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Thread: News Headlines

  1. #1
    Windwalker's Avatar
    Windwalker is offline Board Icon Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Been there and gone...
    Posts
    6,187

    Default News Headlines

    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia form er ly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels

    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss .

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers , screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.


    Now, send this to whomever you want to and as many as you want and guess what.... (and this is the best part) NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile.
    Destroy the cities...
    and they will rebuild them.
    Destroy the farms...
    and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

    Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
    and grass will grow in the executive offices.

    The bill has come due.
    ( R E T I R E D , and glad of it)


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