Another Blonde Joke

[Trukrswyfe]

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> A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come
> over here and help
> me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
> out how to get
> started.'
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> Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when
> it's finished?'
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> The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box,
> it's a rooster.'
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> Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the
> puzzle.
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> She lets him in and shows him where she has the
> puzzle spread all over
> the table.
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> He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the
> box, then turns to
> her and says,
>
> 'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
> to be able to
> assemble these pieces into anything resembling a
> rooster.'
>
> He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to
> relax. Let's have a
> nice cup of tea, and then ...' he said with a deep
> sigh, . .. . .. . .
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> 'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
>


Not sure how old this is. But it's cute.

[Drew10]

Not sure how old this is. But it's cute

Its old....but...it is a classic, and needs repeated from time to time...


Two Blondes walk into a building.......
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You would think one of them would have seen it!!!!

[Kranky]

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.
The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road,
carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

She takes out two cardboard men,
unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives.
The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde
of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer" says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures
doing here by the road?" he asks.
"Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde.
"Those are my emergency flashers!"

:twisted:

[Trukrswyfe]

Originally Posted by Splitshifter

A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.
The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road,
carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

She takes out two cardboard men,
unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives.
The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde
of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer" says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures
doing here by the road?" he asks.
"Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde.
"Those are my emergency flashers!"

:twisted:

Ilikeit..a..lot.

[Twilight Flyer]

Not all blondes are dumb. One that I know of had beaten the stereotype. She was a successful business woman, owned her own company, and drove a flashy car.

As a matter of fact, one sunny afternoon she left work early and jumped in her Corvette convertable and took off down the road, her long blonde hair flowing behind her in the summer wind. She drove out of town and was enjoying her drive down the road, oceans of summer wheat swaying in the breeze on both sides of her.

That's when she saw her...way out in the middle of one of the fields was another blonde...attempting to row a boat across the field. The smart blonde slammed on her brakes and jumped out of the car, clearly angry.

"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled at the blonde in the boat.

"Well, duh," said the other. "I'm rowing my boat across this ocean of wheat! What's it look like?!"

The smart blonde was livid and shook her fist in fury. "You know, it's idiots like you that give us blondes a bad name! Because of people like you, everybody thinks were stupid! And I swear, I'd come out there and teach you a lesson if I could swim!"

[Jumbo]

Another blonde gets tired of all the blonde jokes so she goes to the salon and gets her hair dyed black. She then gets in her car and drives to the country where she passes a farmer standing in a pasture staring at his cows. Sitting beside the farmer is the most beautiful dog the girl has ever seen. She stops and says to the farmer "If I can tell you how many cows you have in the field can I have your dog"? The farmers says "yes". The girl looks for a minute and says "214". The farmer is surprised and says "You are correct". The girl picks up the dog and puts it in the car. As she starts the car the farmer says "Young lady how did you know how many cows I had"? The girls replies "I counted the legs and devided by four" The farmer thens says "Young lady if I guess your real hair color can I have my sheep back"?

[Drew10]

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus are walking down the street. There is a 5 dollar bill laying on the ground....Which one picks it up?
...............................Highlight.......... ..........................................
( Daaaa..The dumb blonde....there is no such thing as the other two )

[Trukrswyfe]

Originally Posted by Drew10

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus are walking down the street. There is a 5 dollar bill laying on the ground....Which one picks it up?
...............................Highlight.......... ..........................................
( Daaaa..The dumb blonde....there is no such thing as the other two )

Neither?

:?: :?: :?

[Drew10]

Originally Posted by Trukrswyfe

[

Neither? ......??????.....
:?: :?: :?

Neither. :?: ..there is no neither...there are three smart/dumb/santa
the answer is in the para's. ...highlight it. :wink:

[Trukrswyfe]

I really should have been born blonde



But Im not :twisted: :twisted:

[Drew10]

Originally Posted by Trukrswyfe

I really should have been born blonde



But Im not :twisted: :twisted:

Did you want to be?????

[Trukrswyfe]

Thats a yes and no answer.

Yes I would like to but, probably if I was one I would want to be brunette again.


Content just as I am. :P

[Drew10]

Originally Posted by Trukrswyfe

Thats a yes and no answer.

Yes I would like to but, probably if I was one I would want to be brunette again.


Content just as I am. :P

As you should be...... :P

[Trukrswyfe]

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head st ewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

[stardust3996]

It's gonna take me a little while to come up with a good'n. I'll be back in a later. :idea:

[Kranky]

Didja hear about the Blonde who was running crazily thru the local grocery store stabbing boxes of Frosted Flakes with a butcher knife?

When questioned by police, the Blonde said she was trying to be a cereal killer.

[Trukrswyfe]

Originally Posted by Splitshifter

Didja hear about the Blonde who was running crazily thru the local grocery store stabbing boxes of Frosted Flakes with a butcher knife?

When questioned by police, the Blonde said she was trying to be a cereal killer.

[GTR SILVER]

Blonde in a Boat

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!"

:arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :shock: :shock: :wink: 8) 8)

[stardust3996]

A Japanese doctor says, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says, 'That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks.'

A British doctor says, 'In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks.'

The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, 'You guys are way behind. We are about to take a woman with no brains, put her in the White House, and then half the country will be out looking for work...