Why? ...Because I'm a man, of course.
Because I'm a man , when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA
is not an option. I will win.
__________________________________________________ _________________
Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop
the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple
of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
__________________________________________________ __________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
__________________________________________________ ________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
__________________________________________________ ________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
__________________________________________________ _________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my
hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a
whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by
holding a calculator instead (applies to engineers only)
__________________________________________________ ________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have
to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.
__________________________________________________ _________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if
you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least
remember the name and recommend it to others.
__________________________________________________ ________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine, with the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your ass
look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did
that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
__________________________________________________ _________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year
2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do
the rest. Like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering
what to do.
Reply With Quote