Amusing factual stories - real life experiences in trucking

[Doctor Who]

Has anyone seen a Honda civic going down the highway with a 6 foot green conical thing tied to the top????

It is more than an aging trucker can stand....

Yes the tree did come off the Japanese wonder machine and caused quite a stir amongst all the commuters. Got to love the genius of the Holiday crowd.. Mass hysteria during the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve... Makes for great entertainment!

[Random_Facts]

Has anyone seen a Honda civic going down the highway with a 6 foot green conical thing tied to the top????

It is more than an aging trucker can stand....

Yes the tree did come off the Japanese wonder machine and caused quite a stir amongst all the commuters. Got to love the genius of the Holiday crowd.. Mass hysteria during the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve... Makes for great entertainment!

Nope never, But that would sure be "interesting" to see. lol. people go extreme when tieing things on top of there passenger like cars. It's nuts.

[Doctor Who]

Sweet potatoes committing suicide, bed-liners not happy with their function?

What to say to a naked woman or two...

All coming up after the fat dude in the RED SUIT falls down my chimney and leaves me a lead on a publisher willing to take on the writings of a slightly demented traveler...

[ron40xc]

Have to contribute:
3rd day otr. I was westbound on I10 in Brownsville, TX. I spotted the dark sky in front of me and didn't give it much thought whilst cruising along over the rolling hills through town. Had a load of paper from an AL paper mill and was looking forward to seeing NM. About 1/2 way through I drove into a wall of water and I mean a wall. About the same time a Silver SUV decided to capture the lane I was in just as I crested the little hill and began to gain speed on the down side. I had NO idea where the wiper switch was (third day out) and caught a serious case of panic. All I could think of was "Don't slam on the brakes and create a jack-knife" and I tried to feather the brakes while searching for the wiper switch ... I was gaining on her and could not see the back of her rig and decided that maybe a little horn would help. I laid on the air and just as quick as it started she darted into the adjacent lane, the rain let up, and it was all over. That was the day I gained serious respect for many things trucking related.

[ron40xc]

Have to contribute:
I was westbound on I10 in Brownsville, TX.

Oooops, I meant Beaumont, TX. Need geography lessons too I guess ...

[.243Winchester]

More road construction fun or, Tales from the Interstate

First a disclaimer; Anyone, who, speeds through a construction zone should be chained to a post along side the zone and get the feel of other vehicles breezing by just inches away from their valued body parts!!!

While assisting the paving foreman, Jamie, a few days ago we witnessed and almost became the victims of an ******* from one of the Northern states, who, found it great sport to drive around the barrels into the lane of construction to pass other vehicles. The LEO guarding the zone pulled the guy behind the barrels just a few feet from where we were standing. The LEO jumped out of his cruiser approached the motorist and the first thing that was asked: "Do you normally drive STUPID at home!!!!"
In unison, Jamie and I just said: "DAMN!!!!"
The driver did end up being escorted off to the local concrete Hilton for much need "stress" management and a $500 fine....

One side note: I called the safety people at Werner after following one of the big BLUE trucks as the driver found it fun to knock the barrels over as he plodded along in the "SLOW" speed zone. At first, I thought it was a depth perception problem but after a mile of dodging the orange and white plastic objects the call was placed.
I did get a return call form the safety department and was told the problem was corrected... It remains to be seen...

Another observation: Beetle person, I have to compliment one of 1CCC's drivers. This driver was the most courteous drivers I have seen in a long time...

Doc,

In the late 80's I worked road construction for a small specialty paving company out of Lincoln Ca. We traveled up and down CA moving in, laying down some asphalt dike(not to be confused with the female type), rolling up shop and driving to the next destination.

A lot of our work was night work and it was brutal to say the least. Not so much in the work, but in the behaviour of the driving public. We had people throw bottles and trash at us out of their car windows while whizzing by at 60 MPH three feet from us, we had a guy shot in the stomach by a sweet guy who was annoyed that we'd closed his favorite off ramp, all sorts of wonderful treatment.

