The Driving Life Across the Pond - A Life of Wot

[wot i life]

I,ve been asked to write about driving experiences in Europe and the United Kingdom; The difficulties faced by a British driver when abroad
are not as numerous as you may think. There are the obvious ones such as language and driving on the wrong side of the road(sorry but the British way is best... :shock: LOL)
Before I start in earnest writing about the problems, highlights and laughs of driving abroad and over here, I,d like to first give a little background to myself and explain why I became a professional driver.
(This won,t take long, honest... )
I left school in the early 80,s and followed my father in to the local steel works. I hated it and quickly left to join the navy. Eventually rising to 3RD officer, I left the navy in disgrace in 1988. A glittering career lay in ruins for the sake of my indulgence in smoking "Weed".
I was destitute, distraught and friendless.
At that point in my life, I could,nt see any future for myself at all.
Until I spoke to a truck driver one day and he suggested trying to gain an H.G.V licence. It had an immediate appeal to me as I,d hated my only spell of working indoors with all the restrictions and confinements therein.
To pay for my licence, I took a job sweeping the streets around my area for a laughable wage. I saved every penny I could and in January 1989 I took and passed my H.G.V.
And thats when I finally encountered "real problems"......
To be continued...... :wink:

[ken_o]

to be cont wot
more i need more

[wot i life]

to be cont wot
more i need more

Unfortunately mate, time difference is gonna spoil it today...
It,s sleepy cuddly time here.....(I,m on my way Gill darling xxxxx )
More tomorrow mate :wink:

[classicxl]

you are leaving us in suspense :evil:

[Roadhog]

Allz I'm sayin' dis guy...Wot...for now remain's to be seen dis guy.
I'm not makin' him for dis ...what thing were lookin' at him for...dis guy,
just Wot is who were lookin' at, allz I'm sayin'.

With November sweeps comin' up...seems very convieniant CAD is in bed with dis guy.
CAD bein' in direct competition with TV networks for viewers and all.
Were not sayin' we figure he's da guy...but this has drugs involved and street dealings
....and as far as that goes, what is Wot.

It's good to be upfront about what is, and so forth.
What is Wot? I don't know, more needs to be found out,
but I'm likin' him for it ...dis guy.

[Useless]

I left school in the early 80,s and followed my father in to the local steel works. I hated it and quickly left to join the navy. Eventually rising to 3RD officer, I left the navy in disgrace in 1988. A glittering career lay in ruins for the sake of my indulgence in smoking "Weed".I was destitute, distraught and friendless.

To be continued...... :wink:

I didn't know that the Brits were so tough on smoking weed.

[wot i life]

I didn't know that the Brits were so tough on smoking weed.

Oh, we,re not now...
Just so long as you,re not smoking walking up the Pall Mall :shock: :wink:

[wot i life]

As with any newly qualified driver, I soon found out that every potential employer wants experience. Decades may come and go and the shape of trucks may change; But that attitude is the same now as it was then. Nobody will give you a break.
Not wanting to be beaten(or starve to death) I took a job driving a rigid truck delivering furniture and doing house removals. And boy, am I glad that I did that. You see, in order to load someones household belongings onto a 38ft rigid, you have to park as close to their house as is possible, right?... So, in my very first job(driving a truck that my licence said was too small for me) I struggled and huffed and puffed, cursing every car that was badly parked. But, I learnt the value of my kerb side mirror, the need to exercise caution when close quarter manouvering, and, the neccessity in taking care of the load.
After something like a year doing that, I felt it was time to move on. Onwards and upwards(or so I thought). I may not have driven an artic in anger(sorry for pun) but I felt my driving was improving enough to talk my way in somewhere,anywhere.

That anywhere turned out to be the job that gave me so many trials,laughs,heartbreak,excitement and so much more.
I was heading to Europe. Not immediately, and at the time I joined them, I did,nt even know what was coming!

I had been sitting in a truck stop, taking a break and drinking truck stop tea; The kind of tea that has brewed since 4 A.M and has taken on the composition of mud, slowly fermenting in a huge urn and begrudginly tended to by a chain smoking, obese, repugnant natured woman who did,nt really like truckers.
The driver sitting opposite me smiled and nodded his head in her direction, pulling a chimpanzee style face as he did so(drivers humour will never change, you can,t defeat us Mr politically correct man)
The two of us struck up a conversation and I learned that he drove for a company in my hometown that would be willing to at least hear me out and possibly give me a road test. Made more possible by the fact that he would say he knew me..."This is Kev, he,s ok; You,ll like him, give him a try"
And so, a day was set and I had to prove my worth in a road test, or garage test as they were then called.
"This is Billy, our number one driver; He,ll take you out and see what you,re like" said the manager.
Billy? the same Billy that not half an hour past had told you he knew me?
Even though I had never seen him until this last week?
The same Billy that pulled faces at tea ladies?
Ha ha ha... Some test! Wot the driver was born that day
T.B.C

[classicxl]

keep in coming

[wot i life]

keep in coming

Thank you classicxl, its pleasing to know you,re enjoying my story. I,ll try to keep it like this all the way through? :wink:

[wot i life]

