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Thread: Government assistance

  1. #1
    Kranky's Avatar
    Kranky is offline Senior Board Member Kranky is on the right path.  You could probably safely loan them a quarter.
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,108

    Default Government assistance

    A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the
    Texas plains
    without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling
    through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when
    all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several
    yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand,
    and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out
    pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA
    (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.
    There's a calculator in her pocketbook.She has a pencil tucked behind
    one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... 'You know how I work....You
    have three wishes.' 'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy... 'I'm
    not going to trust a FEMA genie.' 'What do you have to lose? You've got
    no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!' The cowboy
    thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
    right. 'OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and
    drink.'***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis
    he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters
    of delicacies. 'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.' 'My second wish
    is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'***POOF*** The cowboy
    finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins
    and precious gems. 'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.
    Better make it a good one!' After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy
    says...'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and
    need me.'***POOF*** He was turned into a tampon. The moral of the
    story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a
    string attached.
    If you can't shift it smoothly, you shouldn't be driving it.

  2. #2
    Windwalker's Avatar
    Windwalker is offline Board Icon Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Been there and gone...
    Posts
    6,184

    Default Re: Government assistance

    Quote Originally Posted by Splitshifter
    The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.
    Up until you got to this part of it, I thought it would be "the woman" that would attach.... Oh, well... :wink:
    Destroy the cities...
    and they will rebuild them.
    Destroy the farms...
    and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

    Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
    and grass will grow in the executive offices.

    The bill has come due.
    ( R E T I R E D , and glad of it)


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