and then its hard for me not to be affected by his problems and mood.

Cute puppies hog