After my "test" with Billy, I was offered a job on night trunk work going between Newcastle upon Tyne and Liverpool.
Night trunking work is a common first foothold in real trucking for a lot of U.K drivers, the theory being; They,re on the road in off peak hours, little traffic and usually just one destination; A process of confidence building if you like.
My first night was awful, although I must state, the weather was fine, roads were dry, and very little traffic about. The problem? Well, the problem was ME. I was so eager to make a good impression that I told the night manager I had been driving for about a year, whilst this was true, it was also true that it had been in a rigid truck with a straight six gearbox. "Can you handle an eton twin splitter?" asked my night manager. Could I? Could I?..... Could I hell!
Of course I said that I could rather than look like a total newbie and have to be shown. Oh, for the benefit of hindsight! As we all (now) know, driving is a lifelong learning curve. One never totally masters it, one never knows it all, drivers are not born! They are instructed, they learn, they listen,observe, anticipate.
Well, I didn,t!
Here was Wot, the Worlds first natural born driver I thought, and boy, was I gonna show everyone how damn clever I was.
The thing with an eton twin split(for those who have never seen one) is that climbing the gears is particurlarly easy(I had been told only to use the clutch when moving off) and so, Wot sped out of the yard looking for all the world like the consummate professional.
Unfortunately for the young, inexperienced and reluctant to ask for help Wot, trucks and cars and buses or things with gears generally need to slow down or stop at junctions.
Aha I hear you say!
What about reducing the speed and going down the box?
And THAT is where the eton box will catch the little fish out....
CRUNCH. GRIND. CRUNCH
Why won,t this bloody thing work? I cursed and declared war.
Doubling the clutch? Won,t work!
Brute force and ignorance? Won,t work!
"Sorry boys, I,m breaking down"
Hazard lights on, pull over to the side and start again, up the box. Yeah, up the box is good, I can handle that. Looking good, I,m looking good...
Onto the motorway and flying along, arm out of the window, cigarette in hand, Johnny Cash on tape, I say, this is the life boy! Eat your heart out Mr Kristoffersson, I,m the real deal!
****e ****e ****e... Coming up "Windy Hill" climb it in top gear you pile of ****e! You,re making me look bad.
A few old boys went past with a knowing look on their faces, the sympathetic type of smile that I now give to younger versions of myself.
Oh where are you Billy?
I need your help!
I had learnt a valuable lesson
TBC

[Roadhog]

:? ...are we gonna get to the French femme fatale' hitchhikers anytime soon?? ooolala...

[wot i life]

:? ...are we gonna get to the French femme fatale' hitchhikers anytime soon?? ooolala...

Funny you should say that..... I,ll be telling two very interesting stories later; One happened in Metz and the other.... Oh God I,m not so sure about telling that :wink:

[Roadhog]

................if you have a story ****tier than the one about the filipino squids....just think of the viewer ratings....

....check your Journalism License endorsements.....you can make Dmitri your team driving partner....ummmm for the questionable conduct. :P



( Dmitri Lisp thuania )

[wot i life]

I don,t know where the hell you find those from, but, they aint half funny

[classicxl]

sounds like my first day at driving school shifted up fine and then sound like i was grinding bones on the way down

[wot i life]

Going back in the next night, I knew I needed help, I,d made myself look pretty stupid on my first night and regardless of how stupid it was to ask on the second evening, I was gonna do it.
Step forward Bobby Atkinson to the rescue.
Bobby was semi-retired and worked in the yard part-time, parking trailers and loading guys for the next trip etc. Approaching Bobby for help was the single best move I ever made! What he did,nt know about trucks or the roads in Europe just aint worth knowing.
Bobby and I got on from the start; He told me that he was only too willing to help a new driver, as he put it "You need it son, I saw you park that thing up when you came back two hours late"
Bobby instantly put me on his "Sunday slave duties"... That is, I had to come in to work on Sundays and work for free and do the bulk of his chores, in return, I would benefit from his vast experience and he,d show me how to rope n sheet, reverse properly, and last but not least, a half hour drive every Sunday on the road with him.
Bobby gradually coaxed me along and my confidence grew and grew.
Because of his help, the manager noticed how I was getting on and asked me to come in early one thursday night.
I went in absolutely crapping myself thinking "Yeah, you, ve done ok son, but things have taken a slight downturn so we,re gonna have to let you go"
How wrong I was!
Thursday night I knocked on the managers door and stood waiting to be called in,heart pounding, palms sweating, I felt like a condemned man awaiting the rope.
"Now then Wot, I notice you,ve been working Sundays and Bobby,s got you well trained up" says boss man
I praised my mentor for his help but also seized the chance to lavish praise upon myself, I had after all, improved 100% beyond all recognition in just three months.
And then came the words that knocked me clean off my feet and sent my head reeling in all directions...
" Do you think you can handle European work?"
I had just over fifteen months experience of Britains roads and I was being offered a chance to go over the water.....In a trance like state I vaguely recollect saying something like "Cor yeah, I ,ll have some of that"
And so it was. I was to finish night trunking that very evening and follow my friend who pulled faces, Billy, the guy who gave me my first break, all the way to Italy.
As I walked back out into the yard, a group of drivers, including old Bobby , were standing in a circle talking.
Seeing Bobby in the group, I immediately wandered across to give my good news; Unknown to me though, everyone already knew(drivers are a shifty, cagey lot who often know more than they let on)
Peter, the number one U.K only driver(never crossing the water) looked at me and said "Huh, You? you going European? you don,t even know your way around England yet, how the hell are You gonna get to Italy?"
"Go down France and turn left" says Wot!
"Thats my boy, thats my boy" said old Bobby
TBC

[ken_o]

i dont know about your driving but you tell can a story damm well, schould of been a writer.

[classicxl]

I see some some serious laughs and troubles for you coming in this story keep it coming

[wot i life]

i dont know about your driving but you tell can a story damm well, schould of been a writer.

Thank you very much. Maybe I,ll write a book some day :wink: