Rearing boys
Rearing boys
>
> a) For those with no children - this is totally
> hysterical!
> b) For those who already have children past this
> age, this is hilarious.
> c) For those who have children this age, this is not
> funny.
> d) For those who have children nearing this age,
> this is a warning.
> e) For those who have not yet had children, this is
> birth control.
> Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not
> kidding):
> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
> a 2000 sq. ft.
> house 4 inches deep.
> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
> over them with
> roller blades, they can ignite.
> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200
> adults in a crowded
> restaurant.
> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> motor is not strong
> enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman
> underwear and a Superman
> cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
> paint can, to spread
> paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the
> ceiling fan is on. When
> using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the
> ball up a few times
> before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
> baseball a long way.
> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
> stop a baseball hit
> by a ceiling fan.
> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
> oh", it's already
> too late.
> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
> lots of it.
> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
> rock even though a
> 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the
> movies.
> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
> tract of a 4-year
> old boy.
> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
> the same sentence.
> 12.) Super glue is forever.
> 13.) No matter how much J ell-O you put in a
> swimming pool you still
> can't walk on water.
> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even
> though TV commercials
> show they do.
> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> driving.
> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
> is.
> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
> plastic toys do not
> like ovens.
> 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a
> 5-minute response time.
> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
> make earthworms
> dizzy.
> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
> dizzy.
> 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the
> Clorox and brake
> fluid.
> 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their
> friends, with or
> without kids.
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DOESN'T WORK!
Originally Posted by RebelDarlin
:wink:
