A Serious Question ( about men)

[RebelDarlin]

I am really bad at this kind of stuff (obviously why I'm still single at 50)! http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd26/headborg/smileys/Blush.gif What do men consider 'romantic'? I don't mean sexy, I can figure that part out, :lol: but what is romantic to a man. Or do they even want, or need, romance? :confused:

[Jumbo]

Do guys need or want romance? You ever figure that out write a book and you wont ever have to work again. Things I consider romantic:

1) A candle light dinner at home with soft music in the background.
2) A note in my lunchbox.
3) Call me at work just to say you are thinking about me.
4) Rub my back.
5) If you hate scary movies just curl up on the couch and watch one with me, I promise I will protect you.
6) Slow dance with me in the livingroom.

Is this any insight?

[RebelDarlin]

Do guys need or want romance? You ever figure that out write a book and you wont ever have to work again. Things I consider romantic:

1) A candle light dinner at home with soft music in the background.
2) A note in my lunchbox.
3) Call me at work just to say you are thinking about me.
4) Rub my back.
5) If you hate scary movies just curl up on the couch and watch one with me, I promise I will protect you.
6) Slow dance with me in the livingroom.

Is this any insight?

Those are great insights! Thank you!!!!

[dobry4u]

Do guys need or want romance? You ever figure that out write a book and you wont ever have to work again. Things I consider romantic:

1) A candle light dinner at home with soft music in the background.
2) A note in my lunchbox.
3) Call me at work just to say you are thinking about me.
4) Rub my back.
5) If you hate scary movies just curl up on the couch and watch one with me, I promise I will protect you.
6) Slow dance with me in the livingroom.

Is this any insight?

How about:

making your favorite diner just because?
letting you win at bowling?
asking you how your day was and really be interested?

:)

[Jumbo]

How about:

making your favorite diner just because?
letting you win at bowling?
asking you how your day was and really be interested?

:)

Oh I'm sorry were you talking to me?

[RebelDarlin]

How about:

making your favorite diner just because?
letting you win at bowling?
asking you how your day was and really be interested?

:)

I do things like that ( including making his favorite brownies) but I'm told that they are more practical, than romantic. Hence my issue: I think that men and women have very different ideas on what is romantic. To me it's the little things that show you care about someone. And I was told specifically that letting him win at bowling or miniature golf was condescending. Maybe I shouldn't tell him that I let him win. :p

[Jumbo]

Was it Tanya Tucker who had the song "Little Things" I think Kenny Rogers had one titled the same.

[mommee]

i agree that it is the little things most of the time. he may not realize it, but when you stop he will notice. then he will ask - why don't you bake me brownies anymore?

[Flatbed]

Throughout known history men have been expected to be the ones to create the romance in a relationship. If man fails to keep the romance wagon rolling, he loses the ultimate prize.

Men don't expect to be romanced, and may not even notice if they are romanced.

Favorite dinner? Nice, I was hungry and I like this stuff.
Watching a movie you don't like with me? Huh, she must really be bored, I'd better hide the remote for awhile.
Backrub? Wohooo, I'm gonna get some!

A note in the lunchbox or an unexptected call or text, yeah, those are good and will even be seen as romantic. Don't expect many guys to want or even notice much deeper romance then things like that though.

[RebelDarlin]

Throughout known history men have been expected to be the ones to create the romance in a relationship. If man fails to keep the romance wagon rolling, he loses the ultimate prize.

Men don't expect to be romanced, and may not even notice if they are romanced.

Favorite dinner? Nice, I was hungry and I like this stuff.
Watching a movie you don't like with me? Huh, she must really be bored, I'd better hide the remote for awhile.
Backrub? Wohooo, I'm gonna get some!

A note in the lunchbox or an unexptected call or text, yeah, those are good and will even be seen as romantic. Don't expect many guys to want or even notice much deeper romance then things like that though.


Shouldn't it be a 2 way street? If men don't expect, or notice, being romanced, what is it that they want? And why do I keep hearing that I don't have a romantic bone in my body?

[ironeagle_2006]

Rebel it is the Little things that the women in mens life do that we think are romantic. However in my case for me it goes when my wife reaches and just wants to hold my hand or cuddles up next to me in bed or goes I'll get the 2 year old ready for bed tonight since you have her all day since our roles are reversed here. But the biggest thing for my wife and I is always keeping the line of commo open we both know when those close that things are getting bad and we need to realize that HEY there are 2 in this marriage and we need to get back in touch with each other.

[dobry4u]

Rebel it is the Little things that the women in mens life do that we think are romantic. However in my case for me it goes when my wife reaches and just wants to hold my hand or cuddles up next to me in bed or goes I'll get the 2 year old ready for bed tonight since you have her all day since our roles are reversed here. But the biggest thing for my wife and I is always keeping the line of commo open we both know when those close that things are getting bad and we need to realize that HEY there are 2 in this marriage and we need to get back in touch with each other.

X2 :thumbsup:

I think the key is connection.

[Jumbo]

But romance isnt always planned. One of the best memories I have is the time I was siding our new garage. It was a late Sunday afternoon, I was on top of 3 sections of scaffolding when she came back from town. She climbed to the top then pulled up a bag with a box of fried chicken, a bottle of wine and plastic cups. We sat there snuggled against each other eating chicken and watching the sunset. She said it was just a spur of the moment thing.

[dobry4u]

But romance isnt always planned. One of the best memories I have is the time I was siding our new garage. It was a late Sunday afternoon, I was on top of 3 sections of scaffolding when she came back from town. She climbed to the top then pulled up a bag with a box of fried chicken, a bottle of wine and plastic cups. We sat there snuggled against each other eating chicken and watching the sunset. She said it was just a spur of the moment thing.


Doh..... last time I was on the roof (the garage) I was hanging Christmas lights... the ladder fell and I yelled for a half an hour trying to get someone out of the house to help me get down......

It is a great memory, Jumbo... One to treasure and apparently you are :thumbsup:

[Rev.Vassago]

Romance is:

-telling the person you love that you do, during the most unexpected of times.
-talking to the person you love, and actually listening to them because you want to hear what they have to say.
-looking at the person you love, and telling them with only a gaze that they are the most important person in your life.
-wrapping your arms around the person you love, just because you want to be near them.
-doing as much as you possibly can when the person you love is sick so that they don't have to.
-giving as much as you take. Giving more than you take.

:)

[Mackman]

Was it Tanya Tucker who had the song "Little Things" I think Kenny Rogers had one titled the same.


It was Tanya Tucker. One fo the best female country singers ever.





OK back on topic.:thumbsup:

[ironeagle_2006]

Like for me my wife is having cravings BIG time called Pregnant with our LAST child I get the snip in 3 weeks she gets cut tied and BURNED at the delivery. She is wanting some of my Chicken Wings and Home Made Crab Rangoons.
She also is ther for me after I end up flopping like a fish. For me the biggest part of romance is alway knwign tha when I need that little bit of something to make me feel better even if I am sore as hell form back to back seizures she is there for me.

[Rev.Vassago]

Home Made Crab Rangoons.

I made some of those last night. Minus the crab.

[Jumbo]

Steak rangoons?

[Rev.Vassago]

Steak rangoons?
Cream cheese puffs. Wonton skins filled with cream cheese, and deep fried. YUM.

[matcat]

I have to agree with flatbed, we don't expect to be romanced, or even realize it when we are being romanced. But the reality is it is going to be different for everyone, you really have to get to know the person, what they like, what they don't like to really be able to come up with an answer.

[BlooMoose]

Reb - I'm not really "romantic" either. If I had more $$ and time, I could probably think of a lot of romantic ideas. You should be the one who is getting romanced, anyway. I mean, as women, we can do certain things - like cooking that favorite meal or "setting the stage"...so to speak, but otherwise, I don't have a lot of input. I should stay tuned to this post to get ideas, also!!

However, I'm in a totally different situation as you, also...I still have kids at home and am separated...so I don't have the motivation to try to romance my hub...and, in the event that it (that little "fire") ever "came back", the kids would probably certainly make sure we had no time alone, anyway!

Really, the only things I have done to make sure that my partner knew that I loved him was...go to work everday to relieve financial stress (half the time, I was the only one doing this), keep the laundry done...with whatever detergent/fabric softener is his favorite, cook special things (coconut or chocolate creme pie, strawberry pie, brownies, etc...) so he could call his dad and rub it in, search out clothing that would fit him AND look good (he's 6' 11" so it's hard to find things that really fit him nicely), keep the oil changed in my truck/clean it out (because I knew it was important to him), etc...

I'll be glad to get some tips, too...for the "next time"...if there is a next time!!

[BlooMoose]

...what is it that they want? And why do I keep hearing that I don't have a romantic bone in my body?

I'd like to know that, too. Is he telling you that you are not romantic?

[Jumbo]

Reb - I'm not really "romantic" either. If I had more $$ and time, I could probably think of a lot of romantic ideas. You should be the one who is getting romanced, anyway. I mean, as women, we can do certain things - like cooking that favorite meal or "setting the stage"...so to speak, but otherwise, I don't have a lot of input. I should stay tuned to this post to get ideas, also!!

However, I'm in a totally different situation as you, also...I still have kids at home and am separated...so I don't have the motivation to try to romance my hub...and, in the event that it (that little "fire") ever "came back", the kids would probably certainly make sure we had no time alone, anyway!

Really, the only things I have done to make sure that my partner knew that I loved him was...go to work everday to relieve financial stress (half the time, I was the only one doing this), keep the laundry done...with whatever detergent/fabric softener is his favorite, cook special things (coconut or chocolate creme pie, strawberry pie, brownies, etc...) so he could call his dad and rub it in, search out clothing that would fit him AND look good (he's 6' 11" so it's hard to find things that really fit him nicely), keep the oil changed in my truck/clean it out (because I knew it was important to him), etc...

I'll be glad to get some tips, too...for the "next time"...if there is a next time!!

May I make the suggestion that maybe the problem isnt with you ladies? Maybe you ladies were just with the wrong guy who couldnt see romance if you smacked him in the face with it? Some guys think that sex IS romance. I call them knuckle dragging mouth breathers. Lets face it. Young ladies are pumping their own gas ( and washing the windows) while their bf sits in the car. Every lady wants a nice guy, So why are the nice guys single?

[RebelDarlin]

May I make the suggestion that maybe the problem isnt with you ladies? Maybe you ladies were just with the wrong guy who couldnt see romance if you smacked him in the face with it? Some guys think that sex IS romance. I call them knuckle dragging mouth breathers. Lets face it. Young ladies are pumping their own gas ( and washing the windows) while their bf sits in the car. Every lady wants a nice guy, So why are the nice guys single?

Great description there Jumbo, I've known a few of those!:crossbones: As to why the nice guys are still single, I don't know. Maybe they're as picky as I am. I'm still trying to figure out why some of the nicest women I know are single or with one of those knuckle dragging mouth breathers.

And Bloo, no he isn't telling me I'm not romantic, he is actually trying to convince me that I am. But after a lifetime of being told that I'm not, it's a hard sell. He actually appreciates the things I do, even when I don't think they are that big of a deal.

[ironeagle_2006]

Why is all the Nice guys are single I will give you a reason. I was considered a NICE guy in HS and the girls n HS and Colledge are NOT looking for the so called NICE guy they want the Party Animals. Next thing they know they are Pregnant that happened to my wife before I met her and she and her EX got married because of that. Well he ended up breaking my stepsons arm at 4 months ecause hewas crying because he was hungry and had a dirty diaper what 4 month old WOULD NOT CRY with those 2 problems. I met her at irst she was like HE CAN NOT BE REAL then it hit her I WAS AS NICE AS I WAS. Now she is like I hit the Jackpot won the lottery and struck gold all at the same time. Name one other husband that will cook clean do the Dishes laundry and take care of the kids without complaints 24/7 and all he asks for in return is some cuddles every now and then. That and I get to keep my 150 gallon fish tank.

[Rev.Vassago]

Name one other husband that will cook clean do the Dishes laundry and take care of the kids without complaints 24/7

That isn't that hard to find.

[Jumbo]

What has two thumbs and did all that? (thumbs pointing towards me) This guy.

[Jumbo]

Oh wait. My brother, the stay at home dad and college student, wants me to point at him also.

[ironeagle_2006]

With some it is. I know of some families where the husband refuses to do anything with the kids and leaves it all up to the mother of them and then he wonders why she is always tired. Guys if your idea of romanceis lift your FEET when she is a Vacuming CALLED you need a wake up call. For me the most important people in my life go in this order my wife and kids FIRST then my other family then my friends.

[Rev.Vassago]

With some it is. I know of some families where the husband refuses to do anything with the kids and leaves it all up to the mother of them and then he wonders why she is always tired.

Men like that give other men a bad name. But all men are not like that.

[dobry4u]

I think it gets a bit confusing with "caring for" the kids. The children are both parent's responsibility to nurture and provide and teach values. But from the get go the scales are unbalanced (i.e. dads can't breast feed).


As far as dishes, vacuuming, and laundry lets add the other side, oil changing, roof repair, and lawn mowing. I don't see any of it as romantic :hellno:

[BlooMoose]

Why is all the Nice guys are single I will give you a reason. I was considered a NICE guy in HS and the girls n HS and Colledge are NOT looking for the so called NICE guy they want the Party Animals. Next thing they know they are Pregnant that happened to my wife before I met her and she and her EX got married because of that. Well he ended up breaking my stepsons arm at 4 months ecause hewas crying because he was hungry and had a dirty diaper what 4 month old WOULD NOT CRY with those 2 problems. I met her at irst she was like HE CAN NOT BE REAL then it hit her I WAS AS NICE AS I WAS. Now she is like I hit the Jackpot won the lottery and struck gold all at the same time. Name one other husband that will cook clean do the Dishes laundry and take care of the kids without complaints 24/7 and all he asks for in return is some cuddles every now and then. That and I get to keep my 150 gallon fish tank.

Unfortunately, some women don't know what they want....

With some it is. I know of some families where the husband refuses to do anything with the kids and leaves it all up to the mother of them and then he wonders why she is always tired. Guys if your idea of romanceis lift your FEET when she is a Vacuming CALLED you need a wake up call. For me the most important people in my life go in this order my wife and kids FIRST then my other family then my friends.

Some guys do stuff...not the stuff that needs to be done, just what they decide they want to do. In general, those guys do not make life easier, they get in the way, then gripe when you haven't gotten anything done. My all-time favorites quote from my soon-to-be-ex who comes up on weekends: "I don't how how you can stand to live like this" - well, maybe I was spending my little bit of spare time mowing and pulling the weeds in the alley so we don't get a ticket instead of fixing the rod that fell down in my closet (which I asked him to do the last three times he was here). So, instead of helping me by fixing the rod...he is just ovewrwhelmed that I "live like that". It's okay...

Men like that give other men a bad name. But all men are not like that.

I asked a friend of mine to help me fix that rod in the closet and he fixed it. I only have so much time to do things with 4 kids and a job. It is true...all men are not like that. There are some really great guys out there...

[BlooMoose]

I think it gets a bit confusing with "caring for" the kids. The children are both parent's responsibility to nurture and provide and teach values. But from the get go the scales are unbalanced (i.e. dads can't breast feed).


