S.A.T. Answers

[Southron]

THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS & ANSWERS WERE COLLATED FROM SAT TESTS GIVEN TO 16 YEAR OLD STUDENTS! (DON'T LAUGH TOO HARD -- ONE OF THEM COULD BE THE PRESIDENT SOMEDAY.)

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard & vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep & canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves & makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth & the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, & nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels & you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood & looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax & the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart & lungs, & the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O & U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section."
A: The cesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places & so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.

Just think, someday these kids are going to be running the world!
Be afraid ... be very afraid!