Even easier still....I call a cab, and wait a mere 45 minutes, and up pulls Raj OnlyonaMundi. He gets out to load my bags, and I tell him there are no bags. He says in the worst English ever..." But sairrr, arenae ye gonnae th' airport?"....I know...I know...he's Pakistani, but he grew up in Scootlund. I says no my good man....but you know these Pakistani Taxi Driver's...they just gotta argue with you.
So...we argue over why I am not taking any bags, and I guess about 30 minutes later...we finally get going.
" Ah Raj OnlyonaMundi will tak' ye th' safe roote an' ye sit back an' dornt fash yerse abit a hin'." says Raj... Then goes on to tell me all about his family, mostly his brother Rakidicki who works baggage at the Airport. I begin to notice this trip to the Airport is taking too long, and then notice we are way downtown and the Airport is way the hell back up near where I live...which is right on the end of the Runway.
So, we argue some more...and he finally convinces me that he is not running up the toll, but that there was an INS Checkpoint on the mainroute into the Airport. I said...well so what..I'm an American Citizen....but he assure me I looked more Canadian.
Well we finally get to the Airport and Raj goes to get my luggage. This time I screw with his mind and wave my arms wildly creating a scene about ...what have you done with my luggage. This starts drawing attendtion from the Airport Security, and all of a sudden Raj gets nervous and says he'll take an extra hundred off my bill, for the loss of my luggage. We argue over the tip though.
I head into the Airport Lobby...and demand to see the NSA Agent in charge. I faintly hear a Pakistani/Scottish accent yell..."He has a Bomb!"
I was surprized though to see how efficiently I recieved immediate attendtion, although I think one of the Security Guards slipped on the waxed floor, and knocked me down. Anyway...I was quickly escorted to the NSA Agents office. They kept searching me...but I reassured them I was not carring any luggage today. I was really here on an important mission.
I explained about how I was there to retrieve my "lost luggage" (hehehe...the prize) (I'm soooo crafty..hehehe)...and after hours of investigation they claim I was free to go. But I exclaimed I was still without my luggage.
...so I argued with the NSA Agent...(this was part of my plan) and he begged me to just go. I said only if they put
Sebby Ballesteros on the "no fly list." They wanted me to go so bad they didn't care what it took, so I got that part of my devilish plan accomplished. Now onto phase XIIb....ah you are confused if this is actually plan B and my scheme is weak...but I only am making you think that.
I go to baggage logistics and look for Rickidicki. Good God...he looks JUST like Raj. I really think it is Raj....but to be sure I get in an argument with him.
Okay...after an hour...I finally believe it isn't Raj...just trying to mess with me, but there is always a reasonable doubt. But since I am the defendant in this case....the burden of proof is really on him. And so far he has not given any real evidence..only hearsay.
Anyway...I hear on the intercom "Code Red." I being a stealthy guy...know that means there is a Security Scramble...and they are detaining Sebby. hehehehe....my plan is working perfectly. I slip Rickidicki a $50 CAD to give me the funny-looking suitcase with the straps and buckles and locks. He says...that isn't your luggage Sir. We argue about that...
and after a couple hours I break him down...."AHA....RAJ !!!!!"
Raj sobs and crys about how he didn't mean to loose my luggage. I say it's okay...but I could use a ride back home...and this time don't forget my luggage. So off we go. About an hour later ...I says...hey...I just live at the end of the Airport...what is taking so long? Raj gets indignant claiming how could I accuse him of running up the bill after all that we've been through. I'm not falling for that guilt trip :evil: so...we argue some more
............................... :arrow:
to be continued....
:shock: 
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