As far as dishes, vacuuming, and laundry lets add the other side, oil changing, roof repair, and lawn mowing. I don't see any of it as romantic :hellno:

You are cold and hard....teeheehee...depends on what you are wearing while you wash dishes...LOLOLO :moon:

[dobry4u]

You are cold and hard....teeheehee...depends on what you are wearing while you wash dishes...LOLOLO :moon:


Hmm... go for the "bigger picture".... depends on what you are wearing while you mow the lawn :)

[Rev.Vassago]

I asked a friend of mine to help me fix that rod in the closet and he fixed it. I only have so much time to do things with 4 kids and a job. It is true...all men are not like that. There are some really great guys out there...

And I'm sure he didn't expect anything in return for it either. Even occasional cuddles. That's the whole "giving as much or more than you take" thing. It has less to do with romance, and more to do with respect. By giving as much as you take, you are giving respect to the person in your life that is important to you. If you don't respect the person, then it's pretty darn hard to feel romantic toward them.

[dobry4u]

And I'm sure he didn't expect anything in return for it either. Even occasional cuddles. That's the whole "giving as much or more than you take" thing. It has less to do with romance, and more to do with respect. By giving as much as you take, you are giving respect to the person in your life that is important to you. If you don't respect the person, then it's pretty darn hard to feel romantic toward them.

+1 well said, Rev. Well said :thumbsup:

[BlooMoose]

It is totally about respect.

[BlooMoose]

depends on what you are wearing while you wash dishes...LOLOLO :moon:

.... mow the lawn :)

I know, darn it...I could probably get a lot more help that way...but there is a cop that lives down the street...:smokin:

:block:

[Snowman7]

Do you guys think your parents relationships come into play here? We learn by example. Any relationship is going to get tested at some point. I think we either try to get along or try to break up. Kinda like deciding to be happy or sad. It is a choice. Some relationships just werent right but some that fail could have been saved with a different mindset. I guess I dont relate to romance per se. My wife and I just get along and we like each other. We try not to hurt each other. We always know we want to be together and we tell each other that. Just talking out loud here Reb, not sure how to answer your question. I'm not much help around the house. I do all the guy stuff and I'm responsible but not much on cooking, cleaning, laundry so I dont think thats the answer.

[movinit]

I consider someone to be romantic by sharing my interests as much as they want me to share in theirs. I love to hunt so someone who can shoot as good as I do and doesn't squeal is romantic.

[RebelDarlin]

Do you guys think your parents relationships come into play here? We learn by example. Any relationship is going to get tested at some point. I think we either try to get along or try to break up. Kinda like deciding to be happy or sad. It is a choice. Some relationships just werent right but some that fail could have been saved with a different mindset. I guess I dont relate to romance per se. My wife and I just get along and we like each other. We try not to hurt each other. We always know we want to be together and we tell each other that. Just talking out loud here Reb, not sure how to answer your question. I'm not much help around the house. I do all the guy stuff and I'm responsible but not much on cooking, cleaning, laundry so I dont think thats the answer.


Good point Snowman! My Dad was a trucker, not around a lot. Me, I've always worked so I'm not around a lot either. My only marriage (many years ago and quite brief) was a disaster and since then I don't think I've taken any relationship serious enough to contemplate trying to make it last. It was pretty much take me as I am or there's the door. They were a 'convenience' so to speak. But recently I find myself in new territory and am at a loss as to how to proceed. My best friend calls me 'relationship r-e-t-a-r-d-ed', and she's pretty much nailed me with that one. I don't have a clue!

[matcat]

To be philosophical here...

Love is nothing that can be quantified with any formula, specific set of actions, or even by logic! Love is an emotion, however relationships are real and quantifiable. Relationships based on love can be very complicated because emotion and logic don't mix. What works in a relationship depends solely on the two people involved. I honestly don't think a relationship can truly last on love alone. This is why I think a lot of people get married and find out that life afterwards is completely different then before. As I already said, love is an emotion, it can cause two people to be attracted, which will start a relationship, but it will not hold one together. Relationships take work, they take sacrifice, and they take understanding both yourself and the other person. After marriage it is more then just love, the act of marriage itself is a commitment that the two will join their lives together! This means all the responsibilities of life are now joined together.

You need to keep your relationship alive and healthy in order to keep your love alive and healthy in relation to that relationship.

This is one of the reasons why I have never persued a serious relationship, because I can hardly be responsable for my own life, let alone anyone elses. I have experienced the emotion of love plenty of times, but never put much effort into the relationship aspect of it. Not that I don't think I could, but because in reality I am just not responsable enough for it. Although the older I get, the more I start to regret some of my choices...

At either rate, I just wanted to do a little philosophical ranting, I haven't done much philosphical writing in a long time, and for some reason today I felt the desire too. Perhaps that happy pill last night does have a lingering effect...

[BlooMoose]

Do you guys think your parents relationships come into play here? We learn by example. Any relationship is going to get tested at some point. I think we either try to get along or try to break up. Kinda like deciding to be happy or sad. It is a choice. Some relationships just werent right but some that fail could have been saved with a different mindset. I guess I dont relate to romance per se. My wife and I just get along and we like each other. We try not to hurt each other. We always know we want to be together and we tell each other that. Just talking out loud here Reb, not sure how to answer your question. I'm not much help around the house. I do all the guy stuff and I'm responsible but not much on cooking, cleaning, laundry so I dont think thats the answer.

As Reb said, you are probably on to something.

[amandaholder]

I am really bad at this kind of stuff (obviously why I'm still single at 50)! http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd26/headborg/smileys/Blush.gif What do men consider 'romantic'? I don't mean sexy, I can figure that part out, :lol: but what is romantic to a man. Or do they even want, or need, romance? :confused:

men dont want romance,just sex, that's why I have a girlfriend, she knows how to be romantic

[matcat]

men dont want romance,just sex, that's why I have a girlfriend, she knows how to be romantic
I have to disagree with that. Sex is great, but it is not everything. All the sexual partners I have had that didn't involve any real love to me where just empty and meaningless encounters.

It could just be I am getting older and see things differently though...

[Rev.Vassago]

men dont want romance,just sex, that's why I have a girlfriend, she knows how to be romantic

Wow. What a bigot.

[BlooMoose]

Wow. What a bigot.


LOL. I have nearly come to that conclusion, myself...maybe what I need is a good wife...

[matcat]

LOL. I have nearly come to that conclusion, myself...maybe what I need is a good wife...
No you don't need a wife!!!

[BlooMoose]

No you don't need a wife!!!

ROFLMAO!! Tell me what I need, mat

[matcat]

After I get done doing this ton of paperwork I let pile up :P

[BlooMoose]

:thumbsup:

[RebelDarlin]

Ok I found this and it seems to fit:

What Men Want - How to Romance a Man - Redbook (http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/men-find-romantic)



BTW Jumbo you rock! Your original list is almost exactly what he said!

[wimpy]

If I may say, it may or may not be romantic to you but it is to me when my girlfriend does things for me when I don't even ask her to do it. Such as make my lunch, come snuggle next to me while I'm sleeping (lets me know I'm wanted), gives me unexpected back/leg rubs! Those texts that you get once in a while stating "I just wanted to let you know I love you", those kinds of texts just hit the spot! So for me overall it's when you get/receive something without even expecting it.

[Fredog]

ROFLMAO!! Tell me what I need, mat

you need to quit playing on the internet and go haul another load. :rofl:

[dobry4u]

you need to quit playing on the internet and go haul another load. :rofl:

Now that is romantic! :hellno: :thumbsdown:

[matcat]

now that is romantic! :hellno: :thumbsdown:
rofl!

[jonp]

Romance is when I come home from 4 or 5 days on the road and my girlfriend has left a six-pack of my favorite beer in the fridge and she hates beer. For Valentines day one year my girlfriend left me a bottle of brandy and $5 to buy bait to go ice fishing. One year while I was at hunting camp she came out and when I came in for supper she was there with a fresh baked lasgagne. Very romantic for me without her having to say a thing. I'm serious.

