Amusing factual stories - real life experiences in trucking

[magician_73]

Well Doc, we did it.....20,000 :moose::moose::moose::moose:and it isn't even the end of the year! :shock: :shock: :shock: And it's now on page 29 :moose::moose::moose::moose: :P :P :arrow:
Let Loose the 'patio elk' my friend....who knows where this will end :?:And it's good to see others responding and posting here now.. :shock: .

[Doctor Who]

arty: :rock:

As U-2 plays on! Yeah it surprised me when I logged on to see the thread on the up side of 20,000!!!!

Let's see, where will it be on December 31???

You're correct my friend, it is good to see others getting over their "mic" fright, so to speak, and posting their own humourous tales!!!

Now for this.....

Hey Doc,your story reminded me of the movie Terminator 2.....if any of you have seen it...remember when the "bad" terminator was driving the tanker full of liquid nitrogen? And then he wiped out,and got covered in the nitrogen,and was frozen? Then Arnie shot him,and he shattered into a million pieces.I was wondering if that is what would really happen,I guess you answered that doc!

Well never having seen either of the "Terminator" flicks I'll take your word for it... I learned about the interesting properties of liquid ox and nitrogen at the Smithsonian while on a class trip way back in junior high.
A demonstration of space flight and exploring the outer reaches of the solar system was on the menu for that day and the lady giving the demonstration showed what would happen to everyday common items when exposed to the extreme cold of both oxygen and nitrogen. She was trying simulate the atmosphere on Neptune and Uranus. Convinced me!!!

doc wrote

I learned about the interesting properties of liquid ox and nitrogen at the Smithsonian while on a class trip way back in junior high.

:shock: WOW....I didn't know the Smithsonian was that old !!!! :P

[Doctor Who]

:shock: WOW....I didn't know the Smithsonian was that old !!!! :P

I wouldn't know but there's a fine statue of a chubby penguin in the main hall.....

And yet another thread being steered dreadfully off course

[2bad4u]

DoctorWho, I would have to agree with you regarding another thread being steered off course. That's the biggest fault I see with CAD, too many individuals, and it's usually the same ones, like to post items not related to the thread itself. Correct this and CAD would be the absolute best trucker site. I also have a question as to why certain posts don't show the author, but merely numbers? Hopefully this thread will now return to amusing tales.

2bad4u........I'm sorry if I offended you. Everybody has been working at getting the post's and pages to this thread up to a certain # by the end of the year. Some with a little razz, some with a funny story, and some making a point. Truth in fact, I could say that your post was way off course for this thread, but I'm not that type of person.

Doc, on with the stories !!!!! and leave the chubby penguin out of it

[Doctor Who]

DoctorWho, I would have to agree with you regarding another thread being steered off course. That's the biggest fault I see with CAD, too many individuals, and it's usually the same ones, like to post items not related to the thread itself. Correct this and CAD would be the absolute best trucker site. I also have a question as to why certain posts don't show the author, but merely numbers? Hopefully this thread will now return to amusing tales.

As with any of the truckers sites with the exception of one, it is a given that any thread at any given time will be hijacked. It would be rather difficult to prevent this from not happening and all it would accomplish is upsetting the membership as a whole and the board will cease to be the fun place it has been for the past 3 or so years...
I will agree that some threads start out on a somewhat serious note but by page two of the threads, if it gets that far, someone steers it off course and most times the entire subject gets derailed...

To answer your other question a few times in the past the board had a few glitches and the posters information was lost, other times it was a misunderstanding that got out of control and the persons involved where, sad to say, eliminated from the data base!!!

There's this:

Everybody has been working at getting the post's and pages to this thread up to a certain # by the end of the year.

Actually this is not the purpose of the thread to get the view count up and how many pages by a certain date... This thread was started for the entertainment of all the members of CAD with quite a few of my own stories from the numerous journals I've kept over the years, it does seem like this is my own personal playground, trust me it's not. It is good to see others posting stories and I, for one, would like to see more do so!


