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Thread: Have any kids? Might want to listen to this Lol.

  1. #1
    Random_Facts is offline Senior Board Member Random_Facts is an unknown poster at this point.  Don't let him/her around power tools just yet.
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    Default Have any kids? Might want to listen to this Lol.

    23 Dangerous Child Facts

    1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

    2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

    3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

    4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

    5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

    6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

    7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

    8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

    9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

    10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

    11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

    12. Super glue is forever.

    13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

    14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

    15. VCR's do not eject PB & Jam sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do.

    16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

    18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

    19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

    20. The local fire department has a 5-minute response time.

    21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

    22. It will however make cats dizzy.

    23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

  2. #2
    JR OTR is offline Member JR OTR is an unknown poster at this point.  Don't let him/her around power tools just yet.
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    Default Re: Have any kids? Might want to listen to this Lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Random_Facts
    23 Dangerous Child Facts

    1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
    Do a little math before you post crap like that here, please. A king size waterbed can't fill a 10x20 room four inches deep much less a house 10x that size.

  3. #3
    Twilight Flyer's Avatar
    Twilight Flyer is offline The Bat Cave Board Icon Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name.
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    Default

    Dude, it's a joke. And it's funny. Lighten up a bit.

  4. #4
    Windwalker's Avatar
    Windwalker is online now Board Icon Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Windwalker is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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    Default

    And, be sure not to try any of these at home.....
    Destroy the cities...
    and they will rebuild them.
    Destroy the farms...
    and grass will grow in the streets of the cities.

    Destroy the economy of the blue-collar worker...
    and grass will grow in the executive offices.

    The bill has come due.
    ( R E T I R E D , and glad of it)


  5. #5
    Twilight Flyer's Avatar
    Twilight Flyer is offline The Bat Cave Board Icon Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name. Twilight Flyer is well-known and should trademark his/her name.
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    Default

    My kids have tried a few of those. Heck, I think I've tried a few of them.

  6. #6
    PhuzzyGnu is offline Board Regular PhuzzyGnu is an unknown poster at this point.  Don't let him/her around power tools just yet.
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    Default

    Actually, a king size waterbed might fill a 2000 sqaure foot house about .14" deep.

    (yes I'm bored)

    -p.

  7. #7
    Jackrabbit379's Avatar
    Jackrabbit379 is offline Board Icon Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street. Jackrabbit379 is a distinguished poster and probably helps little old ladies across the street.
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    Well,the one about the 3 year old being louder,than a crowded restraunt....man,that aint no lie :shock:

  8. #8
    Random_Facts is offline Senior Board Member Random_Facts is an unknown poster at this point.  Don't let him/her around power tools just yet.
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackrabbit379
    Well,the one about the 3 year old being louder,than a crowded restraunt....man,that aint no lie :shock:
    Or worse, You have a long day, you just want to get home like now (yesterday even). You get a flight you're like ok whew I'm safe, Next thing you know a baby is behide you and is Crying there head off. Now that's Just Crazy right there lol. Not me I perfer to drive anyday... =D

  9. #9
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    heavenbound is offline Moderator Senior Board Member heavenbound is an unknown poster at this point.  Don't let him/her around power tools just yet.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackrabbit379
    Well,the one about the 3 year old being louder,than a crowded restraunt....man,that aint no lie :shock:
    Try one that burps out loud and everyone turns and looks at us (cause it was a good one) i said good girl but not in public, then my wife hits me upside the head and says "she get's that from you".

    I'll never forget that evening out. Daddy's little girl.
    In all thy ways, acknowledge him.

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