Dear Abby...

[Cluggy619]

I saw this on Craigslist....knew I had to share...

It had to happen...

Dear Abby…
I want to marry a nice sweet girl who has just completed her sentence for smothering her illegitimate child. My background, like hers, is irreproachable – my dad peddles narcotics to school kids; my mother died in an asylum of syphilitic insanity; my two sisters are prostitutes; and my older brother is awaiting execution for killing his girlfriends’ husband. However, my younger brother is the black sheep of the family. He is a truck driver. Should I tell my beloved intended the awful truth about my brother?
Deeply Concerned

[Jackrabbit379]

Surely not. That's nutz.

[Windwalker]

Well, folks... Now you know just where you fit in social circles.

[AC120]

Dear Abby Dear Abby
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend
Would ever get caught
We were sittin' in the backseat
Just shootin' the breeze
With her hair up in curlers
And her pants to her knees
(Signed) Just Married

Just Married Just Married
You have no complaint
You are what you are
And you ain't what you ain't
So listen up, Buster
And listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck
And knockin' on wood
(Signed) Dear Abby

-- John Prine, "Dear Abby"

[Windwalker]

Dear Abby Dear Abby
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend
Would ever get caught
We were sittin' in the backseat
Just shootin' the breeze
With her hair up in curlers
And her pants to her knees
(Signed) Just Married

Just Married Just Married
You have no complaint
You are what you are
And you ain't what you ain't
So listen up, Buster
And listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck
And knockin' on wood
(Signed) Dear Abby

-- John Prine, "Dear Abby"

sounds to be like she might have PLANNED to get caught...

[Creek Jackson]

Dear Abby Dear Abby
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend
Would ever get caught
We were sittin' in the backseat
Just shootin' the breeze
With her hair up in curlers
And her pants to her knees
(Signed) Just Married

Just Married Just Married
You have no complaint
You are what you are
And you ain't what you ain't
So listen up, Buster
And listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck
And knockin' on wood
(Signed) Dear Abby

-- John Prine, "Dear Abby"

Here is the whole song,,,,,,,,,,,

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered...
Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy

Unhappy, Unhappy...
Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed Noise-maker

Noise-maker, Noise-maker
Repeat Chorus

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married

Just Married, Just Married...
Repeat Chorus


Didn't mean to hitchjack your lyrics, AC.

[AC120]

[Jumbo]

Did anybody happen to get the number of either of those sisters?