Amusing factual stories - real life experiences in trucking

[Night Rider]

eh doc, ya already made a book of short stories....

There's no lie in that statement..

I should put in this topic how and where I met Doctor Who it should get a charge out of him!!! :P

Let's see, it was a bright sunny day at the port in Mobile Alabama where I was to pick up a crane and I ran into a panicked driver trying to figure out how to get a crane loaded onto the lowboy he was pulling. Poor guy was about out of patience when I jumped out of my truck to help him.

To be continued

Look at what I did I pushed it to page 45 :shock:

[Night Rider]

I asked the driver what his problem was and he told me that he had never operated a crane before and wasn't sure how to load the "bloody" thing, his word not mine. He also said something about never pulling another special load for his boss again. After a quick introduction I showed Doctor Who how to correctly load a crane on a lowboy and how not to lose it while riding down the interstate.
I asked him where he was taking the evil machine and he told me to New Jersey and it turned out that we were both going to the same place.

We did have a fun ride back to the North East but I did have to unload the crane at the destination. Just on a whim I told the Doctor that the company I drove for was looking for drivers to haul heavy equipment. He just mumbled something and said that he would rather haul sulfuric acid in a rusty old tank trailer before he pulled anymore heavy equipment.

I do believe that he did change his mind later, not too sure though.

[Doctor Who]

I do believe that he did change his mind later, not too sure though.

I'll never tell!!! :P

[Doctor Who]

And now for this:

MAJOR SNOW STORM BLASTS THE NORTHEAST!!!

And I missed it... Oh well, I'll get over it plus, it brought back some frigid memories of times past when the phone rang on a snowy night and having a distraught dispatcher asking if I could come in and take a load out.....

More to come

[kimahri1114]

.....I know how you feel. I love snow. Almost as much as I love trucks! And one time when I went down to south Texas to see some family, it snowed a couple of feet here. When I got back, there was none left. I was so disappointed.

[Night Rider]

And now for this:

MAJOR SNOW STORM BLASTS THE NORTHEAST!!!

And I missed it... Oh well, I'll get over it plus, it brought back some frigid memories of times past when the phone rang on a snowy night and having a distraught dispatcher asking if I could come in and take a load out.....

More to come

You're not talking about the SNOW OF '79 are you?

I also believe the Doctor was being sarcastic about missing the snow!

[Doctor Who]

You're not talking about the SNOW OF '79 are you?

I also believe the Doctor was being sarcastic about missing the snow!

Correct on both counts.

Now if I can find the SNOW WARS Chronicals I'll be good to go!!

[Doctor Who]

While the Snow Wars Chronicles is still lost somewhere in the closet of NO RETURN.. It was brought to my attention that the replies were stuck at 666! Really not a bad number for those who believe in Numerology plus, it was my code number to get into one of the gas terminals. Imagine the shocked expression of the operator when he saw it on his computer screen. He did ask me if I wanted to change it. I told him no it was rather unique...

MY RIDE IS NOW OVER

After 32 years of wandering the country, chasing numerous sunrises and driving off into numerous sunsets my adventure in trucking has come to an end due to health problems that, for some reason, can't be fixed. To think I am 3 months shy of 33 years plus, just short of 4 million miles.

Of course there will be aspects of the career I will miss like, the ever growing cast of characters I've met during the longest running "REALITY" show: "The Road Show"! Some I will remember forever, others I'd like to forget and still others who have touched my life in a positive way.

There are other aspects I will not miss such as: The bad Truck Stop cuisine, shower facilities where, it was wiser to wear clothes while showering and the nightly entertainment of the constant knocking on the door by some of the UGLIEST humans on the planet.
I would be remiss if I didn't include the "Ninja" fights on the 11 meter radio (CB)! What other occupation can one find such entertainment and get paid to enjoy it?