A quick story. One January we were doing a long stretch of dike on hwy. 99 near Modesto. It was a week long job, lots of miles of dike, so we had to set up a couple miles of cones. Oh, and it was foggy. Pea soup tule fog foggy. The kind where you get 60 car pileups because as most people know you should drive really fast in dense fog.

The first morning, just after setting up the cones we were waiting for the first load of mix, and down the road from the depth of the fog we could hear a car coming up the row of cones and knocking them down.

Flap, flap, flap, flap etc. for what seemed like forever. Finally coming out of the fog at way too fast a speed comes a 65 Mustang with a teenager behind the wheel, laughing like crazy.

We weren't too amused as we had to go back and set the cones up again, which we did.

Next morning, just after the cones go up same thing happens, we hear the cones being run over for a mile and out of the fog comes the Mustang with the jackass kid in it.

We were less amused than the previous day, and back we went to set the cones up.

An hour later I was walking behind the 10 wheeler pulling our conveyer and my partner hands me an orange cone and says, "hold this upside down on the ground". I ask him why. He says, "just do it". I held the cone and he proceeded to fill it with semi-cool asphalt. Suddenly the light bulb went on and I just started to laugh.

Next morning we put the cones out, with the asphalt filled cone mixed in towards the end of the run. A few minutes later out of the foggy soup we hear the cones being run down. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, BANG! and the sound of tires screeching. We just looked at each other and started to laugh. Not long after here comes the mustang going much slower than normal with a caved in front bumper and a mangled grill.

We just smiled and waved and the kid drove by pretending not to notice us. The little SOB never ran over our cones again.

[yoopr]

Have to contribute:
I was westbound on I10 in Brownsville, TX.

Oooops, I meant Beaumont, TX. Need geography lessons too I guess ...

LOL-one of the pre-requisites of truck driving :P

[Twilight Flyer]

Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, BANG!

Now that was funny!

[Doctor Who]

Recently, my bride of 25 years discovered a page from the journal and asked me why I didn't tell her about the incident scribbled on the paper.

I told her that there really was nothing to tell....

As mentioned elsewhere in this epic I mentioned that I did a part time gig with Purolator Courier.

On a rather warm, for New Jersey, spring day I made a delivery to a house in an upscale neighbourhood in northern New Jersey. I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door. I rang the bell one more time and was ready to leave when, I heard a voice from the backyard telling to come through the gate.
Well, not wanting to bring the package back I went through the gate and rounded the corner of the house to find a middle aged woman sunbathing in a lounge chair on the patio.

I handed her the package and asked her to sign the run sheet all the while trying not to look at her and also worrying that her spouse may step out and beat me severely.

Needless to say I left the backyard in a hurry. When I got back to the truck I radioed the dispatch person and told him that I needed to take a break to cool off and calm down. He asked me why but I wouldn't tell him until I got back to the terminal.

I did say to my bride that there was really nothing to tell. She stayed mad for about a half hour then asked if the woman was pretty. I told her that I didn't really notice as I kept my eyes closed most of the time and that I wasn't attracted to "older" women!!

[Doctor Who]

Orange spots on an Interstate or, MORE FUN WITH FLYING OBJECTS!!!

A while back I was cruising east bound on I-40 and kept noticing orange blotches on the concrete, some in the left lane and a multitude in the right lane. The phenomenon peaked my curiosity until, I came up behind a bottom-dump trailer loaded down with little brown objects. Nothing unusual for an agriculture state but what was interesting was, the little brown objects were leaping off the left side of the trailer not the right. I eased the my tank wagon into the left lane and attempted to call the driver of the "suicide" wagon on the CB. A small disclaimer: I very rarely use a CB however, in this case, I made an exception.

I asked the driver if he knew how to tarp the load he was hauling. The response was mostly incoherent which, didn't surprise me at all. I then figured a little levity would be better so, I asked the driver if he had noticed that his passengers were exiting before they paid the fare. More incoherence.

I gave up and passed the truck. As I was pulling back in to the right lane I noticed a Black and Silver with flashing blue pulling up behind the bottom dump.
Got to hand it to a "concerned citizen"

I could just imagine the dispatcher issuing the call: "I-40 eastbound, truck losing sweet potatoes......"

