Wots wonderful world of weird sports

[wot i life]

Umbrella Jousting On Bicycles


No gentleman shall be allowed to take part in the games unless his umbrella is adorned with a Ladies colours.

Ladies may only favour one gentleman although gentlemen may approach however many ladies they desire for their colours.

Colours must contain pink as they are the ladies colours.

No Gentleman is allowed on to the field of play if he is wearing, displaying or has hidden on his person any pink garments.

Before Jousting, all gentlemen must open and close umbrellas three times in rapid succession whilst bellowing out his favoured ladies name.

Any gentleman calling a ladies name in a loud and raucous manner shall be asked to leave.

Bicycles must be inspected prior to jousting.

All bicycles must be fitted with bells

Any gentleman opening his umbrella whilst approaching his adversary will be immediately disqualified

Any and all gentlemen who are challenged by His Majesty King Hog IV must accept the joust and lose.

Any gentleman jousting His Majesty and perceived by His Majesty to have feigned his efforts shall be taken to the stocks and there, his undergarments removed, shall have a whirling bicycle wheel fitted with iron bristles thrust into the crevice of his derriere.

His Majesty shall consider all losers to have not tried

A joust is won when a gentleman is knocked from his bicycle to the ground, upon which he salutes the victor by crying "You cheating bastard, that umbrella is 9ft long! I demand a rematch"


Now whats YOUR sport?....


Over to you Hog

[Twilight Flyer]

Now that's funny!!

[Roadhog]

I see you're Jousting today. :? :P