Women and men look at romance and their relationship from entirely different perspectives. This is why for a women to expect a man to say I love you every day is not realistic. Men are more apt to demonstrate their love with concrete actions and not say it alot. One summer my girlfriend of a few years told me out of the blue that I never said I love you to her. My reply: Huh? Hell, I just took two weeks off work and roofed your house! Women are more cerebral and men more physical about love and sex. It's the way that we are wired.

Small things like the beer or putting up with his blow-em-up movies without making a fuss are romantic to us. The remark about the slinky lace and the women thinking she is being romantic and the man just thinking that he is about to get some is dead on the mark. We are just different.

[GTR SILVER]

To be philosophical here...

Love is nothing that can be quantified with any formula, specific set of actions, or even by logic! Love is an emotion, however relationships are real and quantifiable. Relationships based on love can be very complicated because emotion and logic don't mix. What works in a relationship depends solely on the two people involved. I honestly don't think a relationship can truly last on love alone. This is why I think a lot of people get married and find out that life afterwards is completely different then before. As I already said, love is an emotion, it can cause two people to be attracted, which will start a relationship, but it will not hold one together. Relationships take work, they take sacrifice, and they take understanding both yourself and the other person. After marriage it is more then just love, the act of marriage itself is a commitment that the two will join their lives together! This means all the responsibilities of life are now joined together.

You need to keep your relationship alive and healthy in order to keep your love alive and healthy in relation to that relationship.

This is one of the reasons why I have never persued a serious relationship, because I can hardly be responsable for my own life, let alone anyone elses. I have experienced the emotion of love plenty of times, but never put much effort into the relationship aspect of it. Not that I don't think I could, but because in reality I am just not responsable enough for it. Although the older I get, the more I start to regret some of my choices...

At either rate, I just wanted to do a little philosophical ranting, I haven't done much philosphical writing in a long time, and for some reason today I felt the desire too. Perhaps that happy pill last night does have a lingering effect...

spoke'n like a true "trucker"...just kidding.......very well put :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

there is a saying..."know thy self"...if we are to self consumed..how can we know our partner...???
just my 1 cent.....;);)

[matcat]

spoke'n like a true "trucker"...just kidding.......very well put :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

there is a saying..."know thy self"...if we are to self consumed..how can we know our partner...???
just my 1 cent.....;);)
Are you saying I am self consumed?!? :)

[dobry4u]

I don't think love and romance are the same. Romance to love is like lace to a teddy or frost to a mug.

[matcat]

I don't think love and romance are the same. Romance to love is like lace to a teddy or frost to a mug.
Romance is not love no. But romance is a tool for love. My personal definition of romance would be Actions that express your love for another.

Like a teddy with no lace or a mug without frost, love would be boring and stagnant without romance ;)

[golfhobo]

One of the few and most romantic things a woman can do for her man is to show him that he is ALL she needs or wants.

When a more handsome or physically attractive man catches you at the "bar" and tries to put a move on you, have the sense to realize it (in the first place) and then politely but loudly enough for us to hear it, simply tell him you are flattered but that you are with US and that's exactly where you WANT to be. Then return to your seat across from us and give us a look that clearly shows that you MEAN THAT!

All a man really wants is to be reassured that the woman HE picked out to be his mate is convinced that NO OTHER man could take his place. Of course, if you really FEEL that way you will show us in numerous "simple" ways... and by your EVERY action, you will not be able to "help" the fact that you are romancing us.

And if you think about it.... that is pretty much the same as a woman's idea of romance.

But, don't TELL anyone that I said that. ;)

On a side note... Reb: I think you are as capable of being romantic as any woman alive. When you meet the man that makes you "feel" as special as you are, or want to be, you will have no problem finding your "romantic bones." ;)

I suspect that the men in your life just never made you feel that way.

[golfhobo]

And Bloo, no he isn't telling me I'm not romantic, he is actually trying to convince me that I am. But after a lifetime of being told that I'm not, it's a hard sell. He actually appreciates the things I do, even when I don't think they are that big of a deal.

Maybe you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth!

"Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours!" (Richard S. Bach.)

[Rev.Vassago]

One of the few and most romantic things a woman can do for her man is to show him that he is ALL she needs or wants.

When a more handsome or physically attractive man catches you at the "bar" and tries to put a move on you, have the sense to realize it (in the first place) and then politely but loudly enough for us to hear it, simply tell him you are flattered but that you are with US and that's exactly where you WANT to be. Then return to your seat across from us and give us a look that clearly shows that you MEAN THAT!

All a man really wants is to be reassured that the woman HE picked out to be his mate is convinced that NO OTHER man could take his place. Of course, if you really FEEL that way you will show us in numerous "simple" ways... and by your EVERY action, you will not be able to "help" the fact that you are romancing us.

And if you think about it.... that is pretty much the same as a woman's idea of romance.


What you are describing is insecurity and jealousy. Solid relationships are not based on those things.

While it's nice to know that the person you love doesn't need anyone else, it's even nicer to know it without having to be reminded or have it advertised.

[golfhobo]

Rev.Vassago said:


What you are describing is insecurity and jealousy.


At some basic level, EVERY human has insecurities. The exception would be the man who is so conceited that he can't imagine his woman NOT being totally satisfied with him. Those men are known as "divorcees."


Solid relationships are not based on those things.


And.... YOU would be an expert on this? :hellno:


While it's nice to know that the person you love doesn't need anyone else, it's even nicer to know it without having to be reminded or have it advertised.


So... I can STOP sending flowers? I admit that my example was perhaps a bit extreme, but my point was that IMHO the most romantic thing a woman can do is to continually (or episodically) show me that she is still happy being WITH me, and she knows (without question) that she will feel the same way with each and every sunrise.

Although I understand the reason to periodically SHOW her that she is all I want and need, I don't want to have to "win her over" on a daily basis. Yes, "security" is very romantic to ME.

I wasn't answering FOR you.... and I didn't attack what YOU posted as an example of romance. I've SEEN examples of what I mentioned, and from my barstool, I thought it was romantic. I've also BEEN on the losing end of that scenario, and I knew before SHE did that no amount of "brownies" would make up for her lack of "committment."

I'll give a different example. Perhaps, you can shoot THIS one down, too:

When I awake in the morning, with sunlight stealing through the curtains, and the woman lying next to me awakens with a smile on her face, happy to know that I was not just a dream... that I am real and she is with me... I feel like the luckiest man in the world!

THAT is pretty much all the "romance" I need.

Everything ELSE that she does that day is just "gravy." And, unless I'm a fool, I wouldn't do ANYTHING that day to preclude having that SAME gift the next morning.

I've known many divorced women who still "respected" their EX-husbands! But, I don't know too many who hadn't come to learn that they could (or WANTED to) live WITHOUT them.

The most romantic thing a woman can do for ME... is to show me, in the simplest (and most UNrehearsed) ways... that she couldn't ask for ANY MORE out of life than to be with me.

[Rev.Vassago]

At some basic level, EVERY human has insecurities.

While this is true, it's how one deals with those insecurities that makes or breaks them. Sure - there are women and men out there who want nothing more than for their significant other to be jealous of any member of the opposite sex that they come into contact with, and be constantly worried that someone better might come along and snatch up their loved one. Personally, I would rather spend my time appreciating the woman I am with, and letting her know that I appreciate her by treating her with respect. She is not an object, and is not something to "covet".

So... I can STOP sending flowers? I admit that my example was perhaps a bit extreme, but my point was that IMHO the most romantic thing a woman can do is to continually (or episodically) show me that she is still happy being WITH me, and she knows (without question) that she will feel the same way with each and every sunrise.

