The Pirate Captain
My son told me this and I got a chuckle out of it.
The pirates were all at the bar celebrating their last conquest. The Pirate Captain happens to be a tough old salt with a peg leg, hook for a hand and an eye patch. The bartender takes notice of this and strikes up a conversation.
Barkeep: "Captain, how is it that you need a peg leg?".
Captain: "When I was younger I lost my leg to a mighty shark."
Barkeep: "And that hook. How did you come to need that?"
Captain: "A scurvy dog managed to hack me hand off before I sent him to Davy Jones Locker."
Barkeep: "And how did you lose your eye Captain?"
Captain: "Well, a seagull crapped in my eye".
Barkeep: "A seagull crapped in your eye? I didn't know that could blind you."
Captain: "Aye, it can't but it was my first day with that damn hook."
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