Jeff Foxworthy on WISCONSIN
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each
year because ParkFalls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live
in Wisconsin.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy," you
might live in Wisconsin.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett," you might live
in Wisconsin.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing
bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters,....you might
live in Wisconsin.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on
the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings
and funerals ).
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend
knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Blain's Farm & Fleet
at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction.
17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.
19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
20. You know how to polka.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
blue spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you means Illinois.
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
26. You go out to a fish fry every Friday.
27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by yoopr
