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Thread: And then the fight started.....

  1. #1
    Windwalker's Avatar
    Windwalker is offline Board Icon
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Been there and gone...
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    6,276

    Default And then the fight started.....

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
    opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

    She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

    She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

    And then the fight started...
    ===============================================

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started...

    =============================================

    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

    And then the fight started...
    Destroy the cities...
    and they will rebuild them.
    Destroy the farms...
    and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

    Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
    and grass will grow in the executive offices.

    The bill has come due.
    ( R E T I R E D , and glad of it)


  2. #2
    Creek Jackson's Avatar
    Creek Jackson is offline Senior Board Member
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    Nov 2007
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    Montana
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    756

    Default

    Remember,,,,,,, If you eat a live frog first thing every morning, you can rest assured it will likely be the worst thing you will have to do all day.

  3. #3
    RebelDarlin's Avatar
    RebelDarlin is offline Senior Board Member
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    Jul 2007
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    2,501

    Default

    I like the first one the best.... :wink: :twisted:
    My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
    Thomas Jefferson- Democratic-Republican
    Responsibility is the ability to choose your response. Victims choose to be controlled by outside forces, Responsible people maintain control by making a choice.

  4. #4
    BlooMoose's Avatar
    BlooMoose is offline K-Mart Secret Shopper Senior Board Member
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    Aug 2008
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    Lubbock, Texas
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    1,045

    Default

    I love them all!

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