One other thing I should add is that I waded into the Atlantic Ocean, then drove across the country to do the same thing in the Pacific just to say I did it. I do regret not having the chance to drive to Alaska on the Al-Can highway.
I will miss the pleasure of sitting in traffic jams just watching the antics of the 9 to 5'ers as they inch their way along the concrete strip. Other drivers would bitch and complain but I found it a great source of comedy and great fodder for the ever growing journal. If the antics were ever made into a motion picture no-one would believe it.

I will not forget all the snow storms, torrential rain storms, "twisty" clouds and other fun weather phenomena I ran across in the past 32 years.

There is much more I can write but trying to fight back the depression and the tears is getting to be too much for this worn out old TRUCKER!

So for all the professionals, the "soon-to-be's" and the "wanna-be's" enjoy the ride in the most entertaining show in our small part of the universe: THE ROAD SHOW!

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that this topic would have over 90,000 views. Thanks Brian for starting a never ending journey!

[trckndadsangel]

Doc first off I want to thank you for all your years of driving and doing your part in keeping this country going. I read your post and it even brought a tear to my eye. I also wanted to thank you for all of the posts that you have put on this board as so many of them have helped me personally to have a better respect to this industry even though I was pretty much raised in this industry. You have also given some very good pointers here that have helped my husband out. There have been times that my husband has called home when he first started out OTR and here I was sitting at the computer reading some of your funny posts in this forum...at those times my husband sounded so down and wanted to come home and give his dream up...I would be laughing when I answered the phone. With that being said I would read him what I was reading and he would be laughing his butt off. Thanks for that too Doc as your stories have brought laughter to us on the worst of days.

Thanks Doc. Prayers from here for the depression it will pass as I well know. I too was depressed when I found out that I will never have the chance to drive truck due to medical problems but you know I looked for the positive in all of it. I get to be the navigator in a few years when our kids are grown, I get to be the one writing down things in the journal from now until my husband and I retire, I am the one to take the pictures while he is driving and the best part is that I get to sit back and be the Proud Wife to a trucker who is out there fullfilling a dream. You have 32 years of knowledge and some great stories, I personally would be one of the first in line to buy a book when you get one done.

[devilsangel]

Doctor Who, Thank you for the description of life on the road. I am envious. I had the brief opportunity (only 7 months)to travel a bit via 18 wheels. In that short time, I grew to love the road. Thanks again for reviving those memories.

[Crash935]

Doc, sorry to hear that youve been "Red Flagged" from "The Road Show". 33 years and 4 millions miles is something to be proud of.

But the ride is not over, your wisdom and experience is needed here, as many are just starting to write their first episodes from the road, some have multipule episodes or chapters already written. Yet, there isnt anyone else here who can put their worst day into words and still make it sound like it was the best day ever. I think its because of those words that many a newbie has re-thought their thinking that they may have made a mistake and stayed with the "Show" after all.

Enjoy the family and then get to the book would ya, many of us are waiting for the whole season of "The Road Show" as doc seen it.

[yoopr]

damn Doc-You're a slow poke-taking 33 yrs to get in your 4 Mil.
Hey-If and when I run up to the Alcan I'll give you a buzz and you can ride the Jump Seat :P

[Twilight Flyer]

Well Doc, things happen for various reasons and sometimes we don't always know the reasons why. Suffice it to say that when one door closes, others will open. You just have to be looking for it.

In the meantime, I'd lay odds that you can send this thread to 900 pages with stories from the life you've lived on the road. Here's wishing you all the best, my friend.

[Cacille]

Now you have time to really start collecting stories from your closet, not to mention this website, and start writin that book!

[Doctor Who]

damn Doc-You're a slow poke-taking 33 yrs to get in your 4 Mil.

Well, it was all due to the many 3 hour tours of Manhattan Island. Can't rack up much that way!!!

