44 Years Of Marriage...

[rolldoc]

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my

wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap

apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-

inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a

hot 25-year-old gal.



Now I have a $500,000 house, $45,000 car, nice big bed and

plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It

seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."







My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and

find a hot 25-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would

once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car,

sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.




Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-

life crisis.

[RebelDarlin]

Your wife sounds like a VERY SMART woman. :wink:

[Windwalker]

Still in my corner...... :wink: waiting...

(At least I wasn't in a "round room" when I was told to go to my corner... That would have driven me NUTS trying to find one.)

[RebelDarlin]

Originally Posted by Windwalker

Still in my corner...... :wink: waiting...

(At least I wasn't in a "round room" when I was told to go to my corner... That would have driven me NUTS trying to find one.)

And what, pray tell, are you waiting for? :wink:

[lucky2]

The older you get the smarter you get !

[Kranky]

Last year on our anniversary I said to my wife "Well, now that I've done 24 years of my life sentence, when am I eligible for parole?"

She didn't see the humor in that.

[Windwalker]

Originally Posted by RebelDarlin

And what, pray tell, are you waiting for? :wink:

For someone to tell me that it's ok to come out and "bash" women again.... What else?

[shyykatt]

Originally Posted by Windwalker

For someone to tell me that it's ok to come out and "bash" women again.... What else?

U should try man-bashing instead, its way more fun :P

[Windwalker]

Originally Posted by shyykatt

U should try man-bashing instead, its way more fun :P

I see... Is that why women spend so much time doing it?

[shyykatt]

Well stop giving us reasons to!

[Drew10]

What did we do??? :shock: We didnt do nuttin'.... :?

[Windwalker]

edited

Sorry. I could not let that one go. That even went beyond my standards... Even at my very worst.-

[shyykatt]

Did you all not see the " " ?? I'm just bein' funny; Besides, I dont do much 'man bashing' anyway; I get along far better w/men than women- men are less whiney LOL (see,see, Im takin' your side now!) 8)

BTW Windwalker, I was thinkin' about putting together a list of "10 mistakes men make" or whatever, but I coulnt think of more than a couple things LOL

[Trukrswyfe]

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

He he he.....

Thought this went along well with this joke. :twisted:

[ct77]

For your 5th wedding aniversary you are supposed to buy a present made of wood for your spouse.

I was talking with some of the women I work with and they wanted to know what I was gonna buy my wife for our anniversary, without hesitating I told them..................A CASKET!!!!

[stardust3996]

Ever notice that when you are dating, the guy wants to walk around in the mall with you. After you're married, He absolutely HATES to go to town?

DON'T TAKE HIM IF HE DOESNT WANT TO GO:

Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to K -Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
boring and preferred to just get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter
from her local K-Mart.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past 6 months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on lay-by.

September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least ..

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here!"

Regards,
K-Mart

[stardust3996]

A young couple was taking an afternoon nap. After his wife woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"

"You shall know tonight," he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. She was so excited. Being so delighted, she opened the gift. She found a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."




Sounds about right.

[ct77]

Man Stardust I have not laughed that hard in a long time, K mart will never be the same again.