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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-07-2006, 03:00 PM
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Default Guaranteed to beat a speeding A Ticket.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
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Old 10-23-2006, 09:39 AM
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I gotta try that one day :twisted:
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Old 10-23-2006, 09:50 AM
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Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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Well, then here's another one for you to try. It might even work better.

A Wisconsin State Trooper pulled over a car with a woman driving. As the officer approached the car, the woman said: "I KNOW... YOU'RE GOING TO SELL ME TICKETS TO THE WISCONSIN STATE TROOPER'S BALL".

The officer answered: "MA'AM, WISCONSIN STATE TROOPERS DO NOT HAVE BALLS."

When the woman in the car started laughing, the trooper realized what he said, turned back to his squad and left. It was another 15 minutes before the woman was able to stop laughing enough to be able to start her car and leave.


(True story)
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Destroy the farms...
and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
and grass will grow in the executive offices.

The bill has come due.
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Old 10-23-2006, 10:00 AM
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Lmao :P :twisted: you so bad lol
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Old 10-23-2006, 10:03 AM
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I'm glad I started coming back around here . I been reading and catching up on things and laughing so hard my ribs are killing me now lol Its good to see you Windwalker
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Old 10-23-2006, 12:57 PM
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Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel
I'm glad I started coming back around here . I been reading and catching up on things and laughing so hard my ribs are killing me now lol Its good to see you Windwalker
Good to see you too. I've been wondering where you went.

Guess it really doesn't matter, you're back. At least for now.
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Destroy the cities...
and they will rebuild them.

Destroy the farms...
and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
and grass will grow in the executive offices.

The bill has come due.
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Old 10-24-2006, 02:42 AM
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Well hun hubby got job with Wh and then we had to move into town and my mom died Aug 12 and when I get free time seems like I am usually so tired I just wanna sleep when you have a 2 yr old running around 24/7 you tend to get more exhausted lol if I could only bottle her energy the money we could make lol but I am trying to come back a little more when she will let me
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