You might be trailer trash if ...

[Southron]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRAILER TRASH WHEN...
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. If you still haven’t forgiven Billy Ray Cyrus after he cut off his mullett.
4. If you still have a mullett!
5. You can name every NASCAR driver and his car’s number in under 3 minutes.
6. You have a VHS copy of “World’s Worst Hunting Accidents” ... and you’re in it!
7. You know at least one person who was killed by race car crash debris.
8. You broke up with your fiance because she refused to change the wedding date so you wouldn’t miss the Daytona 500.
9. You have so much junk in your front yard, passing motorists think you’re having a yard sale.
10. You own a VHS copy of “World’s Worst Racing Accidents” ... and you’re in it!
11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, “Gentlemen start your engines!"
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
18. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
19. Your house has wheels but your car doesn’t.
20. You have a VHS copy of “World’s Wildest Rodeo Accidents” ... and you’re in it!
21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say “Country Crock” on the side.
22. If the biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart.
23. If your T.V. stand is a non-working T.V.
24. If your grandmother still wears halter tops.
25. If you’ve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart.
27. If you’ve ever started a petition to make Dale Earnhardt’s and Elvis Presley’s birthdays a State holiday.
28. You now at least one person who was killed while attending a boat race.
29. If you’ve ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
30. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement.
31. You have a VHS copy of “When Tornados Attack Trailer Parks” ... and you’re in it!
32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
33. If the directions to your house include the words, “turn off of the paved road”.
34. You and your buddies get into fist-fights arguing about which wrestler is the best.
35. If you’ve ever been too drunk to fish.
36. If you have ever reached for the ketchup bottle to quench your thirst.
37. Your travel luggage consists of Win Dixie bags and Igloo coolers.
38. If you ever mowed your yard and found a car.
39. Whenever someone shouts, “Hey Bubba!”, you and 5 other people turn around to see who’s calling you.
40. If your wife, mother and grandmother all work at the same titty bar.
41. If your mother-in-law can tell the state trooper to kiss her ass without taking the Marlboro out of her mouth.
42. If you lost at least 6 dogs the last time your front porch collapsed.
41. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
42. If you missed your 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
43. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
44. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
45. Jerry Springer makes your list of “most admired people.”
46. You know at least one person who was accidentally crushed to death by Bigfoot while attend a monster truck rally.
47. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey, y’all watch this!”
48. Getting shot while deer hunting is considered a rite of passage in your family.
49. Your life insurance rates are higher because you have to buy additional accidental death coverage for boat races, auto races and monster truck rallies.
50. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
51. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.
52 Your boat has not left your driveway in 15 years.
53. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
54. You think the “Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive.
55. The Salvation Army doesn’t want your furniture.
56. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
57. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
58. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.
59. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
60. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
61. Your grannie has “shotgun shells” on her Christmas list.
62. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
63. You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
64. You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
65. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
66. You have a rag for a gas cap.
67. Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
68. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
69. You can spit without opening your mouth.
70. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
71. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
72. Someone tells you that you’ve got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!
73. You don’t understand why the first 72 are so funny.

[JewelsnTools]

Priceless!!!! :d