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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-09-2008, 11:01 PM
Windwalker's Avatar
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Been there and gone...
Posts: 4,522
Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
Default And then the fight started.....

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
===============================================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

=============================================

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...
__________________
Destroy the cities...
and they will rebuild them.

Destroy the farms...
and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
and grass will grow in the executive offices.

The bill has come due.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-09-2008, 11:54 PM
Creek Jackson's Avatar
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Out in Front, if not sleeping
Posts: 742
Creek Jackson is on the right path.  You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
Default

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Remember,,,,,,, If you eat a live frog first thing every morning, you can rest assured it will likely be the worst thing you will have to do all day.
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Old 08-10-2008, 12:14 AM
RebelDarlin's Avatar
Senior Board Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,431
RebelDarlin is on the right path.  You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
Default

I like the first one the best.... :wink: :twisted:
__________________
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
Thomas Jefferson- Democratic-Republican
That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and, hence, is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Abraham Lincoln - Republican
And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.
John F. Kennedy - Democrat
WTF happened?????
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Old 08-15-2008, 03:51 PM
BlooMoose's Avatar
K-Mart Secret Shopper
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Lubbock, Texas
Posts: 1,001
BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.BlooMoose is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
Default

I love them all!
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