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Thread: Anger Management

  1. #1
    BlooMoose's Avatar
    BlooMoose is offline K-Mart Secret Shopper Senior Board Member BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Lubbock, Texas
    Posts
    1,045

    Default Anger Management

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

    I found the number and dialed it.
    A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
    I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an *******!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an *******!'

    It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ******* calling would have to stop.

    So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

    He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.
    I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an *******!' and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW *******, too.

    I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
    He said, 'Yes, it is..'
    I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
    He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .
    It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.'

    I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

    I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
    He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

    I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
    He said, 'Yes?'
    I said, 'Don, you're an ******* !'

    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.

    Then I came up with an idea.
    I called ******* #1.
    He said, 'Hello.'
    I said, 'You're an *******!'
    (But I didn't hang up.)

    He asked, 'Are you still there?'
    I said, 'Yeah.'
    He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
    I said, 'Make me.'
    He asked, 'Who are you?'

    I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
    He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
    I said, '*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

    He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.
    And you had better start saying your prayers.'
    I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******,' and hung up.

    Then I called ******* No. 2.
    He said, 'Hello?'
    I said, 'Hello, ******* .'
    He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
    I said, 'You'll what?'
    He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'
    I answered, 'Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fair fax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.

    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two *******s beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
    "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."

    Humphry Davy

  2. #2
    Orangetxguy's Avatar
    Orangetxguy is offline Senior Board Member Orangetxguy is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Orangetxguy is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Orangetxguy is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Orangetxguy is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Orangetxguy is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Orangetxguy is well-known and should trademark his/her name.
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    4,630

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlooMoose View Post
    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

    I found the number and dialed it.
    A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
    I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an *******!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an *******!'

    It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ******* calling would have to stop.

    So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

    He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.
    I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an *******!' and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW *******, too.

    I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
    He said, 'Yes, it is..'
    I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
    He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .
    It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.'

    I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

    I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
    He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

    I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
    He said, 'Yes?'
    I said, 'Don, you're an ******* !'

    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.

    Then I came up with an idea.
    I called ******* #1.
    He said, 'Hello.'
    I said, 'You're an *******!'
    (But I didn't hang up.)

    He asked, 'Are you still there?'
    I said, 'Yeah.'
    He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
    I said, 'Make me.'
    He asked, 'Who are you?'

    I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
    He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
    I said, '*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

    He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.
    And you had better start saying your prayers.'
    I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******,' and hung up.

    Then I called ******* No. 2.
    He said, 'Hello?'
    I said, 'Hello, ******* .'
    He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
    I said, 'You'll what?'
    He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'
    I answered, 'Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fair fax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.

    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two *******s beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.



    Now that was funny!!
    Space...............Is disease and danger, wrapped in darkness and silence! Star Trek2009

  3. #3
    Jackrabbit379's Avatar
    Jackrabbit379 is offline Board Icon Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Wichita Falls,Tx
    Posts
    7,100

    Default

    That was pretty good.

  4. #4
    Bug's Avatar
    Bug
    Bug is offline Member Bug is an unknown poster at this point.  Don't let him/her around power tools just yet.
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    ST. Louis,MO
    Posts
    63

    Default

    lol Good 1

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