Personally, I would rather spend my time respecting and adoring the woman I love than worrying about whether they are "showing me they are still happy with me". I can even give a great trucking analogy as an example. Let's say you are driving for someone. Are you more concerned about doing the best job possible, or having them constantly tell you they aren't going to fire you?

The trick to this is actually knowing what your loved one feels about you. There is a trick to this. It's not even a difficult one.



Pay attention to them.

[golfhobo]

Rev.Vassago said:


Sure - there are women and men out there who want nothing more than for their significant other to be jealous of any member of the opposite sex that they come into contact with...



Personally, I would rather spend my time respecting and adoring the woman I love than worrying about whether they are "showing me they are still happy with me".


No surprise, REV.... but, I believe you are misreading the "spirit" of my posts! :lol:

I am not talking about women who want to make their man jealous, and I'm not talking about a man who IS overly jealous and possessive.

I'm talking about that spontaneous moment when, without even thinking about it, a woman shows that she is not interested in another man's advances because she is not only content but "committed" and totally satisfied with the man she is with.

And the question was about what a MAN thinks is romantic. Nothing about adoring women OR worrying about whether they wanted to be with you. I simply stated that I find it romantic when she "precludes" me having to "worry" about it because in very simple ways, she shows me that she has NO room in her life, heart or mind for anyone but me. I guess I find being "the chosen one" to be romantic.


I can even give a great trucking analogy as an example. Let's say you are driving for someone. Are you more concerned about doing the best job possible, or having them constantly tell you they aren't going to fire you?


I ALWAYS concern myself with doing the best job possible. However, I find it romantic when the trucking company changes out a load to help me get home, or GIVES me a "hot" load because they KNOW I will get the job done (legally, of course.) Or, simply calls me in to ask me if everything is going well because they "value" my service.


The trick to this is actually knowing what your loved one feels about you. There is a trick to this. It's not even a difficult one.

Pay attention to them.


That is something I am VERY good at. My point was that if "I" recognize a situation that SHE doesn't even see as a problem, then perhaps "I" am the only one who is really paying attention to the status of the relationship. I find it romantic when SHE is also paying attention to such things.

[Rev.Vassago]

And the question was about what a MAN thinks is romantic. Nothing about adoring women OR worrying about whether they wanted to be with you.

But it has everything to do with it. If only one party in the relationship is giving, and the other party is simply taking, then the party giving will eventually grow tired of it. Hence my original post in this thread, where I stated that true romance is giving as much, or more than, you take.

[ironeagle_2006]

GHbeing romantic has nothing to do with SEX it has everything to do with making your partner realize that he/she is the one that completes you and makes your heart flutter. I thought I was in love multiple times and tried being romantic with my Ex-wife and ex GF's prior to meeting my wife however they were all like all you want is SEX not the deeper feeling I was trying to express. When you can lie in bed next to your spouse and know what she is feeling by the way she is holding you how she is laying in bed.

[golfhobo]

ironeagle said:


GH being romantic has nothing to do with SEX


Where did I mention sex?


it has everything to do with making your partner realize that he/she is the one that completes you and makes your heart flutter.


That is rudimentarily close to what I was saying.


I thought I was in love multiple times and tried being romantic with my Ex-wife and ex GF's prior to meeting my wife however they were all like all you want is SEX not the deeper feeling I was trying to express.


Perhaps, you suffered from the same inarticulation that MOST men suffer from. However, this thread is NOT about MEN being romantic.


When you can lie in bed next to your spouse and know what she is feeling by the way she is holding you how she is laying in bed.


Or, perhaps, by the smile on her face as she awakens.

I'm sorry, ironeagle. Sometimes it is hard to tell whether you are agreeing with me or arguing. I don't mean to offend.

But, this is not a question that is open for debate. Reb asked a question that I believe was intended to find out what MEN think is romantic. Not all men are the same. My opinion is as valid and informative as ANY other's.

There IS no right or wrong answer. I can't "cite the reg." There IS no regulation. :lol2:

[matcat]

i
There IS no right or wrong answer. I can't "cite the reg." There IS no regulation. :lol2:
There are no regulations just guidelines!

[Rev.Vassago]

There IS no right or wrong answer.

But there is.

[RebelDarlin]

But there is.

Rev, I have to disagree with this. There is no 'one size fits all' answer when it comes to romance. What works for one couple may not work for another. But hey, if what you do works for you and your lady, good for you, but don't think it's the only right answer.

What you keep describing is more about a relationship, not specifically what is considered romantic. Guys have it easier, flowers, jewelry, yada, yada, yada. The usual 'romantic' gestures that our society has programmed us to expect.

Personally, I think anything that shows someone that you care, and are thinking of them is romantic, but I do tend to be more practical than frivolous, which is why I come off as not being romantic, to some people.

Hobo Darlin', I'm not arguing for my limitations, I'm trying to face them realistically, and grow beyond them. And I do wake up smiling in the morning. :D Thank you!

[Rev.Vassago]

Rev, I have to disagree with this. There is no 'one size fits all' answer when it comes to romance.

So why did you ask a "one size fits all" question in the first place?;)

What works for one couple may not work for another. But hey, if what you do works for you and your lady, good for you, but don't think it's the only right answer.

As I said, there are right answers, and wrong answers. The wrong answer is pretty obvious. If you were to ask:

"What do men consider 'romantic'?",

and I said that men consider getting kicked in the nuts to be romantic, then that would be the wrong answer. Sure, the right answers aren't that obvious, but therein lies the problem. But nowhere did I ever say that there was only one answer.


What you keep describing is more about a relationship, not specifically what is considered romantic.

In my opinion, you can't have a solid relationship without romance, and romance should ultimately lead to a relationship (otherwise there's a good chance that it isn't really romance in the first place). They are intertwined.

[golfhobo]

But there is.

No, there isn't. But, if there were.... I'm sure you would misinterpret it. :clap:

[belpre122]

Oh..........I'm sorry. I got on this thread a bit late in the game. Better late than never though.;)

What is it you need to know about romance Reb? Hell, you could have just PM'd me. Disregard both Hobo and Rev, they're both amateurs.:lol: Better leave this one to Belpre, boys.:clap:

No problem that you are a first time caller, long time listener. I'm sure that I can steer you in the right direction!

Go ahead Reb, ask away...............................:thumbsup:

[RebelDarlin]

So why did you ask a "one size fits all" question in the first place?;).

It isn't a "one size fits all" question. It's a question that prompts some thought, and hopefully, an open exchange of ideas and/or opinions. Why is it that men are expected to make romantic gestures, like sending flowers, but there seems to be no equivilant 'standard' for woman to romance their man? It puzzles me. Most men I've asked don't have any idea what would be considered a romantic gesture from a woman. I get a lot of the usual 'meet him at the door in a teddy', but to me there is a distinction between being romantic and being sexy. Are men really that simple? I don't think so.



As I said, there are right answers, and wrong answers. The wrong answer is pretty obvious. If you were to ask:

"What do men consider 'romantic'?",

and I said that men consider getting kicked in the nuts to be romantic, then that would be the wrong answer. Sure, the right answers aren't that obvious, but therein lies the problem. But nowhere did I ever say that there was only one answer.

And there are some S&M aficianados who would disagree with you. :moon: There are no wrong answers, what works for some won't work for others.



In my opinion, you can't have a solid relationship without romance, and romance should ultimately lead to a relationship (otherwise there's a good chance that it isn't really romance in the first place). They are intertwined.

And I respect your opinion. I'm not sure that I agree with it, but you are as entitled to express it as anyone else. And maybe when you grow up you'll realize that other peoples opinions, whether you agree with them or not, are just as valid as yours.

