thought for 2009

[still bullhauler]

> Number 10
>
> Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> Number 9
>
> Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>
> Number 8
>
> Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
> without an erection, make him a sandwich.
>
> Number 7
>
> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
> person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for
> weeks.
>
> Number 6
>
> Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for
> anything, but you still can't help but smile when you
> shove them down the stairs.
>
> Number 5
>
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
> hospitals dying of nothing.
>
> Number 4
>
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
> attention to criticism.
>
> Number 3
>
> Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a
> substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?
>
> Number 2
>
> In the '60's, people took acid to make the world
> weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make
> it normal.
>
> AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2009
> We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is
> located among the millions and millions of cows in America,
> but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of
> illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we
> should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
> immigration.
>
> And the BONUS thought for today:
>
> 'Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,
> might burn your ass tomorrow.'