View Full Version : Tips to help you look like a pro
Fredog
10-19-2009, 12:56 AM
always drive in the middle lane no matter what your speed. Let the amateurs find a way around you
When a veteran trucker offers advice, always say “that’s not how I was taught to do it.”
Never park in a marked space at a truckstops, these spaces are for amateurs, pros make their own spots.
If there is no place to make a spot, then park at the fuel pump.
If someone asks you on the cb to please move out of the middle lane, call them names and say things like
“you drive your truck and I’ll drive mine” this shows the other guy that you are a pro
If you want to pass and you see a truck coming up fast on your left, hurry up and cut over in front of him before he has a chance to get by, then after you take 5 miles to pass, wait until you get at least 50 truck lengths ahead and then get back over
NEVER give up on a pass just because traffic is backed up 2 miles behind you, this would make it look like you are afraid
If you are in the truck being passed, NEVER slow down to allow the other guy to get by, maintain your speed, it is really helpful if you can get up more speed going downhill and make him start all over again, this shows that you are a real pro and cant be pushed around
If you are pulling doubles, always weave back and forth between lanes to discourage the amateurs from trying to pass you
When you stop to eat, after taking a crap NEVER wash your hands, just go straight to the buffet
When a truck gets over to let you merge onto the interstate, don’t let him back over, try your best to out run him, if you cant do it after 5 or 6 miles, then it is okay to let him over
When being passed at night, always watch the passing trucks right mirror, when you see the driver look in it, turn your brights on, leave them on for 10 to 15 seconds to be sure he sees them
When driving in rain or snow or ice and you see other truckers taking it slow and easy, just maintain your speed and make fun of how scared they are. If you go in the ditch, tell the cop a truck ran you off the road
NEVER turn your lights on until it is totally dark, no since wasting good bulbs, marker lights are enough in the dusk and rain and snow and look cool
Every now and then share some of your music over the cb, this shows everyone that you really are a pro
If you are turning in and see a truck coming out, never wait for him, he will think you are an amateur and dont know how to turn, if he can drive, he can figure out how to make it
After you fuel, pull up and leave your truck parked there for at least 30 minutes, this is what pros do
When pulling in a weigh station and the green light is on, always stop on the scale and wait for someone on the cb to tell you to go
If the weigh station says maintain 45 mph, go 15. if it says 15 mph, go 40
NEVER slow down for construction zones, if your truck is governed, your foot should be on the floor at all times
If your truck isn’t governed just maintain whatever speed you were going. Only newbies slow down
These are just a few tips to help you look like a true modern day professional truck driver
Everyone is welcome to add to the list
Malaki86
10-19-2009, 01:31 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I was thinking of about 2/3rds of that this morning
Mackman
10-19-2009, 02:30 AM
Funny stuff right there :lol::lol:
vavega
10-19-2009, 02:30 AM
do all the above with a cell phone planted in your left ear, because a pro doesn't need a headset. :roll3:
sorry guys, that's my pet peeve :thumbsdown:
BHG0069
10-19-2009, 02:30 AM
lol its so sad, every week I encounter 90% of those.
hahahahaha. Good post.
When in the bathroom to go pee, never use the urinal. Use the toilet and leave the seat down. Pro's go all over the seat and never clean it up.
When in a truckstop backing into a slot, never start over no matter how long it takes or how many trucks are stacked up to try and get pass you. Pro's take their time and let everyone wait and watch how good they are.
Snowman7
10-19-2009, 03:49 AM
Lets not forget running the *** lights for no reason other than to look cool.
Good job fredog that was hilarious!:rofl:
chromewheelz
10-19-2009, 05:55 AM
Thats freakin hilarious!!!!
Good one, Fredog. :thumbsup:
allan5oh
10-19-2009, 04:21 PM
If you are in the truck being passed, NEVER slow down to allow the other guy to get by, maintain your speed, it is really helpful if you can get up more speed going downhill and make him start all over again, this shows that you are a real pro and cant be pushed around
This happens to me all the time in Wisconsin, I'm the truck being passed. I don't understand why light trucks always try to pass heavy trucks on the downhill side. Or better yet get to the top going 2 mph faster, and cut over right when I start to gain speed.
I always try to maintain my speed(not speed up too much downhill). But if there's no other traffic what's the point? I had one guy get upset with me because he started to pass me. Even before then I had the jake on full. Even with that I started gaining on him when he was just past my bumper. Boy did he get upset.
He thought I was playing games so I told him I was fully loaded and even had the jake on. Oh well.
It's pretty obvious when I'm fully loaded you can see the damn freight on the trailer. But it still happens. My truck rolls downhill easier then 95% of the trucks out there. I can catch up to loaded trucks when I'm only 60-70% of their weight.
