best comeback of the day

[okie]

Cruising along I--44 around Joplin the other day. I assume this group of three identical company trucks merging on to the hiway was responsible for the chuckle. As the first two are noticeably pulling away from the third. One says over the CB; "Wow, I must weigh a whole lot more than you guys!" and with one of the fastest comebacks ever one says; "yea, I was meaning to say something to you about that, when I saw you waddling away from the Flying J Buffet yesterday." It made me chuckle.

[Biscuit Lips]

You should get a local job and spend time with actual people.

[mike3fan]

You should get a local job and spend time with actual people.

yawn.....

[still bullhauler]

It was late july, west bound on I 94 between Gary and Chicago, around midnight, the traffic is heavy but the road works is a *****. three lanes down to one, runnig with a kentucky bullhauler nome of Ron loaded with bulls for long prairie min, we are in the centere lane four wheelers just screeming by, Ron pulls over into the hammer lane I pull a long side. now we have control, when the cb lights up. hey bullhauler what makes you so special, and with out missing a beat, Ron comes back my mama didnt your mama tell you you were special.

[Biscuit Lips]

It was late july, west bound on I 94 between Gary and Chicago, around midnight, the traffic is heavy but the road works is a *****. three lanes down to one, runnig with a kentucky bullhauler nome of Ron loaded with bulls for long prairie min, we are in the centere lane four wheelers just screeming by, Ron pulls over into the hammer lane I pull a long side. now we have control, when the cb lights up. hey bullhauler what makes you so special, and with out missing a beat, Ron comes back my mama didnt your mama tell you you were special.

HOLY SMOKES MAN, lay off the high-speed chicken speed before you try to type so the rest of us have a some chance of interperting that garble!

[okie]

No I will stick to my Regional Dedicated job thanks. Back under a loaded trlr. take it for a ride, bump dock, open door, let someone else unload it, shut door go to next stop, let someone unload it. Its last stop so they then sweep it out for me. I get paid $20 bucks a stop, honestly I don't know why I don't do anything. Head back fuel reefer, maybe I take a 2nd run maybe I don't. All for an average of 2500 miles per week, 2 days off, terminal 15 minutes from my house. Hate to get into the salary so we will say its almost 3 times more than my gov't job salary. I don't brag about my salary by quoting gross pay like everyone else. I quote net.

[ct77]

Running the gorge I-40, at every corner there is a splash of brown manure covering the corner in various lengths and patterns. Since I have seen this before I knew it was cow manure sloshing out of a bull hauler.
On the CB,
First driver"careful mud in the curves is pretty slick!"
Second driver"driver thats not mud thats s*** from a cattle hauler"
First driver(dead serious)"he must be going pretty fast to scare the s*** out of the cows that way"

[Parrotheadfla]

[FONT="Century Gothic"][SIZE="6"]I HAVE NO SKELETONS IN MY CLOSET,THEY ALL HANG OUT ON THE COUCH WITH ME.THEY EAT MY CHIPS AND DRINK MY BEER.but at least i am not alone!

[ronjon619]

CB 1- "Anybody want to take this puppy off my hands? I can't have him in the truck any longer."

CB 2- "What kind of puppy is it?"

CB 1-"His mommy is a collie and his daddy is a JB Hunt driver!"

I had to pull over. I was starting to cry from laughing so hard.

[slowmover]

CB 1- "Anybody want to take this puppy off my hands? I can't have him in the truck any longer."

CB 2- "What kind of puppy is it?"

CB 1-"His mommy is a collie and his daddy is a JB Hunt driver!"

I had to pull over. I was starting to cry from laughing so hard.

Man, that feels just like late-at-night through Alabama or Georgia hearing that (and cracking up).

[Blacksheep]

HOLY SMOKES MAN, lay off the high-speed chicken speed before you try to type so the rest of us have a some chance of interperting that garble!

You mean high speed chicken feed ?

[Windwalker]

[font="Century Gothic"][size="6"]I HAVE NO SKELETONS IN MY CLOSET,THEY ALL HANG OUT ON THE COUCH WITH ME.THEY EAT MY CHIPS AND DRINK MY BEER.but at least i am not alone!

Ahhh... Florida... The land of DRUNKS, DRUG ADDICTS, and DERELICTS... Yeah, I'll bet you don't eat alone. Do they leave enough for you?

[DaveP]

I heard the usual CB Rambos threatening to kick each others azz the other day going thru Houston...

One guy was saying..."Damn right I'll pull over azzwipe...but first I gotta warn you...I DON'T PLAY. I'll stop, but I DON'T PLAY. In fact I quit school in the 3rd grade cause they kept having recess...I DON'T PLAY!!!"

[Southron]

It was late july, west bound on I 94 between Gary and Chicago, around midnight, the traffic is heavy but the road works is a *****. three lanes down to one, runnig with a kentucky bullhauler nome of Ron loaded with bulls for long prairie min, we are in the centere lane four wheelers just screeming by, Ron pulls over into the hammer lane I pull a long side. now we have control, when the cb lights up. hey bullhauler what makes you so special, and with out missing a beat, Ron comes back my mama didnt your mama tell you you were special.

Dude, it's called spell-check! Try it before you select "post"

[Southron]

Ok, this was way back when I was a county jailer in Fort worth, TX.

We had this jail corporal... Cpl Homer Hannah. Cpl Hannah was and old school Blue Dog Democrat.

One day I was returning from my dinner break and Cpl Hannah just happened to get into the elevator with me. Right away he started to tell me a joke. "Officer Childs, what's the most dangerous thing in wartime?"

Without missing a beat, I responded, "A Democrat in the White House?"

He didn't think that was funny.