Dumb crooks of 2006
Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured
her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on
the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing
in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line,
he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising
from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the
harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it
was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
at Bank of America
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
mailed
in his $40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over
21
and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address
of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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