Kevin0915
10-19-2009, 05:16 PM
And don't forget to get on your CB and complain about 4-wheelers driving habbits, because you know everybody knows how good a pro you are in a big truck, you'd never drive that stupid behind a vehicle with just 4 wheels.
Syncrosonix
10-19-2009, 06:09 PM
ignore the "road closed" sign. you're a pro and don't need directions for a proper detour.
classicxl
10-19-2009, 06:30 PM
those are good
fl_char
10-19-2009, 08:00 PM
I must say I really enjoyed ready these...Made my day mch better.
millersod215
10-19-2009, 09:37 PM
I would like to add one to this, i thouroughly enjoy when drivers help me "practice" my passing skills, fly by me doing 75 then get in front of me and slow to 60, this gives me the perfect opportunity to take my slowly governed truck out in the left lane and show you that i know how to pass as well, I prefer that we do this atleast 10 to 20 miles at a time just to make sure I've got the hang of it. And one more thing, if you could make sure that you're truck is from somewhere around the border of Mexico, not any newer than a 96, preferably a FLD120 with a front bumper hanging on by a thread, that would be greatly appreciated, i love the anticipation of a bumper falling off at 70mph, makes for good times..........
Skywalker
10-20-2009, 02:54 AM
Ooooh, oooooh, one of my favorites is the "pro-driver" aka "bigtimeloser*********moron" that insists on taking his cellphone into a stall in a rest room and talking to his "sweetie".... I don't know about you....but I prefer taking a dump without listening to some "yahoo" talking to his "main squeeze"..... Is nothing sacred anymore?
freebirdrfd
10-20-2009, 03:24 AM
Ooooh, oooooh, one of my favorites is the "pro-driver" aka "bigtimeloser*********moron" that insists on taking his cellphone into a stall in a rest room and talking to his "sweetie".... I don't know about you....but I prefer taking a dump without listening to some "yahoo" talking to his "main squeeze"..... Is nothing sacred anymore?
I'm just wondering if he can see the toilet paper dispenser with his phone to his ear. :lol2:
Kranky
10-20-2009, 11:43 AM
I'm just wondering if he can see the toilet paper dispenser with his phone to his ear. :lol2:
Not if the dispenser is on his left.:lol:
Jumbo
10-20-2009, 05:21 PM
I'm just wondering if he can see the toilet paper dispenser with his phone to his ear. :lol2:
Lock the thread!! We are not going to get a funnier line then that.
P A Frederick
10-20-2009, 07:00 PM
Don't forget:
When on foot (which should be least often as possible) make sure you walk out in front of trucks driving through the parking lot. They have to slam on their brakes to stop for you, you're a pro, their not.
When in the truck drive 50 mph through the truckstop parking lot. Those wusses trying to get inside or into a spot have to stop for a pro like you.
Take showers as little as possible. People can tell by your smell you're a pro.
Find something to complain about at every full service restaraunt. It doesn't matter what it is or if you're consistent, you're a pro and they should treat you as such. Also never tip after making a commotion about stupid stuff, they should tip you since you're a pro.
Walk out on the tab whenever possible and make the watress who's making $2 an hour pay for your meal. She owes it to a pro such as yourself.
Don't ever wait in line with the other, non pro drivers at a shipper/consignee. Rush to the front and demand they take you right then, even if your appointment is 3 hours from now or was 3 hours ago. You deserve to be loaded/unloaded before everyone else. Cursing and screaming will help solidify the fact that you are indeed a pro.
Whine and complain about every company out there except the one you work for (cause it's perfect) on every Internet message board, coffee shop, and on the cb. In three months when you decide to change jobs again (or are fired) promptly go to same locations and complain about how they are the worst in the business. Find another perfect job, repeat.
VPIDarkAngel
10-21-2009, 12:04 AM
Don't forget:
When on foot (which should be least often as possible) make sure you walk out in front of trucks driving through the parking lot. They have to slam on their brakes to stop for you, you're a pro, they're not.
That first one happened to me this morning at Princeton, WV. It was a SuddenLink employee who stepped out in front of me, my truck, and 34,000lbs. of cheap junk. Not 30 minutes after this, one of his co-workers in a pickup pulls right out in front of a Valley Proteins tractor-trailer. The moron in the pickup was on his cell phone, too.
Here's another few.
When pulling up to the guard shack at a customer, take the truck out of gear and coast, especially when you're right behind someone in line. Also, shut off the engine before applying the parking brake (if at all). A 'pro' can keep the truck stopped without brakes. (Yes, this just happened to me at the distribution center this evening... Yes, he was on his cell phone too.)
When backing, never use the four-ways, never alert anyone behind you that you're about to back up on the CB (if there's anyone there), and never, EVER, under any circumstances, get out and look. (The same cell phone wielding idiot pulled that same stunt on the yard while I was inspecting my trailer.)
Kevin0915
10-21-2009, 01:48 AM
That first one happened to me this morning at Princeton, WV. It was a SuddenLink employee who stepped out in front of me, my truck, and 34,000lbs. of cheap junk. Not 30 minutes after this, one of his co-workers in a pickup pulls right out in front of a Valley Proteins tractor-trailer. The moron in the pickup was on his cell phone, too.
Here's another few.
When pulling up to the guard shack at a customer, take the truck out of gear and coast, especially when you're right behind someone in line. Also, shut off the engine before applying the parking brake (if at all). A 'pro' can keep the truck stopped without brakes. (Yes, this just happened to me at the distribution center this evening... Yes, he was on his cell phone too.)
When backing, never use the four-ways, never alert anyone behind you that you're about to back up on the CB (if there's anyone there), and never, EVER, under any circumstances, get out and look. (The same cell phone wielding idiot pulled that same stunt on the yard while I was inspecting my trailer.)
After a year of being on the road, i have YET to hear anybody get on the CB and say, "excuse me everyone, i'm about to back up...." I've heard other drivers warn the driver backing up some guy is rounding the corner coming out of the fuel island at 30mph, or when another driver stops and stops the traffic behind him to allow another driver to back into their spot.
Fredog
10-21-2009, 02:19 AM
Don't forget:
When on foot (which should be least often as possible) make sure you walk out in front of trucks driving through the parking lot. They have to slam on their brakes to stop for you, you're a pro, their not.
When in the truck drive 50 mph through the truckstop parking lot. Those wusses trying to get inside or into a spot have to stop for a pro like you.
Take showers as little as possible. People can tell by your smell you're a pro.
Find something to complain about at every full service restaraunt. It doesn't matter what it is or if you're consistent, you're a pro and they should treat you as such. Also never tip after making a commotion about stupid stuff, they should tip you since you're a pro.
Walk out on the tab whenever possible and make the watress who's making $2 an hour pay for your meal. She owes it to a pro such as yourself.
Don't ever wait in line with the other, non pro drivers at a shipper/consignee. Rush to the front and demand they take you right then, even if your appointment is 3 hours from now or was 3 hours ago. You deserve to be loaded/unloaded before everyone else. Cursing and screaming will help solidify the fact that you are indeed a pro.
Whine and complain about every company out there except the one you work for (cause it's perfect) on every Internet message board, coffee shop, and on the cb. In three months when you decide to change jobs again (or are fired) promptly go to same locations and complain about how they are the worst in the business. Find another perfect job, repeat.
When in the truck drive 50 mph through the truckstop parking lot. and make SURE the jake is on high
Malaki86
10-21-2009, 02:40 AM
When in the truck drive 50 mph through the truckstop parking lot. and make SURE the jake is on high
But ONLY if you have straight pipes. Pro's don't drive trucks with mufflers.
This also goes for when driving through residential area's at 2am.
VPIDarkAngel
10-21-2009, 03:07 AM
After a year of being on the road, i have YET to hear anybody get on the CB and say, "excuse me everyone, i'm about to back up...." I've heard other drivers warn the driver backing up some guy is rounding the corner coming out of the fuel island at 30mph, or when another driver stops and stops the traffic behind him to allow another driver to back into their spot.
While I admit that it's rare, it does happen, on occasion. I'm pretty sure I've done it a time or two, just to avoid confusion and collisions, but that's mostly in really crowded places, like the Troutville T/A.
Fredog
10-21-2009, 02:58 PM
This happens to me all the time in Wisconsin, I'm the truck being passed. I don't understand why light trucks always try to pass heavy trucks on the downhill side. Or better yet get to the top going 2 mph faster, and cut over right when I start to gain speed.
I always try to maintain my speed(not speed up too much downhill). But if there's no other traffic what's the point? I had one guy get upset with me because he started to pass me. Even before then I had the jake on full. Even with that I started gaining on him when he was just past my bumper. Boy did he get upset.
He thought I was playing games so I told him I was fully loaded and even had the jake on. Oh well.
It's pretty obvious when I'm fully loaded you can see the damn freight on the trailer. But it still happens. My truck rolls downhill easier then 95% of the trucks out there. I can catch up to loaded trucks when I'm only 60-70% of their weight.
The best thing to do in this case, is just slow down and let him go, he will spend all day ( or night)trying to pass you and everyone will be cussing both of you
Flatbed
10-21-2009, 04:41 PM
Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.
I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.
Malaki86
10-21-2009, 04:44 PM
Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.
I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.
What do you mean? I thought everyone was a truck driver just as a cover in the covert ops world like me.
Kevin0915
10-21-2009, 07:35 PM
This happens to me all the time in Wisconsin, I'm the truck being passed. I don't understand why light trucks always try to pass heavy trucks on the downhill side. Or better yet get to the top going 2 mph faster, and cut over right when I start to gain speed.
I always try to maintain my speed(not speed up too much downhill). But if there's no other traffic what's the point? I had one guy get upset with me because he started to pass me. Even before then I had the jake on full. Even with that I started gaining on him when he was just past my bumper. Boy did he get upset.
He thought I was playing games so I told him I was fully loaded and even had the jake on. Oh well.
It's pretty obvious when I'm fully loaded you can see the damn freight on the trailer. But it still happens. My truck rolls downhill easier then 95% of the trucks out there. I can catch up to loaded trucks when I'm only 60-70% of their weight.
Hmmmm....jakes on, fully loaded so you refuse to brush the brakes a little more, yep...you're a pro. Lighter truck is going to be faster, so why not, at the top of said hill BEFORE you start to gain speed, let the faster/passing truck back over?? I know, because real pros dont use the brake pedal, they'd rather make an unsafe condition on the road when the PROFESSIONAL thing is to just (protect your virgin ears) slow down a mile or two an hour for 10-15 seconds. If you still find yourself gaining on the faster truck going downhill, then by all means pass him/her back.
what gets me are how so many drivers get all butt-hurt because they cannot fathom the idea of slowing down for a few seconds. They'd rather not only p!ss off the passing driver, but the dozen or so 4-wheelers who now are backed up in traffic. Nice job, Pro.
golfhobo
10-21-2009, 07:37 PM
While I admit that it's rare, it does happen, on occasion. I'm pretty sure I've done it a time or two, just to avoid confusion and collisions, but that's mostly in really crowded places, like the Troutville T/A.
Forget the CB.... THAT place needs 'ground control radar!' :eek2:
There are two ways to go around that parking lot.... and NEITHER will allow you a good setup to back into a spot! :pissedoff:
(Which, of course, is why all the PROs park by the pumps and block the exit! :lol2:
golfhobo
10-21-2009, 07:41 PM
Hmmmm....jakes on, fully loaded so you refuse to brush the brakes a little more, yep...you're a pro.
Lighter truck is going to be faster, so why not, at the top of said hill BEFORE you start to gain speed, let the faster/passing truck back over??
I know, because real pros dont use the brake pedal, they'd rather make an unsafe condition on the road when the PROFESSIONAL thing is to just (protect your virgin ears) slow down a mile or two an hour for 10-15 seconds. If you still find yourself gaining on the faster truck going downhill, then by all means pass him/her back.
what gets me are how so many drivers get all butt-hurt because they cannot fathom the idea of slowing down for a few seconds. They'd rather not only p!ss off the passing driver, but the dozen or so 4-wheelers who now are backed up in traffic. Nice job, Pro.
OMG!!! And they gave this guy a CDL??? :eek1::eek2::hellno:
1catfish
10-22-2009, 12:32 AM
how about hitting 7 or 8 gears before clearing the fuel pumps!:hellno:
Fredog
10-22-2009, 01:13 AM
OMG!!! And they gave this guy a CDL??? :eek1::eek2::hellno:
I fail to see anything wrong with this post
and yes, they gave me a cdl too
Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.
I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.
I'd comment but it's classified and I'd have to kill you. Let me think about it while I take the secret military load that I can't get out of the truck to look at and the shipping papers don't detail, drive it to a military base while having a helicopter escort and blow by all the weigh stations, back it into a cavern under a mountain and still not get out to see what it is.
Menu? Real pros eat the buffet. 3 times a day until their belly hangs over their pants and the entire truck shifts when they get in and out.
Jackrabbit379
10-22-2009, 05:39 PM
Someone may have already said this, I may have over looked it..
I've always like the sound of a jake brake when you have a set of straights. The thing that makes those guys look like a pro, is when you see someone with a set of straights, with the jake brake turned on, pulling a flatbed with nothing on it. :eek1: :roll: :lol:
Kevin0915
10-22-2009, 07:02 PM
Menu? Real pros eat the buffet. 3 times a day until their belly hangs over their pants and the entire truck shifts when they get in and out.
dont forget their gut hangs over their pants/belt, then wear a t-shirt thats too short to cover everything, and they pretend if they cant see it, neither can you.
coalregion
10-22-2009, 08:28 PM
Fred that post had me in tears from laughing!! May I add afew....
Always whizz in bottles whenever possible, then when you get out at the truckstop (preferably in Yuma Arizona in July when it's 130 in the shade), dump all bottles right next to the truck aside of you, so he can enjoy the fruits of your labor. In a pinch it is also ok to whizz on your tandems while parked 30' from a restroom.
Also, toss all of your garbage directly out your window onto the ground, as you ARE a pro, and people should be more than happy to pick up after you.
Tell anyone who questions anything you do while behind the wheel that you've driven more miles in reverse than they will ever drive going foward and to mind their own freaking business, least you unleash a swirling torrent of misery on their sorry behinds (all the special op training you had back in the day)
Windwalker
10-23-2009, 01:47 AM
Make sure and tell everyone who will listen about your former experience as a Navy Seal/special ops/Delta Force/US Marshall etc... and when asked why you are driving a truck make sure to have a good story about how you put your supervisor in the hospital because of a disagreement.
I am continually amazed at how many drivers used to be in the black ops world.
Well, one true fact is... There are a few Seals that are now driving trucks. And, for that matter, I'd like to know how you can tell if they have actually been in or not. After all, Mr. Rogers, of "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" fame was a Seal. And, I've met about 3 guys, that YES, I know for a fact they were Seals. But, there's little doubt that the members of that elite are few and far between. So, I have no idea how many of these you have met, or how many times you've met the same guy.
Baldy
10-23-2009, 03:00 AM
After all, Mr. Rogers, of "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" fame was a Seal.
I'm afraid that statement is not true.
snopes.com: Mister Rogers (http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/mrrogers.asp)
chuck3507
10-23-2009, 04:59 AM
Don't forget to leave the jakes on while doing 50 through the parking lot.
After all, Mr. Rogers, of "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" fame was a Seal.
I'm afraid that statement is not true.
snopes.com: Mister Rogers (http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/mrrogers.asp)
Thanks Baldy. I was going to throw the bull**** flag on that one but you beat me to it. Seals are not anything special. They just train a lot more than the average soldier. This directly from a former Coronado Base Commander who happens to be a friend of mine.
Hawkjr
10-23-2009, 05:41 AM
awww this is easy... blindside back at every single pilot!!!! thats when your a pro!!!
also, ride up the fair left lane when it clearly says no commerical vehicles in the far left lane and pass everyone and not give a damn but get over the cb and holler at the other truck drivers cause a 4 wheeler is going 10 mph over the speed limit but not faster than your truck!!
your also a pro when you have 5 logbooks in the truck all set two hours away from each other to have a leg up on the competition and on the DOT man and brag over it on 19...
your also a pro if you can wizz in a 16 oz coke bottle with out wasting any urine on yourself, the steering wheel, and the bottle itself.. not to mention no to over fill the bottle all while driving down the steep hills of I-64 in West Virginia.. and on the PA Turnpike West of Carlisle
Flatbed
10-23-2009, 05:00 PM
Well, one true fact is... There are a few Seals that are now driving trucks. And, for that matter, I'd like to know how you can tell if they have actually been in or not. After all, Mr. Rogers, of "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" fame was a Seal. And, I've met about 3 guys, that YES, I know for a fact they were Seals. But, there's little doubt that the members of that elite are few and far between. So, I have no idea how many of these you have met, or how many times you've met the same guy.
I have found over the years that those who do great things are not inclined to brag about, much less talk to strangers, about what they have done.
Fredog
10-23-2009, 05:14 PM
also, if you are pulling a reefer, be sure to park as clsoe as possible to non-reefer trucks, even if the lot is 1/2 empty, pros love to listen to your reefer run instead of sleeping, be sure to put it on start-stop so it keeps his attention
bull-wagons also should park as close as possible to other trucks, try to find one with the windows open, he will appreciate it
coalregion
10-23-2009, 07:46 PM
bull-wagons also should park as close as possible to other trucks, try to find one with the windows open, he will appreciate it
Once again, especially in Yuma Arizona in July, when it's 130 in the shade.... LOL
eplurubus
10-26-2009, 03:19 AM
Obviously I'm not a pro because I don't understand some of your complaints.
...take the truck out of gear and coast, especially when you're right behind someone in line.
What do you mean 'especially right behind someone'? I coast sometimes and have no problems with it.
Also, shut off the engine before applying the parking brake (if at all)
I don't follow you here. I'm assuming the other trucker had his foot on the brake pedal, which can be used without the engine running. Many times I consider it a courtesy to shut off my truck when talking to someone, but there's no need to apply the parking brakes; the service brake alone will suffice.
never alert anyone behind you that you're about to back up on the CB
That is so rare that it doesn't really apply to this thread. I've never done it, and I don't think I've ever heard someone else do it.
homer
10-26-2009, 03:53 AM
[QUOTE=Hawkjr;466074]awww this is easy... blindside back at every single pilot!!!! thats when your a pro!!!
when hawkr is blind siding it at the pilot light up his mirrors with your headlights and fog lights. when he gets parked hammer down thru the lot to show your displeasure about the wait.
when you see a driver with the cajones to jump out in the hammer lane broadcast loud and long what your company handbook says and the latest law is and maybe a cop will hear you and catch him and you will be the cops favorite lil b#tch
stop at every truckstop and get some soda and chips and once you gain50 pounds the civilians will get tired of seeing butt crack and stop somewhere else
VPIDarkAngel
10-26-2009, 04:31 AM
Obviously I'm not a pro because I don't understand some of your complaints.
What do you mean 'especially right behind someone'? I coast sometimes and have no problems with it.
I mean that he did that within 20 feet of the back of my trailer. I was highly surprised that he didn't crash into the back of my trailer... but a Mabe's driver DID hit a trailer at that very guard shack by doing that.
I don't follow you here. I'm assuming the other trucker had his foot on the brake pedal, which can be used without the engine running. Many times I consider it a courtesy to shut off my truck when talking to someone, but there's no need to apply the parking brakes; the service brake alone will suffice.
You assumed wrong. He was still coasting at 10mph when he killed the engine. I'm not quite sure whether he used the service brake or the parking brake to finally stop the truck. Either way, he was REALLY lucky that he didn't get caught. We had two different groups of folks from the safety dept. in there the past two weeks, who fired at least 18 drivers for stuff like that.
hat is so rare that it doesn't really apply to this thread. I've never done it, and I don't think I've ever heard someone else do it.
I'll give ya that one. I've done it (last week at Greencastle, to be precise), but I admit, it IS rare.
repete
10-26-2009, 08:45 AM
Make sure when you pass another truck you cut in real close, you can tell a REAL PRO by how close to your grille he gets. Only a rookie leaves more than a few feet
1TruckDrivinSunUvAGun
10-27-2009, 02:32 AM
I once heard a driver on the phone talking loudly that he had to get home because he had a combat mission to fly in Iraq, mind you the guy was your typical fat slob that looked like he was incapable of flying a remote control plane. Don't forget the pros that won't get over to let you on the highway even if no one is next to them. I love the pros that relieve themselves at the fuel island, smells great in the summer time. Guys that have never heard of cruise control and have speeds that fluctuate from 55mph to 70mph. Or the pros that speed up once they see you are going to pass them then you fall back in behind them and then they slow down again. Not driver related but I get tired of the mud ducks that clog up channel 19 with their ramblings.
golfhobo
10-27-2009, 03:08 AM
I once heard a driver on the phone talking loudly that he had to get home because he had a combat mission to fly in Iraq, mind you the guy was your typical fat slob that looked like he was incapable of flying a remote control plane.
Well, I wasn't THERE.... but you know? There ARE truckers who play video games when they are at home or off duty. Many of those games are Wargame types. Maybe, he was telling a friend of his that he had to get home to fly a "simulated mission" on his XBox. I'll bet his friend knew him well enough to know what he meant.
DID YOU? :hellno:
I have found over the years that those who do great things are not inclined to brag about, much less talk to strangers, about what they have done.
Those who have walked the walk don't talk about it. They don't have to. They have a big neon sign flashing over them that says "F**k with me at your own peril" if you take time to notice. The guy in the bar bragging about all his special, secret missions and covert training? poser.
golfhobo
10-27-2009, 03:52 AM
Fred that post had me in tears from laughing!! May I add a few....
.... Tell anyone who questions anything you do while behind the wheel that you've driven more miles in reverse than they will ever drive going foward and to mind their own freaking business....
Ah yes..... I certainly do miss ol' YOOPR!! The young PROS we have on the board today can't hold a candle to that man! :thumbsup:
belpre122
10-31-2009, 10:03 PM
All of the above tidbits are great advice for showcasing the professionalism of today's truck driver....................
If I might add however. Any task is best accomplished when wearing a dirty, filthy, grease and urine stained 'wife beater.' The clear choice of domestic violence perpetrators on Cops is also the standard for the modern truck driver.
Drive on!
http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll169/belpre122/Wife_Beater.jpg
freebirdrfd
10-31-2009, 10:50 PM
All of the above tidbits are great advice for showcasing the professionalism of today's truck driver....................
If I might add however. Any task is best accomplished when wearing a dirty, filthy, grease and urine stained 'wife beater.' The clear choice of domestic violence perpetrators on Cops is also the standard for the modern truck driver.
Drive on!
http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll169/belpre122/Wife_Beater.jpg
Did you have permission to put that picture of "REV." up there?????? :moon:
Hawkjr
11-01-2009, 08:36 AM
Did you have permission to put that picture of "REV." up there?????? :moon:
fat guy, sitting on his coach with a beer, looking like a homeless person?? shiiiiittt. thats a shoe in for Golfhobo.. how do you think Gary got the picture.. Him and Hobo got ripped one night and him and Mackman took the picture!! You know those guys are/were locals and semi locals in Hobo case...
P0rk Ch0p
11-02-2009, 06:49 PM
Also, when pulling up at the pumps just enough for the guy behind you to get fuel, make you sure you pull up an additional 50 to 100 feet so the truck next to you can't swing out around you, thus clogging 2 fuel lanes.
Jarhed1964
11-07-2009, 04:47 AM
If some ***clown poser claims he is a Seal, ask him what BUDS class he attended. I freakin hate posers with a serious passion. Same with bottomfeeders who claim to have been in the Marine Corps. I always ask them what platoon they graduated with and which Marine Corps boot camp they went to. (There are only two, they usually screw that up and tell me they went to some state where no Marine Corps base exists, or rattle off the name of some Marine Corps base that does not have boot).
I hate posers.
Seriously.
I hate them.
Kevin0915
11-07-2009, 05:14 AM
something else to help you look like a pro. Not sure if anybody mentioned it, but be sure you take your toiletries bag into a restroom, use one of the 3 sinks there as your own personal shower paying no mind to people who need to get around you for papertowels out of the only working papertowel machine.
Make sure you use the speaker phone function on your cell and yell into it so everyone can hear your conversation. Pro's know that everyone wants to hear what they are saying.
When a state trooper stops you make sure you knock him/her off of your running board and then have them apologize for touching your truck. Only real pro's can get this done without going to jail.
Real Pros know that they don't have to turn over their logbooks to anyone other than DOT. Tell the State Trooper/Sheriff/Local that he doesn't have the authority to see it and argue the point. Real Pros always win this argument and go on their merry way without a problem.
When getting a truck inspection done at a scale real pros always show the DOT officer how to do it right. Pros know that they love to be shown how to do their jobs and appreciate the help.
That first one happened to me this morning at Princeton, WV. It was a SuddenLink employee who stepped out in front of me, my truck, and 34,000lbs. of cheap junk. Not 30 minutes after this, one of his co-workers in a pickup pulls right out in front of a Valley Proteins tractor-trailer. The moron in the pickup was on his cell phone, too.
Here's another few.
When pulling up to the guard shack at a customer, take the truck out of gear and coast, especially when you're right behind someone in line. Also, shut off the engine before applying the parking brake (if at all). A 'pro' can keep the truck stopped without brakes. (Yes, this just happened to me at the distribution center this evening... Yes, he was on his cell phone too.)
When backing, never use the four-ways, never alert anyone behind you that you're about to back up on the CB (if there's anyone there), and never, EVER, under any circumstances, get out and look. (The same cell phone wielding idiot pulled that same stunt on the yard while I was inspecting my trailer.)
I've never seen someone shut off the truck and coast up to a guard shack. What kind of numbnuts would do something like that....oh, yeah. A Real Pro.
coalregion
11-09-2009, 10:50 PM
Real Pros know that they don't have to turn over their logbooks to anyone other than DOT. Tell the State Trooper/Sheriff/Local that he doesn't have the authority to see it and argue the point. Real Pros always win this argument and go on their merry way without a problem.
Also make sure to mention a Federal Marshall's personal phone # you have on speed dial for just such an occasion...8>)
Also make sure to mention a Federal Marshall's personal phone # you have on speed dial for just such an occasion...8>)
I didn't mention it because we are all pro's on this site and have it in our phones already. :) Just last week I had to call Walker Texas Ranger on a scalemaster. He's not a Marshall but can kick his butt if needed.
headborg
11-15-2009, 04:19 AM
1st I got to say... I love this.. :clap::clap: well done Fredog
but I got to play "Devil's Advocate" here a little.
always drive in the middle lane no matter what your speed. Let the amateurs find a way around you
I always run in the middle lane- my truck is faster than 90% of the other company trucks on the road- and if you're Union being paid by the hour why should you care? The center lane is the "safest"- allowing options of going left or right if the **** hits the fan up ahead. But agreed- if there's no damn traffic in that right lane/and or you're in a slow truck- get the frack out of my WAY!
When a veteran trucker offers advice, always say “that’s not how I was taught to do it.” :clap:
Never park in a marked space at a truckstops, these spaces are for amateurs, pros make their own spots.
That's because the amateurs are all "fair weather & solar powered" and by the time the "pros" come off the road--they have to make their own spots because the truck stop if full by dark. And another thing... just because there's a few inches of damn ice/snow is no damn excuse for parking 4 feet apart and crooked as hell. We could get a 100 more trucks in there.
If there is no place to make a spot, then park at the fuel pump. :clap:
If someone asks you on the cb to please move out of the middle lane, call them names and say things like
“you drive your truck and I’ll drive mine” this shows the other guy that you are a pro
Hell the ***** probably on the cell phone or jamming to RAP music on his IPOD or his turban is in his eyes and he can't see the right mirror. I'd just pass on the Right and blow my big AIR HORN at him and give him the Finger as I roll by.
If you want to pass and you see a truck coming up fast on your left, hurry up and cut over in front of him before he has a chance to get by, then after you take 5 miles to pass, wait until you get at least 50 truck lengths ahead and then get back over
:clap:
But....
a. If you're running that fast, you're probably SPEEDING.
b. If you're traveling in the passing lane constantly - you're breaking the law.
c. If you can see ahead and know a truck of overtaking another... maybe you could tap your brakes... surely he's had his signal on to alert you he's going to pass.
d. Agreed, if you can't get around and back clear in 1 minute-- you shouldn't waste everyone's fracking time trying to pass another truck.
NEVER give up on a pass just because traffic is backed up 2 miles behind you, this would make it look like you are afraid
Hell, I wouldn't-- as long as you've got your tractor ahead-- You've won the damn race-- it's time for that other guy to concede defeat! And back out of it. You think I'm Pissed at waiting for you to get around him.. I'm really gonna be mad if NOW I have to slow down MORE for you to drop back behind.... Hell, I OWN the Left PASSING LANE! GET OUT OF MY WAY!
If you are in the truck being passed, NEVER slow down to allow the other guy to get by, maintain your speed, it is really helpful if you can get up more speed going downhill and make him start all over again, this shows that you are a real pro and cant be pushed around :clap:
If you are pulling doubles, always weave back and forth between lanes to discourage the amateurs from trying to pass you :clap:
When you stop to eat, after taking a crap NEVER wash your hands, just go straight to the buffet :clap:
When a truck gets over to let you merge onto the interstate, don’t let him back over, try your best to out run him, if you cant do it after 5 or 6 miles, then it is okay to let him over :clap:
When being passed at night, always watch the passing trucks right mirror, when you see the driver look in it, turn your brights on, leave them on for 10 to 15 seconds to be sure he sees them :clap:
When will they learn? it's OFF/ON not HIGH/LOW!
When driving in rain or snow or ice and you see other truckers taking it slow and easy, just maintain your speed and make fun of how scared they are. If you go in the ditch, tell the cop a truck ran you off the road
Well, I'm going to maintain my speed as long as I'm comfortable... I got enough to worry about up ahead- than to add- REACTING/ staying behind others... but you didn't specifically specify that scenario. :thumbsup:
NEVER turn your lights on until it is totally dark, no since wasting good bulbs, marker lights are enough in the dusk and rain and snow and look cool Night vision goggles $2000.00- helps when running "outlaw" and don't want to be seen- dodging the scales on back roads! :lol:
Every now and then share some of your music over the cb, this shows everyone that you really are a pro :clap:
If you are turning in and see a truck coming out, never wait for him, he will think you are an amateur and dont know how to turn, if he can drive, he can figure out how to make it :clap:
After you fuel, pull up and leave your truck parked there for at least 30 minutes, this is what pros do :clap:
When pulling in a weigh station and the green light is on, always stop on the scale and wait for someone on the cb to tell you to go :clap:
If the weigh station says maintain 45 mph, go 15. if it says 15 mph, go 40 :clap:
NEVER slow down for construction zones, if your truck is governed, your foot should be on the floor at all times
:clap:
If your truck isn’t governed just maintain whatever speed you were going. Only newbies slow down
These are just a few tips to help you look like a true modern day professional truck driver
Everyone is welcome to add to the list[/quote]
Oh, instead of turning your lights ON/OFF to single someone over-- never take your hand off the CB Mic-- and continue to assume he's got his ON--repeating ..." "Bring it over.. Bring it over....." to no avail.
coalregion
11-19-2009, 11:15 PM
Your truck should also have more lights than downtown Las Vegas and enough chrome to make Stevie Wonder squint from the glare on a sunny day. Even if it's a company truck, you should spare no expense when it comes to this. No matter if your house is being repossessed and your kids are starving, a real pro rolls in style....
Useless
11-21-2009, 06:37 AM
Dress for the job; a sleeveless undershirt with coffee stains, and some drops of yellow food dye strategically placed in the front, center of the shirt tail. Don't forget the belt buckle the size of a Mercedes Benz hub cap, along with the ostrich feathered roach clip hanging down from your cap.
Remember to get on the CB as soon as you clear the highway get-on ramp, and ask for bear reports. After you get your bear report, tell the driver who gave you the report that you just pulled out of the truck stop, so you can't give him anything in return.
Remember to talk on the CB about your record of military service. You were in Special Forces. A Green Beret or a Navy SEAL works well. No self respecting driver was ever a cook, or a postal clerk, a dental assistant, a phlebotomist, or a billeting clerk.
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