Government assistance

[Kranky]

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the
Texas plains
without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling
through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when
all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several
yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand,
and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out
pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA
(Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.
There's a calculator in her pocketbook.She has a pencil tucked behind
one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... 'You know how I work....You
have three wishes.' 'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy... 'I'm
not going to trust a FEMA genie.' 'What do you have to lose? You've got
no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!' The cowboy
thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
right. 'OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and
drink.'***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis
he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters
of delicacies. 'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.' 'My second wish
is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'***POOF*** The cowboy
finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins
and precious gems. 'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.
Better make it a good one!' After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy
says...'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and
need me.'***POOF*** He was turned into a tampon. The moral of the
story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a
string attached.

[Windwalker]

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.

Up until you got to this part of it, I thought it would be "the woman" that would attach.... Oh, well... :wink: