2ND Brew War

[wot i life]

Now listen here DoubleL. I,m afraid we,ve suffered something of a slight reverse in your area old chap. We,re sending you an ingenious disguise via carrier pigeon and the enemy will never recognise you once you,re wearing it. So keep your chin up eh? Oh, and if you do happen to be captured and suffer some awful torture or what not, do please remember to be polite eh? One simply cannot fall to the enemies level eh? There,s a good sort. Toodle pip

[Double L]

Ahhhhhhhhh hell what did I get myself into, but if it's for the tea forces to win the war then I'll do whatever it takes!

[Jackrabbit379]

HOW!
How, there mr chief. Hire ya doin!
You got whiskey? Smoke?
Naw, we aint got no whiskey. Here's a ceegar.
We had some feller from Scottsland, er somethin nother that we picked up along the trail..
In fact, we got some of his tea. It aughta sprouce you up.

[Double L]

Well horse feathers! The wabbit strikes again

[Roadhog]

We're beefing up our patrols, 'cuz we can sense the Tea Alliance is planning a sneak attack.


Increasing our Spy Plane surveillance.


...and preparing our Troops for anything they could throw at us.
Last time we had to jump through Fire Hoops and we were ill prepared
...but not this time!! :evil:

[Slimland]

Awww don't listen to him...okay he ain't sayin' nuthin' anna ways...
he's always GOOD for nuthin' mean BAD and UGLY like that.

Try http://www.joe-ks.com/image_filesA.htm There are sites like this all over the net.
Actually, pretty much any image you find on the net, right click on it, and
click "save picture as", and choose to save it in your picture folder.

Some images are protected. Many now are using software that prevents you from right clicking and saving.

If you have someone in particular you want photos of
...like Good Bad and Ugly Clint up there
...type Clint Eastwood photos on your search engine, and you will get
sites for photos. Or any thing you have an interest in.
...like...
Tractors.
Farmer looking for a wife. Must own a Tractor. Send photo of Tractor.

Cof...COF....COFFEE

...sorry...I had a fly in my throat. COFFEE.. COF..COFFEE!!

Thanks again Hog, You have taught me much.
I will join soon need to stock up first.

Slimland

[Roadhog]

I love the smell of coffee in the morning. It smells like Victory!

This Soldier is drinking his coffee and deliberately closed off from the outside world, haunted by his liquor-induced memories of the choppers, gunfire and the war. We all prepare ourselves for another relentless attack by the insidious dark forces of evil... those stinkin' Tea Rebels.

One reveals that he is desperately "waiting for a mission" and praying to get back into the Tea Alliance wilderness. We can taste the bitterness each man has in his throat. We could all be home, grinding our beans on our own time. The civilian life seems all but a dim smear like a skid mark on poorly washed shorts from a Korean Laundry. All we want now is to fight.

Fuji. Sheit! I'm still only on the beaches of Fuji with half naked nubile native women littering the place, like Hugh Hefner's Palace spa. Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle. I'm here a week now. I'm waiting for a mission - getting softer. Every minute I stay on this beach languishing in the arms of some native hot babe named Nym, I get weaker. And every minute "Tea" squats in the bush, he gets stronger.

Because there's a conflict in every human heart between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil, between coffee and tea. And good does not always triumph. Sometimes the Dark Side overcomes what Lincoln called 'the better angels of our nature.' Therein, man has got a breaking point. I know I have reached mine. And very obviously, you will go insane as well.

[Roadhog]

eerrrrrrrrr putt eeeeeeerrrrrrrrr putt EERRRRRR PUTT PUTT EEERRRRRRRRR SPUTTEREEEERRRRRRRR PUTT SPUTTER EEERRRRRRR PUTT EEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

What the hell is THAT?
What?...oh that... that's our Spy Plane Sir. He must be returning from a Surveillance Mission.
You can hear that clown from 20 miles away!
Yes Sir. Might account for the Tea Alliance always sitting around StarBucks umbrellas, on the flight videos.


EEEEEEERRRRRRRR PUTT FLUTTER SPUT EERRRR SPIT EEERRRRRRRR PUCKA EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR COF SPUT COF COF................


sssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS spttle SSSSSSSSSSS spittle SSSSSS

Now WHAT?
I don't know... either out of fuel, or the fuel line is plugged again...Sir.


SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS sputter SSSSSSSSSSSS sputter sputter putt fit fit FIT
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmflutter eeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sput eeeerrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr putt eeeeeeeeerrrrr







fit fit fizzle chucka pshhhhh spittle pooter

[wot i life]

Silently,in the dead of night, a Tea Army stealth bomber draws ever closer to Coffee airspace. Safe in the knowledge that his arrival will be completely undetected, he lowers his pants to relieve himself(His flight from Scotland had taken 5 months :shock: )
Arrrrghhh a fatal mistake!
He had completely forgotten that he was wearing shorts with a fluorescent name tag on them(His Great Aunt Matilda did worry a lot about such things; Its quite awful to lose ones pants is it not?)
Oh dear oh dear. Had his tag lit up the night sky? Had those wretched Coffee forces been alerted?
Could the BIG PUSH go ahead?
Stay tuned!





Edited by wot for a plainly self raising spelling error.....

[Double L]

I think Wot assigned to that mission! :shock:

[Roadhog]

Silently,in the dead of night, a Tea Army stealth bomber draws ever closer to Coffee airspace. Safe in the knowledge that his arrival will be completely undetected, he lowers his pants to relieve himself(His flight from Scotland had taken 5 months :shock: )
Arrrrghhh a fatal mistake!
He had completely forgotten that he was wearing shorts with a flourescent name tag on them(His Great Aunt Matilda did worry a lot about such things; Its quite awful to lose ones pants is it not?)
Oh dear oh dear. Had his tag lit up the night sky? Had those wretched Coffee forces been alerted?

Core Strewth wouldja lookit that! Up in the sky...It's ah bloody 6 foot Fire Fly!! Bugger me!!

IT IS AN OMEN!..said the Coffee Wizard.
That light comes from the GREEN TEA DRAGON !
War is upon us. Wake all the men.

Hog lies asleep amidst scrubby bushes near a
stagnant pool.

Smeagol lies nearby, muttering in his sleep.
"Too risky, too risky. The thieves! They
stole it from us. Kill them . . . kill them
... kill them all!"
His foot twitching like a dog dreaming of chasing rabbits.

Smeagol wakes suddenly, shaking, his face drenched in SWEAT,
eyes wide in horror.
"NOOOoooo It's The Green Tea Dragon of Edinburghski!
Ohhhh my PRECIOUS... MY PRECIOUS!"

The Battle of the Alliance is near upon us.
With my minds eye..I see attack by Tea Orcs from Moria on Lothlórien, said the Coffee Wizard.
WE MUST GO NOW!

[Roadhog]

Back at Camp Cappuccino, new recruits are training vigorously.
Once they make it through Boot Camp, they will go to special ops training,
and only the best of the best will be selected for advanced training,
such as the evolution shown above. A tactic known as Warfare Flying V.
This stunning show of superiority often overwhelms the enemy into
applause and surrender. Ultimately we convert enemy combatants and
garner more support for this War from the Coffee drinking community,
assuring us a never ending War.

[Roadhog]

Supplies are desperately needed for our Troops to the North.
The supplies have been cut off by Insurgent Attacks from Tea Gorillas, and
local Supply Dumps have been severely raided.
Please donate at your local Beer Distributor for the Troops today!

Thank you,
Dogius Apetitius Giganticus
Supreme Commander, Coffee Coalition.

[Jackrabbit379]

Oh yeah. I can see it now, Sheriff. You clean up this town, and then, you can be Governor. Living in that big house, and sippin tea!

Say what! Man, is you crazy?! I dont do dat!

You dont do what? Hang out with white people?

Naw man. Sippin tea. I wouldnt touch the stuff. I like my coffee. Sweet, and hot. Just like the way I like my ladies.

[Slimland]

After the night of the party, Wot and Hog, asked Slim to teach them How to control there anger, and fight better, by using there minds to controll there feelings.. they paid Slim a good sum of money..
Slim wanting to be in the war, but in a fix cause he drinks both coffee and tea, and likes both equaly, at least could help the kill eachother.



First we teach how to handle etreem temps



Then I teached them the art of hard head


Then I tought them not to fear death, but welcome it



There Flexability was needing some improvment so


After we hanged around for a while


I was satisfied, Hog had master the art of wall walking


And Wot mastered the finger lift





I need to learn to tell better stories.

Slimland

[Roadhog]

Thank you Master Slim...
Hope you also enjoy the watermelons, we sent you!

[Mack2]

Times have been hard here on the front lines for the Pepsi Legion. The Tea Navy has blockaded the harbor and cut our caffine supplys off we are despertly in need of help.

[Slimland]

Times have been hard here on the front lines for the Pepsi Legion. The Tea Navy has blockaded the harbor and cut our caffine supplys off we are despertly in need of help.

As Mack2 of the Pepsi legion calls for assistance. The Dr.Pepper Coalition intercepts the call.. "Now the War is on, we may now enter it. For our worst eniemee is afoot.. ATTACK!"

with those words we send in the battleships and in the process shoot down one of the Pepsi Legion's plane. This will get there attention!

[Roadhog]

BEEP (static whistle)(Breaker one niner) Awah...NOW ya gone and done it! :evil:
Mess with one of my Allies...
All I can say Dr. Pepper...is you must be a Proctologist. :P

I'm 150 miles out, so I've just come into range. Kiss it goodbye Doc!
(AIM-54 Phoenix 1-2-3-4 and-5 ARMED and Targeted...I've got TONE!...I've got TONE!...ENGAGE-ENGAGE- FIRING!!
- MISSILES ARE LOCKED!..5--TRACKING! 5--ON TARGET !)
By the time you receive this message, you'll have exactly 2 seconds to grab your last ass...Doc ! :twisted: Rodger BEEP
(Devil Leader..Hog has released PHOENIX..I've gone VERTICAL to ANGELS 5 to release HELLFIRE
..Weapons are on target..I have 5 on Target... I HAVE JOY..repeat...I HAVE JOY!!..CONFIRMING...5 TARGETS Confidence is High!!)

[Slimland]

As The Coffee coalition insist on wage ing War on the Dr.Peper Coalition. As Hog's Anger makes him not pay attention to his surrounding's untill it is too late.. Hog thinking ( What, why arn't they getting into battle position's?--What is that in the sky comming my way :? Why is it getting dark? Oh-Sh-t).

Should've scoped it out, now ya done it and woke up somethin you didn't want to wake up. Hope you dont make me pull out any other secret weapons!

This is what Hog see's on the Dr.pepper Coalition.