Bible Lessons

[Trukrswyfe]

Kid's Bible Lessons:

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of
the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and
left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class,

"If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,

"I think I'd throw up."

~**~**~**~**

STORY OF ELIJAH

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story
of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She
explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the
steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah
commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and
pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.

"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why
the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the
altar?"

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand,
"I know, I know," she said, "to make the gravy!"

~**~**~**~**

LOT'S WIFE

A Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife
looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny
interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once, while she was
DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into
a telephone pole!"

~**~**~**~**

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think
Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

~**~**~**~**

HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children,
"We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were
in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell
me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

~**~**~**~**

SUNDAY SCHOOL

Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had
learned in Sunday school.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of
Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers
build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.
Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and
all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his
mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd
never believe it!"

~**~**~**~**

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class
memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible;
Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse.

Little Bobby was excited about the task. But, he just couldn't
remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get
past the first verse.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23
in front of the whole congregation, Bobby was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and
said proudly,

"The Lord is my shepherd and that's all I need."
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