Top Ten List's
Top 10 Things NOT to Say to a Cop Who Just Pulled You Over
10. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
9. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (Okay in Texas)
8. Aren't you the guy from the village people?
7. Hey you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
6. Are you Andy or Barney?
5. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer
4. You're not gonna check the trunk. Are you?
3. I pay your salary!
2. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
And the Number ONE Thing You Should NOT Say to a Cop Who just Pulled You over...
1. When the officer says "Your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with "Gee officer your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Top Ten Signs Your New Car is a Lemon
10. Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty Garbage Bags.
9. The car reaches its optimum speed when going downhill.
8. The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new needle.
7. The rear-view mirror says, "Objects in Mirror Are Better Than This Piece of Junk."
6. The odometer on the dashboard is not as sophisticated as the everyday abacus.
5. Traffic Watch warns other drivers what highway you're taking.
4. The sticker on the windshield says, "Batteries Not Included."
3. You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coals.
2. You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet Pushing.
1. When you approach hitchhikers, they put their thumbs down.
and the best top 10 list saved for last =).
The Top Ten Inventions That Never Made It
10. The waterproof towel
9. Glow in the dark sunglasses
8. Solar powered flashlights
7, Submarine screen doors
6. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart boards
4. A dictionary index
3. Powdered water
2. Waterproof tea bags
And the Number ONE invention that never made it...
1. The helicopter ejector seat
8)
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