With this out of the way it would be time for an amusing tale or three.....

Stay tuned boys and girls!!!

Whoops, my bad ........see what happens when you read, but don't comprehend !!!!

Sorry for the offense.

[ksgreenmch]

hey snow 1 don't worry about it, I still love ya no matter what happens here.

well it was in the winter of 1988 and i was working out of chicago other wise known as the windy city. well it was the windy city that got me all sorts of up tight one day because of the traffic that happend to be all balled up one day that i was running city shag for the company that day.
well it turned out that i was my time to go get a particuler load out of the city that day and it just happened that i ate a whole lot of beans that day with my dinner that day. well you can guess from this point on i had trouble most of the day.
well that night i was on the dock loading the truck for my weekly rout going to oklahoma city and further south. same ol boss man that i had on the truck with me when i was driving for him in 1981 was working along side me that night helping me load out the product when all of a sudden guess what happened? your right,but the hell of it is he got a direct shot of the windy city right in his face because he was bending down putting freight on the floor. it was not a skunk this time. it was the real macoy this time.
talk about a boss man being almost sick he was. hell ol boss man and i are always doing something to make each other mad one way or another so i just figured that i was pay back time for putting me in a bad situation years ago that almost got me killed. so i figured how is the best way to pay a boss back with out getting your self fired.
well it came to me that io would eat a bunch of pinto beans knowing how they affect me after a time of being in my system and working for the day. thing is I could not of timed it any better than i did when he bent over to lay a box of beef of some kind on the floor. I was worse than the skunk was that I hit back in the fall of 1981 when i started with him.
well ill catch ya all later. charlie
take care charlie :sad: :shock: :? 8) :x :P :evil: :wink: :?: :idea: :arrow: :withstupid: :moose: arty:

Thanks Ksgreenmch........ROFLMBO

I guess you could say "You were letting off a little Steam"

[Twilight Flyer]

A demonstration of space flight and exploring the outer reaches of the solar system was on the menu for that day and the lady giving the demonstration showed what would happen to everyday common items when exposed to the extreme cold of both oxygen and nitrogen. She was trying simulate the atmosphere on Neptune and Uranus. Convinced me!!!

I remember way back in my school days, our biology instructor dipped a rose in liquid nitrogen and proceeded to shatter it like glass on the counter to show how dangerous it could be when we worked with it. We were given the whole lecture of safety and even shown pictures of of a scientist who had unkowingly frozen his finger and bumped it against a counter, shattering it. Said he never felt a thing and it was pretty ugly looking. Remember Wesley Snipes head in the movie Demolition Man, when he got nitro'd there at the end? Looked about the same.

[Doctor Who]

A day or so ago I was standing with a few other drivers waiting to unload our respective loads of asphalt. As we discussed the events of the day one of the drivers started yelling something about what he had just seen in a car that had passed us...
I asked him if he had never seen a woman before, he responded that the woman flashed him. The other drivers and I really didn't believe him but Charlie insisted... I did manage to get a good look at the car...

Well, ten minutes later the same vehicle came back following the "pilot car" and sure enough the driver, a LFG, flashed us again and me being the person I am shouted "Is that all you have????"
The LFG showed me what postion I was on her popularity list, right there at the top!!!
Charlie thought I was being "unkind" and I responded by saying maybe I should sue her for False Advertisement. He asked me why and I pointed to the personalized tag, which had "BUSTY" written on it. Definite false advertising or she borrowed the car from a friend!!!

I wandered back to my truck singing a few lines from the Kinks great hit "Lola"

"....I can't understand why she walked like a woman but talked like a man..."
"....Girls will be boys, boys will be girls it's a mixed up world, shook up world except for Lola..."

Oh wow tomorrow Dec 2 will be my 2 year anniversary with CAD!!!

[BigEasy]

Oh wow tomorrow Dec 2 will be my 2 year anniversary with CAD!!!