[Doctor Who]

Another FLYING OBJECT TALE

A while back during a day filled with high wind gusts I met up with a fellow petroleum hauler who, had an experience to share.
The driver was traveling north on US301 when a Nissan pick-up left a parking lot and a huge gust of wind blew the bed-liner out of the vehicle.
I asked him if the bed-liner do any damage and he told me it just scared the **** out of him. I then asked him if that was the first time he had seen such an event. he did say yes.

Well, it would have been the first for me too if I was witness to the event.

Flashing forward to later that day. My daughter came home from work and entered the house in a very angry mood. I did ask her what had happened and she told me that she was leaving her place of employment to get lunch and a gust of wind yanked the bed-liner out of her pick-up. I just laughed a little and told her that it did scare the **** out of James.
She did look a bit confused. I then told her that James, the petro hauler, was behind her on 301 when the liner flew out.

[Doctor Who]

A shocking moment in "HOME DELIVERY" coming soon or, the last installment of What To Say To A Naked Lady

Alan Funt has nothing to fear!!!!

Stay tuned!!!!

[cdltpx]

Just yesterday I was examined by DR. Who but he spells it Hu I guess he is Chinese. True story Gonzales La. look him up.
Here it goes my first day on the job as a trucker. I didn't have too much experience in any truck other than a u-haul or my grand fathers winch truck. At least the u-haul had brakes that was good the winch truck did not but we never went on the open road with the winch truck and in a junk yard all you have to do to stop is rub against some junk and you will stop but the interviewer at Bond paving didn't ask questions and I failed to mention it.
It was 1986 Gulfport Ms. I applied at Bond paving and was given a road test Gary did the road test the vehicle was a little 6 wheeled GMC dump truck gas powered it was more like driving a pickup truck but with a lot more weight than I could imagine. The stopping distance was soon realized when I stopped mid way of the intersection at the first red light. I was trying to be smooth on the stop but learned I had to drive much slower than usual, Gary was cool and just observed and I explained that I really didn't have too much experience driving fully loaded trucks he remained quiet unimpressed not surprised just quiet. We get to the place where we were to unload the truck and had placed one of the truck tires on the sidewalk to position the truck to back to where the grey haired man was working. When he noticed that I was on the sidewalk he walked up to the truck steaming and screaming he was operating a bomag (a hand positioned steamroller) and just walked away from the machine letting it proceed unmanned until another worker ran over and stopped the wayward machine Mr. James Bond was so angry he snapped and just went into tunnel vision in an attempt to prevent damage to a sidewalk I didn't know that I could damage sidewalks with the heavy truck. I was so green at the time they still had the blue and yellow in separate jars. It was at this point Gary said I better take over from here. I watched every move, as he was involved in getting off the asphalt from the tiny dump truck each little dump then the loaded dump box slammed down onto the frame. He instructed me what to do to keep the bed of the truck clean and to my surprise when we arrived back to the yard Gary was asked well can he drive He said sure he can the man in the window said ok be here 06:00 bring a lunch and water. Back then things were very different and you learned as you went along. I was able to grandfather in on the cdl so I didn't get a real road test with a dot officer until 1994 when I progressed to a class A CDLTPX. Hard knocks is a different kind of school but I have to confess it is a more expensive school because of all the lost money had I just went to a trucking school when I turned 21 I would have been on my way to top pay inside of 2 years my way of driving local then going OTR was expensive if you are in the same situation of blue and yellow yet combined get to a school before you get green. I have to confess that driving in a construction zone day in and out really got me to think how to communicate with others we are communicating when driving weather you realize it or not. My current wife would marvel that when we were dating I could tell her on multiple occasions slow down this person is turning left very soon she would ask how I knew this every time. I said after years of driving you pick up on folks tells and can keep a healthy following distance if you just observe the information it is there all you have to do is be open enough to recieve it. I like to go on happily achieving rather than achieving to be happy it is a better place to enjoy the journey of life.

[Doctor Who]

Since I’m not riding on 18 wheels anymore I thought the entertainment value of the motoring public would be long gone. I was wrong. I have discovered a whole new source of entertainment… Home Delivery!!!