[jetphixer]

Just thought I'd say all the post here have been enlightening as well as entertaining. Doc Who, if ya write that book, put me down on your list as wanting one as well. I hope that I too will soon be able to post some amusing stories here within the future. Doc Who, took me two and half days to read all 45 pages, it great riding, can't wait to read more of the adventures of the chemical brothers....LOL :wink:

[Doctor Who]

can't wait to read more of the adventures of the chemical brothers

Well the older half of the Chemical Brothers paid a visit this past Saturday and possibly sparked a new round of Chemical Brothers adventures with Central Transport....

Just think.. The mind games played on an evil dispatcher...

As always: MORE TO COME!!!

[Doctor Who]

AS PROMISED....

Another CHEMICAL BROTHERS Adventure.
Brought to all by a rather disturbed individual...

The Chemical Brothers were thrown together after I had finished (dis)orientation. The first few weeks were a bit of a nightmare as we were late for every load. After the third week out we decided to go home and regroup. Our assigned dispatcher Scott (Last name withheld due to possible Libel suit) was pretty much fed up with our poor performance. Scott portrayed himself as a pseudo-BAD-ASS but soon discovered, much to his dismay, that the Chemical Brothers were coming back new and improved. It is amazing how a couple of days off can re-direct a persons thinking.

Our first trip after R&R was out to Louisiana unload and reload to New Jersey. The trip out was uneventful. The ride to Carteret, NJ was when the fun began.
After loading in Gulf, Louisiana we stopped in Baton Rouge, then proceeded on. The older half of the Brothers did the morning check-in call, since Qual-Comm was non exist ant and GPS was for Star Trek. When he made the call he told Scott we were in Picayune, Mississippi. The return comment was "Can't you find places I can spell?!?"
That was all we needed to hear. The "Dispatch God" had no idea as to what he had unleashed...

Every subsequent check-in call we would find the most obscure town names on a state map that were close enough to the route we were traveling. Didn't want to get accused of "running out of route"!
Needless to say we did acquire a huge library of state maps..

On one western trip we managed to find a town named Scott and that check-in call was more reminiscent of an Abbott and Costello routine. It sure made for an entertaining breakfast stop in a small town restaurant.
Another fun town was Whatcheer, Iowa, not to forget Conetoe (pronounced Con-ee-tah), NC! Don't ask how it got that name but it was sure a lot of fun with the, very humbled, dispatcher.

After the Brothers were split up we continued to find fun town names. On a trip into Quebec I made a delivery into Saint Johns-Sur-Richelieu. I made the check-in call and Scott hung up on me. Rather rude I thought but laughed all the way back to New York. I made a pick up in NJ and seriously thought about calling in from Cinnaminson, NJ but thought wiser of it as it may have pushed Scott over the edge.

When I left the company I told Scott he would miss me when I was gone. He told me he wouldn't.... He was right!!!

[Doctor Who]

"Blow Wind Blow"

Years back I pulled a load of Latex into Philadelphia to a very non descript paint manufacturer. Two hour unload time I thought and on my way home. WRONG!!!!
I pulled up to the building noticed no outside connections. The easy day idea just went up in flames as the receiving guy came out and told me the load was going into DRUMS. I called the dispatch person and told her that the load was being drummed off and not to look for me the rest of the day. The good thing about it I didn't have to touch anything, the paint people handled the entire procedure. I will add here that it was a very windy day in Philly and the great aromas of cheese-steaks and hot pretzels filled the air...

While the unloading ceremony progressed I kept hearing a voice chanting "Blow wind blow!!"
I took a walk to the end of the tank trailer and found a guy gazing across the street at a gaggle of women standing near a coffee wagon. Yes, all of them were wearing skirts. The guy told me that it was a ritual every windy day to say the chant and every once in a while the chant would be answered.

I looked at the guy, shook my head and started to wander back to the tractor when I heard him shout "OH ****!"
I trotted back to the scene and sure enough the chant had been answered and the poor guy got more than he bargained for.
The shocked look on his face told the whole story. I just asked him if he had never seen a full MOON in the daytime before?
I didn't get an answer!

Some times I do miss the dreaded LATEX loads!!!

[MACK]

Hey Doc Conetoe isn't but at the most a hour from where I live.