Brain Cramps

[Trukrswyfe]

If you ever feel a little stupid, just dig this up and read it again;
you'll begin to think you're a genius.


(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is
why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help
but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death
and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson! for fan anti-smoking
campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.!
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC ,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,!


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the
one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and
water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix "
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice
that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your
circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville ,! South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed
and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?
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Here is one from one of my many ER visits. I am having a FULL Grand Mal Seizure in the room. The ER doctor comes in and goes I think you son to my mother does not have Epeliepsy this is after I was diagnosed by the best neurologists in the nation. Dr Sullivan ER Doc Streator IL by the way he is also a Lawyer I who defends medical malpractice cases I hear.