[Rev.Vassago]

And I respect your opinion. I'm not sure that I agree with it, but you are as entitled to express it as anyone else. And maybe when you grow up you'll realize that other peoples opinions, whether you agree with them or not, are just as valid as yours.

Perhaps you can show me where I stated that someone's opinion here was not valid, or was less valid than mine. Because as far as I can see, I simply disagreed with someone's opinion........THE SAME EXACT THING YOU JUST DID.

I'd love for you to point out where I invalidated someone's opinion.

[dobry4u]

Guys have it easier, flowers, jewelry, yada, yada, yada.

Then you have your answer, Reb. Buy the fella Craftmans tools, Budweiser, and a new putter. :D

[jonp]

rebdarlin: perhaps when you grow up you'll realize that people can have equally valid opinions and they can also be different. That is why in the marketplace we have 109 different types of computers. Because what one persons opinion of the perfect one for him is is much different from what another persons perfect computer is.

[RebelDarlin]

rebdarlin: perhaps when you grow up you'll realize that people can have equally valid opinions and they can also be different. That is why in the marketplace we have 109 different types of computers. Because what one persons opinion of the perfect one for him is is much different from what another persons perfect computer is.


And perhaps when you learn to read you'll understand that's EXACTLY what I said.


BTW way your numbers are wrong, there are not 109 types of computers. But that isn't what this topic is about, is it?

[RebelDarlin]

Perhaps you can show me where I stated that someone's opinion here was not valid, or was less valid than mine. Because as far as I can see, I simply disagreed with someone's opinion........THE SAME EXACT THING YOU JUST DID.

I'd love for you to point out where I invalidated someone's opinion.


Originally Posted by golfhobo http://www.classadrivers.com/forum/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.classadrivers.com/forum/women-trucking/37575-serious-question-about-men-post446543.html#post446543)

There IS no right or wrong answer.
But there is.



No, there isn't. Not to my original question. There are only opinions and perceptions.

[RebelDarlin]

Then you have your answer, Reb. Buy the fella Craftmans tools, Budweiser, and a new putter. :D


If it were only that simple. I'd be willing to bet I own more tools than most men, I hate even the smell of beer, and I know NOTHING about golf. How about a Gift Card? :lol:

[Rev.Vassago]

Originally Posted by golfhobo http://www.classadrivers.com/forum/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.classadrivers.com/forum/women-trucking/37575-serious-question-about-men-post446543.html#post446543)

There IS no right or wrong answer.
But there is.



No, there isn't. Not to my original question. There are only opinions and perceptions.
Still waiting for you to show me where I invalidated someone's opinion on the original subject.....

[Cluggy619]

I am really bad at this kind of stuff (obviously why I'm still single at 50)! http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd26/headborg/smileys/Blush.gif What do men consider 'romantic'? I don't mean sexy, I can figure that part out, :lol: but what is romantic to a man. Or do they even want, or need, romance? :confused:


After reading all of what was said, All I have to say is that if you want romance, or to be romantic, buy a cheap paperback. Read it, then come to the conclusion that trying to be romantic just comes off as being fake.

Romance, true romance, comes natural. It's what you are, and what you shall be. Romance is more of a linguring though of what a person will see when they think of you. If they didn't see you in that light, they probably never will.

You can try to be romantic. Light the candles, cook the meal... tell him he's the only one till the next guy... it's all a matter of perception.

And the right person for you will already have been "romance" by just who you are....

To that guy, you are the most romantic being in their world.

Hope this helps.

Good luck.

[harleypiper]

Well Reb has anyone really answered your question?? IMHO if a man is looking for romance then he probably still takes bubble baths by himself with candles petting his cat.. Uh Oh that wasn't nice now was it? Anyway a man is only in need of having his ego stroked, weather it be his looks (or lack there of) his hair (or lack there of) his teeth (or lack there of) his muscles (or lack there of) to his bowling balls (or lack there of and so on.. Is what you should look for is if a man can romance you. Now we all have are own panty dropping techniques and quotes and so forth, but after the panties come off will the romance continue. Not meant to sound sexist but it's the down right truth, coming from a man. So I guess at 47 thats why I'm' still single. hahahahaha. Cheers!

[Jumbo]

Well Reb has anyone really answered your question?? IMHO if a man is looking for romance then he probably still takes bubble baths by himself with candles petting his cat.. Uh Oh that wasn't nice now was it? Anyway a man is only in need of having his ego stroked, weather it be his looks (or lack there of) his hair (or lack there of) his teeth (or lack there of) his muscles (or lack there of) to his bowling balls (or lack there of and so on.. Is what you should look for is if a man can romance you. Now we all have are own panty dropping techniques and quotes and so forth, but after the panties come off will the romance continue. Not meant to sound sexist but it's the down right truth, coming from a man. So I guess at 47 thats why I'm' still single. hahahahaha. Cheers!

You leave my cat out of this. Lil Jack Jack has done nothing to you.

[RebelDarlin]

Still waiting for you to show me where I invalidated someone's opinion on the original subject.....


By simply stating as fact that there are wrong answers, you invalidate peoples opinions. That is not a fact, it's your opinion, and should be stated as such. At the very least, it should be pointed out so that people will take it as such. IMHO statements like that are arrogant and intolerant and may intimidate some people to the point that it keeps them from posting. Just sayin'.

I'll agree that there may be answers that are wrong for you or me, or someone else, but that doesn't make them wrong.


Nowhere did I state that you invalidated a specific post, or poster.

[Rev.Vassago]

By simply stating as fact that there are wrong answers, you invalidate peoples opinions. That is not a fact, it's your opinion, and should be stated as such. At the very least, it should be pointed out so that people will take it as such.

Sorry I wasn't more specific for you. I figured that a thread which required people to give their opinion on a hypothetical question wouldn't need "in my opinion" before every sentence. But I notice that you haven't chastised anyone else in this thread for giving their opinions without stating beforehand that it was an opinion - just me.:roll:

[mike3fan]

You leave my cat out of this. Lil Jack Jack has done nothing to you.

Did you get him from someone?

[Slimland]

I am really bad at this kind of stuff (obviously why I'm still single at 50)! http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd26/headborg/smileys/Blush.gif What do men consider 'romantic'? I don't mean sexy, I can figure that part out, :lol: but what is romantic to a man. Or do they even want, or need, romance? :confused:


Ok RebelDarlin, I will try my hand at this, though this is what I consider Romantic.

The feel of a womans soft hands on the chest, it is that touch that not just feels good on the skin, but IMOP it is saying that "your mine and I give myself to you" not just phisicaly but emotionaly it is kinda like letting a gaurd down.. Instinctivly when My wife does this, it makes me feel like a protector, a lover, and it conveys the most emotional feeling that I cant even put into words that expresses it.. It is like she is giving herself to me, and though it is a phisical touch, it is the emotions that comeout.

Another is laying her head on my lap or chest, and if it is on the chest the hand also is there. That soft warm hand that speaks volums.

The words " I love you" is just as Romantic. Exspecialy comming from a Woman like my wife who puts more stock in action that words. So when she says that, then I am the one on the bow of the boat yelling "I am the king of the world"

It is the small things, the things that some don't even think about until it is gone.
It is the things that make a man feel like a man, the boosting of the ego in a soft suddle way.

As for sexy, Just a long Tshirt will out do any Victoria secret anyday for me.

Hope that helps.

Slimland

[ironeagle_2006]

What Slimland said is VERY true for me. The past 3 weeks for me have been HELL around here called my parents both found out that they have very serious health issues on top of their already bad health. However last night even as I has pulling my hair out and trying not to go insane with all the problems I have been dealing with due to my parents my wife out of the blue goes have I told you lately HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. It was the way she said it that told me that things were going to be fine regardlss of what happens with my parents that she will be there for me. Rebel being romantic is sometimes knowing WHEN to pull your partner back from the edge from all the stress they have been carrying also.