On one occasion my partner and I made a delivery of a washer and dryer to a two story house. As Mr. Murphy would have it the appliances were to be brought up to the second floor. What a joy that is!!!

We brought the washer up first and hooked all the hoses. As we were hooking the machine up I kept hearing a voice saying something about facing the machines together. I looked around and started thinking that my medication was wearing off when the owner of the house yelled out that the suggestion was not possible. He did state that his spouse was taking a shower. What a relief it was to me…

On the second trip up the stairs we stopped for a breather. At that point I heard a door open and noticed that my partner’s eyes opened real wide and his jaw dropped. At first I wasn’t sure what was going on, I didn’t hear the eerie violins from Psycho and I was waiting for the sharp pain of a knife in my back. I turned ever so slowly to see a dripping wet female standing in the bathroom door way. I looked away real quick when a young female voice yelled out “MOMMA!!!!” The door slammed real quick!!!

Needless to mention my partner and I hooked the dryer up post haste, handed the husband the delivery ticket to sign, he had been downstairs during the brief episode, then hauled ass out of the house, closed the back door of the truck and drove away from that house as fast as the raggedy International could take us…

My partner and I did not speak of the incident the rest of the trip nor to this day do we ever mention the “The House on Jack Road”

Home Delivery not just a job but a BOOK FULL OF TALES TO TELL!!!

[Doctor Who]

Stay tuned gang, more Gas Hauling fun will arrive straight away....

[Doctor Who]

Hey, Do You Have A Light?????

Hauling petroleum products does have its own set of odd quirks but the rhetoric from the non-hauling public does grow tiresome after a while.
Case in point.....

Unloading gas at a truck plaza can be a challenge within it self as drivers try to get close to the safety cones as possible in an effort to unnerve the gas-hauler. That can be taken in stride but the old joke "Hey, you got a light?" does get a bit old.

One such incident occured on a miserable rainy/cold night when a driver, trying to impress his buddies came up to me and asked that question. I looked at him and he walked away laughing. This happened two more times, same driver.

The last time he walked up to me and asked that question I turned to him and told him to step closer to the unloading valves where I could get a better angle to flick the lighter as I reached into my pocket. The drivers eyes grew real wide, he backed away and started stuttering something about he was kidding and I was insane. He left with his buddies in a BIG hurry.

Needless to say I wasn't bothered anymore while the gas unloaded.

PAGE 50

[Jackrabbit379]

That's good that you are no longer bothered, Doc. 8)
Atleast, you are happy, even though you have gas. :P

[Doctor Who]

Atleast, you are happy, even though you have gas. :P

That maybe true but it has become increasingly difficult to get gas. It would seem the supply has been GAS X'd a bit too much!!!

More HAPPY ROAD TALES TO COME....... Sooner or later

[Drumaniac3000]

Hopefully sooner than later... I just finished reading all 50 pages of your stories and have enjoyed every one of them. About a month ago I got my Class B and have been enjoying every minute of it.


Jason

[Doctor Who]

Another GAS HAULING SNIPPETT!!!!

Quite a handful of years ago I was riding with a trainer early one AM hauling a load of LSD (Low Sulfur Diesel) to a company store in a "rough" neighbourhood... It wasn't so much of a bother since I come from downtown Brooklyn NY and the trainer came from Boston..

The unloading event wasn't too painful however, we kept hearing a couple of fools yelling at us but we couldn't quite figure out what was being said.

With the unloading ceremony completed I took the paperwork in to the store for the clerk to sign and picked up two cups of coffee, I wandered back to the truck and the trainer told me to drive. I didn't question him but did notice he was acting a bit odd.

As I wheeled the T-800 and tank wagon out of the lot and down the road I noticed a car on the side with the hood up and a few folks standing around and one threw a gas can as we passed.

I asked the trainer what that was all about and he told me after I had walked away two guys walked up to him and told him their car had run out of gas and he was going to give them some gas off the trailer, keep in mind we had a load of DIESEL!
The trainer obliged and filled the gas can.

Needless to mention a GAS powered car does not run very well on LOW SULFUR DIESEL!!!

AH yes GAS HAULING not just a job but a great source of entertainment