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Thread: A must read for the men.....that means all of you!!!!

  1. #1
    Sabine's Avatar
    Sabine is offline Board Regular Sabine is an unknown poster at this point.  Don't let him/her around power tools just yet.
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Fredericktown, MO
    Posts
    300

    Default A must read for the men.....that means all of you!!!!

    ++++Fall and winter classes for men++++:


    THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    by Wednesday, 30 September 2009
    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

    Class 1
    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


    Class 2
    The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


    Class 5
    Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM


    Class 6
    Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


    Class 7
    Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


    Class 8
    Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 9
    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined


    Class 10
    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


    Class 11
    Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined


    Class 12
    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.



    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    For Anthony, who was taken from our lives much too young. I love you honey, and I will always miss you.
    ~21 December 1973 - 29 September 2006~

  2. #2
    ronjon619's Avatar
    ronjon619 is offline Senior Board Member ronjon619 is a trusted source of information and would probably pick up your dry cleaning. ronjon619 is a trusted source of information and would probably pick up your dry cleaning. ronjon619 is a trusted source of information and would probably pick up your dry cleaning.
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,192

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    ++++Fall and winter classes for men++++:


    THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    by Wednesday, 30 September 2009
    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

    Class 1
    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


    Class 2
    The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


    Class 5
    Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM


    Class 6
    Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


    Class 7
    Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


    Class 8
    Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 9
    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined


    Class 10
    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


    Class 11
    Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined


    Class 12
    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.



    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    Here's a few photos that made me laugh.........Enjoy






  3. #3
    DaveP's Avatar
    DaveP is offline Senior Board Member DaveP is on the right path.  You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    "The Shoals", Alabama
    Posts
    658

    Default

    Those are funny Sabine!

    A lady friend in Idaho just offered me some post-grad classes as well...

    "If it's not too self-promotional, I will be offering huge discounts for grads to my post-grad level seminars:

    Topics Include
    *The Difference Between "Doing My Share" and "Helping Her Out a Little Bit."

    **Formulating polysyllabic responses to complex questions.

    ***How to have a minor illness without reverting to a toddler's dependence level.

    Warning - this seminar requires extreme cognitive skills and if you did poorly with the concepts covered in "Difference between Mommy and Wife" classes, you are encouraged to repeat that class before attempting this seminar. There is NO access to TV or Video Games for those experiencing melt-down during seminar hours. "

  4. #4
    Windwalker's Avatar
    Windwalker is offline Board Icon Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Been there and gone...
    Posts
    6,184

    Default

    I don't see what it is in the first one, but the third one must be a truck driver, considering all the complaints about drivers that take a whizz in the parking lot. It's one thing behind the sleeper of his truck, but in the middle of a crowd in plain view of the camera???
    Destroy the cities...
    and they will rebuild them.
    Destroy the farms...
    and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

    Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
    and grass will grow in the executive offices.

    The bill has come due.
    ( R E T I R E D , and glad of it)


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