[Rev.Vassago]

However last night even as I has pulling my hair out and trying not to go insane with all the problems I have been dealing with due to my parents my wife out of the blue goes have I told you lately HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. It was the way she said it that told me that things were going to be fine regardlss of what happens with my parents that she will be there for me. Rebel being romantic is sometimes knowing WHEN to pull your partner back from the edge from all the stress they have been carrying also.


What you keep describing is more about a relationship, not specifically what is considered romantic.



BTW, I hope your parents are well, IE.

[ironeagle_2006]

Got the news today by the end of this year more than likely both will be dead. Mom has 4th stage Colon cancer that has spread already. Dad found out that he has Lung Cancer in his ONLY good lung.

[matcat]

Got the news today by the end of this year more than likely both will be dead. Mom has 4th stage Colon cancer that has spread already. Dad found out that he has Lung Cancer in his ONLY good lung.
Wow that sucks! My Grandmother just passed a few months ago from cancer, she had stage 5 lung cancer that had spread to the brain.

[GMAN]

Got the news today by the end of this year more than likely both will be dead. Mom has 4th stage Colon cancer that has spread already. Dad found out that he has Lung Cancer in his ONLY good lung.


I am so sorry to hear about your parents, ironeagle. My wife lost both her parents to cancer.

[everytruckjob.com]

In relationships, to be won or to be renewed, there seems to be stages of romance, appreciation, intimidation, acceptance, raw physical need, and quiet reflection.

I've always looked at relationships a bit like starting and maintaining a fire. You build a strong base of mutual interest, flirtation is the spark to to get the fire started, from there the fire gets it's first taste of real energy and burns hard and bright - but after a time it burns out that initial fuel and comes down to a steady burn; the addition of new material keeps the fire burning, and the occasional throw of gas on the flame get's it to jump - but a strong fire needs a solid fuel to see it through.

Notes in our lunch box, stuffed in our wallet... maybe tell us we don't need to suck it in quite as hard... as men we want to be "your man" and know you want to be with us - not stuck with us...

I had a girl once do the "naked on the bed in just a ****" in the middle of the afternoon, great idea - bad timing - if you have a 20 minute lunch and have to get back....well.... it was hard not to think about her and work, and hardly anything got done.

Do men need dinners and flowers? How about a day where we're told; "...today is your day..do what you want, I won't mind..." a day without a care would be about the most romantic thing a woman could do, a day where we're just men without the fear of losing the house, getting the paycheck or dealing with a boss that seems to less then care.

well, these are just my thought..hold them with a grain of sand. All men are different after all.

[Jackrabbit379]

Sorry to hear, ironeagle. My granddad died of emphysema. He smoked for years. He wouldn't have lived as long as he did, if he had not have quit.

[ironeagle_2006]

Jackrabbit I hear you my father quit 12 years ago however the damage was done. Now it is just spending as much time as I can with them. My wife and I are praying that he lives to see our last child born that is due right about the end of Spetember. My mother we think might have 8 months if so Chirstmas is going to SUCK this year AGAIN considering in 97 I had to bury my grandmother on Christmas EVE without being able to say bye to her since my company did not care enough to get me in so I could say good bye to her.

[RebelDarlin]

Alrighty then...You know Iron_Eagle, it is a sad fact of life that most of us out live our parents so at some point we have to deal with losing them. Be grateful for the time you have left with them. My Mom died in a car accident 3 days before Christmas, they cremated her on Christmas Day. No one had a chance to say good-bye to her, she was just gone.

That being said, this should have been posted in the family support forum, not as a hi-jack to this thread. Rev, can you please move IronEagles latest family crisis to the appropriate forum?


Back on topic...

Rev, no one else stated quite so emphatically that there were wrong answers to this. As you can see from reading some of the posts, what is considered romantic can be very different.

Glad to see Slim & Cluggy back and giving thoughtful responses.. And Slim I apologize for keeping Hobo so busy that you think he's ignoring you.

[Rev.Vassago]

That being said, this should have been posted in the family support forum, not as a hi-jack to this thread. Rev, can you please move IronEagles latest family crisis to the appropriate forum?

No. In your original post, you asked what men consider romantic. IronEagle told a story of something that recently happened to him, in which his wife did something he considered romantic. It is most certainly on topic.


Back on topic...

Rev, no one else stated quite so emphatically that there were wrong answers to this. As you can see from reading some of the posts, what is considered romantic can be very different.

Glad to see Slim & Cluggy back and giving thoughtful responses.. And Slim I apologize for keeping Hobo so busy that you think he's ignoring you.

This, however, is most certainly not on topic. Should I remove it? :rofl:

[belpre122]

That being said, this should have been posted in the family support forum, not as a hi-jack to this thread. Rev, can you please move IronEagles latest family crisis to the appropriate forum?

Back on topic...


Yes, well back on topic. Reb, I think that there is a coolie carrier driver out there for you somewheres. (sic) First, you must obtain a Class A CDL of your own, lose the pretentiousness and...........be nice. For starters......

I'll be sure to chime in with further guidance as I see fit. You're welcome sugar!
:moon:

[belpre122]

That being said, this should have been posted in the family support forum, not as a hi-jack to this thread. Rev, can you please move IronEagles latest family crisis to the appropriate forum?

Rebel Darlin-----------sensitive female defined. No wonder you've run 'em all off! You don't need Rev and Hobo loverboys to explain this to you. Just walk up to the mirror!

[Jumbo]

Did you get him from someone?

Steven S. from Bayshore.

[golfhobo]

Rev.Vassago said:

I figured that a thread which required people to give their opinion on a hypothetical question wouldn't need "in my opinion" before every sentence.

It was NOT a "hypothetical" question. It was (as stated in the title) a "serious" question. And NO ONE was required (or felt the need) to preface their responses with IMHO.


But I notice that you haven't chastised anyone else in this thread for giving their opinions without stating beforehand that it was an opinion - just me.:roll:


NO ONE ELSE.... but you.... ARGUED with another's opinion, or said there WERE "wrong" answers. I purposely waited several days and about 2 pages before entering the discussion. But, as soon as I DID, you chose to take the focus OFF the original question, and argue with ME about MY opinion on the matter.

Not that I would shrink from a "discussion" with you about what is romantic, but it was NOT "our" thread. Personally.... I found YOUR first post as pathetic and unimaginative... but, I didn't SAY so! But, there was NO mistaking the fact that you attacked MY first post as being an example of a "needy" or "insecure" individual.... and THAT based on a misinterpretation of what I was talking about.

What I referred to has been replicated in some form in at LEAST 3 other's opinions! But, I DOUBT you could SEE that. :roll: I'm not sure that THEY even realized the similarities of our thoughts. The hand on Slim's chest is akin to the smile I mentioned upon waking. This thread was about what a MAN thinks is romantic.

Reb can't SHOW you an example of "invalidating" MY (or others') opinions, because you don't HAVE that power! What she showed you was your incessant need to DISCOUNT (or argue with) another's opinion... as if YOURS was the only "correct" one. [or more precisely, that MINE had to be somewhat invalid or infirm.]

Even IronEagle's FIRST post about his wife taking some stress off of him was HIS idea of romance. No one (not even REB) argued that point. And in YOUR defense, you said BTW.... I hope your parents are okay (paraphrased.)

Does ANYONE really understand what "by the way" means? It means, OFF TOPIC... OFF the "way" .... and AS A BESIDE NOTE....and then whatever you want to say. It is meant NOT to "hijack" a thread! IronEagle took that as an opportunity to discuss the most PERSONAL and depressing aspects of his PERSONAL life and others joined in. That most certainly SHOULD have been moved to the "family support" forum! It had NOTHING to do with romance.... and was a BUZZKILLER on a thread ABOUT "romance." [We "invade" the WOMEN IN TRUCKING forum often enough!]

