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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2008, 05:49 PM
RebelDarlin's Avatar
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Posts: 2,431
RebelDarlin is on the right path.  You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
Default Older Women

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see ...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies !!!
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My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
Thomas Jefferson- Democratic-Republican
That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and, hence, is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Abraham Lincoln - Republican
And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.
John F. Kennedy - Democrat
WTF happened?????
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 11-14-2008, 06:37 PM
Jackrabbit379's Avatar
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Wichita Falls,Tx
Posts: 5,936
Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
Default

So what happened? Did she get the speeding ticket?
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 11-16-2008, 06:27 AM
RebelDarlin's Avatar
Senior Board Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,431
RebelDarlin is on the right path.  You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
Default

I don't think so...
__________________
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
Thomas Jefferson- Democratic-Republican
That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and, hence, is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Abraham Lincoln - Republican
And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.
John F. Kennedy - Democrat
WTF happened?????
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