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Thread: Dear Abby...

  1. 03-12-2009 10:23 PM #1
    Cluggy619's Avatar
    Cluggy619
    Cluggy619 is offline Senior Board Member Cluggy619 is on the right path. You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
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    Default Dear Abby...

    I saw this on Craigslist....knew I had to share...

    It had to happen...

    Dear Abby…
    I want to marry a nice sweet girl who has just completed her sentence for smothering her illegitimate child. My background, like hers, is irreproachable – my dad peddles narcotics to school kids; my mother died in an asylum of syphilitic insanity; my two sisters are prostitutes; and my older brother is awaiting execution for killing his girlfriends’ husband. However, my younger brother is the black sheep of the family. He is a truck driver. Should I tell my beloved intended the awful truth about my brother?
    Deeply Concerned
    Deja moo. It's when you feel you have heard this BS before.



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  2. 03-14-2009 09:51 AM #2
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    Jackrabbit379
    Jackrabbit379 is offline Board Icon Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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    Default

    Surely not. That's nutz.


    http://watsonsysco.com/
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  3. 03-20-2009 11:07 PM #3
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    Windwalker
    Windwalker is offline Board Icon Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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    Well, folks... Now you know just where you fit in social circles.
    Destroy the cities...
    and they will rebuild them.
    Destroy the farms...
    and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

    Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
    and grass will grow in the executive offices.

    The bill has come due.
    ( R E T I R E D , and glad of it)

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  4. 03-21-2009 06:31 AM #4
    AC120's Avatar
    AC120
    AC120 is offline Member AC120 is on the right path. You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
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    Default Dear Abby Dear Abby

    Dear Abby Dear Abby
    Well I never thought
    That me and my girlfriend
    Would ever get caught
    We were sittin' in the backseat
    Just shootin' the breeze
    With her hair up in curlers
    And her pants to her knees
    (Signed) Just Married

    Just Married Just Married
    You have no complaint
    You are what you are
    And you ain't what you ain't
    So listen up, Buster
    And listen up good
    Stop wishin' for bad luck
    And knockin' on wood
    (Signed) Dear Abby

    -- John Prine, "Dear Abby"
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  5. 03-21-2009 08:10 AM #5
    Windwalker's Avatar
    Windwalker
    Windwalker is offline Board Icon Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AC120 View Post
    Dear Abby Dear Abby
    Well I never thought
    That me and my girlfriend
    Would ever get caught
    We were sittin' in the backseat
    Just shootin' the breeze
    With her hair up in curlers
    And her pants to her knees
    (Signed) Just Married

    Just Married Just Married
    You have no complaint
    You are what you are
    And you ain't what you ain't
    So listen up, Buster
    And listen up good
    Stop wishin' for bad luck
    And knockin' on wood
    (Signed) Dear Abby

    -- John Prine, "Dear Abby"
    sounds to be like she might have PLANNED to get caught...
    Destroy the cities...
    and they will rebuild them.
    Destroy the farms...
    and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

    Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
    and grass will grow in the executive offices.

    The bill has come due.
    ( R E T I R E D , and glad of it)

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  6. 03-21-2009 10:33 AM #6
    Creek Jackson's Avatar
    Creek Jackson
    Creek Jackson is offline Senior Board Member Creek Jackson is on the right path. You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AC120 View Post
    Dear Abby Dear Abby
    Well I never thought
    That me and my girlfriend
    Would ever get caught
    We were sittin' in the backseat
    Just shootin' the breeze
    With her hair up in curlers
    And her pants to her knees
    (Signed) Just Married

    Just Married Just Married
    You have no complaint
    You are what you are
    And you ain't what you ain't
    So listen up, Buster
    And listen up good
    Stop wishin' for bad luck
    And knockin' on wood
    (Signed) Dear Abby

    -- John Prine, "Dear Abby"
    Here is the whole song,,,,,,,,,,,

    Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
    My feet are too long
    My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
    My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
    Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
    Signed Bewildered

    Bewildered, Bewildered...
    Chorus:
    You have no complaint
    You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
    So listen up Buster, and listen up good
    Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

    Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
    My fountain pen leaks
    My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
    Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
    If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
    Signed Unhappy

    Unhappy, Unhappy...
    Repeat Chorus

    Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
    You won't believe this
    But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
    My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
    But my stomach tells me to write you instead
    Signed Noise-maker

    Noise-maker, Noise-maker
    Repeat Chorus

    Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
    Well I never thought
    That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
    We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
    With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
    Signed Just Married

    Just Married, Just Married...
    Repeat Chorus


    Didn't mean to hitchjack your lyrics, AC.
    Last edited by Creek Jackson; 03-21-2009 at 10:47 AM.
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  7. 03-21-2009 10:45 AM #7
    AC120's Avatar
    AC120
    AC120 is offline Member AC120 is on the right path. You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
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    Default

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  8. 03-22-2009 08:03 AM #8
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    Jumbo
    Jumbo is offline Senior Board Member Jumbo is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jumbo is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jumbo is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jumbo is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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    Did anybody happen to get the number of either of those sisters?
    Don't trust anybody. Especially that guy in the mirror.
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