And NOW.... in an effort to defend REB, and to a lesser degree, myself... I have now continued the "hijacking" of this thread, and that gives me NO comfort!

I will be surprised if THIS post doesn't "disappear" the way my "no such thing as east of the 80th parallel" one did! I guess when something gets "off topic" you just DELETE it! :hellno:

Unless, of course, it is YOU who goes off topic! :thumbsdown:

[Rev.Vassago]

Does ANYONE really understand what "by the way" means? It means, OFF TOPIC... OFF the "way" .... and AS A BESIDE NOTE....and then whatever you want to say. It is meant NOT to "hijack" a thread! IronEagle took that as an opportunity to discuss the most PERSONAL and depressing aspects of his PERSONAL life and others joined in. That most certainly SHOULD have been moved to the "family support" forum! It had NOTHING to do with romance.... and was a BUZZKILLER on a thread ABOUT "romance." [We "invade" the WOMEN IN TRUCKING forum often enough!]

It isn't your call. You are not a moderator.

I will be surprised if THIS post doesn't "disappear" the way my "no such thing as east of the 80th parallel" one did! I guess when something gets "off topic" you just DELETE it! :hellno:

I have no idea what post of yours got deleted. I rarely delete posts, and don't even recall seeing the post you are referring to. The last I checked, there were at least five moderators on this board (not counting site owners) who have the power to delete posts.

[golfhobo]

Rev.Vassago said:


It isn't your call. You are not a moderator.


HaHa! Y'all couldn't PAY me enough to be a moderator on this board! But, I have a mind like a steel trap. I KNOW you have moved such posts to other forums before... and you DIDN'T move THIS one! I really don't care!

No... it WASN'T my "call." It was my OPINION! (AFTER the opinon of the O.P. who ASKED/Suggested that it be moved...Did you tell HER that she was not a mod?)

I've heard SEVERAL posters say that a post/thread should be moved. I've seen your response... DONE! I KNOW the "unwarranted" powers you have! I guess I waa surprised by your "selectivity."



I have no idea what post of yours got deleted. I rarely delete posts, and don't even recall seeing the post you are referring to. The last I checked, there were at least five moderators on this board (not counting site owners) who have the power to delete posts.



HeeHaw! ROFLMAO! Thanks, Rev! I needed a good laugh! You've deleted more "posts" than Bush has deleted critical emails! Nixon bows down to you!

But, again.... this is NOT ON TOPIC. If you'd like to have a discussion about moderating, or missing posts, I suggest we take it elsewhere. I'm starting to feel guilty about YOUR need to hijack Reb's thread!

FYI.... I was talking about Kevin's thread about "the correct way." Toward the end of the thread, it strayed into some comment about "people east of the 80th parallell being stupid or such." Several posts followed. I made a simple post that there was NO SUCH THING as EAST of the 80th parallel.

MY POST.... and about a day's worth before it.... got deleted. I thought it had to do with the "maintenance," but I couldn't rationalize that as it took place a day or more AFTER the PST maintenance time.

There are NOT 5 moderators "active" on this board. There is YOU and Gman. I don't think GMAN would have deleted my post. I'm absolutely sure that I saw it appear ON THE BOARD. Then, I couldn't even find it in my "posts by hobo" on my own page.

You know.... we "mortals" can't even delete our OWN posts without typing something like the word "deleted" into the space. .....and must do so within a short period of time. But, YOU can make them disappear without even so much as a **** you or an explanation.

Dammit! I'm sorry, REB! I DID say I wanted to MOVE this discussion! I'm sorry for hijacking your thread even FURTHER than it already was!

If you REALLY want to know how to "romance" a man, meet me halfway some time, and I'll show you what it takes!

I KNOW you aren't interested in Belpre. An Indiana redneck has no standing with a classy lady like you! But, I got my EYE on Jumbo! That driver kinda "gets it." :lol2:

[Rev.Vassago]

No... it WASN'T my "call." It was my OPINION! (AFTER the opinon of the O.P. who ASKED/Suggested that it be moved...Did you tell HER that she was not a mod?)

I've heard SEVERAL posters say that a post/thread should be moved. I've seen your response... DONE! I KNOW the "unwarranted" powers you have! I guess I waa surprised by your "selectivity."

If someone asks that their own thread/post be moved/deleted/locked, we will do it as a courtesy to the poster who created the content. If someone asks that someone else's thread/post be moved, then it is up to the mods to decide if it is warranted. In this case, I felt that it wasn't, as the original reason the subject got brought up was in relation to the original topic. The fact that the thread took a different direction than what the OP would have liked is secondary.

FYI.... I was talking about Kevin's thread about "the correct way." Toward the end of the thread, it strayed into some comment about "people east of the 80th parallell being stupid or such." Several posts followed. I made a simple post that there was NO SUCH THING as EAST of the 80th parallel.

MY POST.... and about a day's worth before it.... got deleted. I thought it had to do with the "maintenance," but I couldn't rationalize that as it took place a day or more AFTER the PST maintenance time.

I can assure you that I didn't delete them. I'm not even aware of the posts that you are referring to.

There are NOT 5 moderators "active" on this board. There is YOU and Gman.

You would be wrong.

[matcat]

Rev is right about the mods, there are a few that login invisible, and there is a way to tell when they last logged in too even if they did it invisible but I am not going to share that information.

[golfhobo]

Rev.Vassago said:


If someone asks that their own thread/post be moved/deleted/locked, we will do it as a courtesy to the poster who created the content. If someone asks that someone else's thread/post be moved, then it is up to the mods to decide if it is warranted. In this case, I felt that it wasn't, as the original reason the subject got brought up was in relation to the original topic. The fact that the thread took a different direction than what the OP would have liked is secondary.


I really have NO problems with your decisions on this matter, Rev. But, I do contend that the thread took a detour into some personal problems that IronEagle seems to always have. The original poster DID ask that his responses be "moved." In YOUR mind, you decided not to. So be it. Then there is OUR little "discussion." I asked or suggested that it should be moved... AGAIN you declined. That's 2 out of 2 requests from 2 DIFFERENT members (one of which was the O.P.) that YOU overrode!

So, here we are... STILL discussing something that HIJACKS the original thread. If THAT is the way you want this board to go, well then... why do we even NEED a moderator?

Oh.... and did you notice that your "hijacking" the thread into a discussion between us about moderating and such, has not ONLY taken away from our discussion of "romance," but has also silenced all OTHER posters?

You haven't questioned or argued with ONE single thing I've said about the original topic since you began discussing your rights/responsibilities as s moderator.

YOU might find your powers and responsibilites "exciting," but I do not.

I am just "burning" inside to discuss what YOU (as a divorced man) know about romance that I (as a divorced man with 20 years on you) apparently don't know.


I can assure you that I didn't delete them. I'm not even aware of the posts that you are referring to.


I take you at your word on this, Rev. It is no problem OTHER than the fact that it seems to be a recurring situation on this board. I don't know about "others," but I hate to spend an hour composing a post only to find it deleted. In this case, it was just a simple observation, but best I can tell, an entire train of thought by Kevin was lost along with my short answer.


You would be wrong.


No I wouldn't. I am NEVER wrong. I was "mistaken" once.... but, that was years ago.

Name the 5 moderators who are active, so I can check their profile for their last posts.

[Rev.Vassago]

Oh.... and did you notice that your "hijacking" the thread into a discussion between us about moderating and such, has not ONLY taken away from our discussion of "romance," but has also silenced all OTHER posters?

And here I thought that this "hijacking" was caused by your incessant arguing about something that didn't even involve you originally. But Rebel Darlin can thank you for the fact that the discussion is now ended.