Red hat
An elderly lady is standing on the deck of a cruise liner in a blustering wind, she is clutching her red hat with both hands to prevent it from being blown away.
A very stuffy Englishman approaches her and says "Madam, Are you aware that your dress is blowing up quite highly in this wind?"
Yes, she replies.
But Madam, you are not wearing any panties and your privvies are on display, may I suggest you remove your hands from your hat and concentrate on correcting your dress?
Son... she says, anything you see down there is 87 years old; I just bought this hat yesterday!
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