Congrats doc today you are 2 years old

on to other things.......... :arrow:

well as most of you know I am on y way to SN for training but I had a little set back because of the drug test. I dont know why but it took 8 days for them to find out I am clean. So now I should start training Dec.6 but I have to go to the motel or hotel on the 5th. this is already starting out on the roung foot on there part. I spent a week faxing and mailing papers to these pepole so I could get in on the Nov 29 class for nothing but it has worked out some what my heat went out in the bad way an eletric motor on it quit working and I live with my grandmother of 80+ and if I had got in the class I won'ted she would have got realy cold befor she told anybody the heat was out. Sence I was home I knowed, and still having troble with it but its warm in the whole house now after an $66 motor that took a day longer to get here than it was going to. Enough about that it has nothing to do with trucking but I am not on the road yet so its the best I can do for now.

By the way the thread was over 20300 when I came in to see whats goin on.

[magician_73]

Well Doc, wild animals, emus', patio elk....how about this little adventure with the smelly species.
Years ago, was delivering in the boonies of California...and enroute to the residence, came across a young lad standing by a irrigation culvert. He flagged me down and so I turned in on the gravel road...stopped and walked back to see what was wrong. The youngster...probably 14 or so...informed me that a skunk was trapped in the irrigation culvert....trying to save her little ones....I walked over and surveyed the situation...so enough...there were two littles ones cuddled on top of the culvert, but momma was stuck in a crack/hole....half in and half out....apparently she had nested in culvert, or was navigating it with her youngsters when the valve got turned on...and the water came rushing down....remembering my childhood days...granddad's teachings....I straddled the culvert, reached down and grabbed mother by the cuff of the neck. Granddad always told me...if you ever grabbed a skunk, make certain you grabbed the tail and as long as you held on to the skunk's tail, he/she couldn't spray you.
I gradually worked the mother skunk out of the hole/crack...and immediately grabbed the tail. I retreated back to the safety of the gravel road, carry mother by her neck and holding dearly onto the tail....
The youngster said, 'now - just give her a toss and she'll be alright'.....Well I did just that....but I forgot one little item of importance....'always let go of the tail last'.....when I gave her a little toss, I released everything at one time...and dear little momma skunk let loose and I caught a little of the spray...just enough to smell 'bad'....'really bad'....
The youngster said he'd be right back...and departed on the run....I thought I was going to be stuck, smelling like a skunk, having to get back into the truck and drive on to residence....but within minutes, a pickup arrived...dad and youngster (turned out this was my shipper - I had picked his goods up out of storage)......He had a bucket filled with vinegar mixed with tomatoe juice....I stripped down to shorts....scrubbed myself down with the 'mixture'....got sprayed with some 'deodorant' spray the dad also brought..threw the 'smelly ones' into the back of the pickup.....climbed back into the truck...put on clean clothes.....and followed him to residence. Upon arrival....I told my help to start unloading the cartons.....while the shipper brought out the garden hose...handed me a bar of soap....and hosed me down while I lathered up...once again scrubbing myself with his 'mixture'....plus soap....I repeated the process a couple of times and got rid of most of the smell....after we finished unloading, we all had a good laugh over the whole situation and even though I still had a faint smell, it was tolerable. Moral/lesson of the story....don't mess with stuck 'skunks'.....regardless :!:

By the way Doc, I agree totally, it's refreshing to see other drivers now posting here.

[magician_73]

Congrats doc today you are 2 years old

Now that's 'Amusing' - Doc, you didn't tell us it was your birthday:!:

[Doctor Who]

It is a fact that there is at least one twin for everyone on the planet.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY CAN BE DANGEROUS
This came up after someone said I looked like someone he knew and I asked if the guy owed him money or was somebody gunning for him....

Quite a few years ago I was making a delivery in Mobile, Alabama or; should I say attempted to make the delivery. The directions I had were absolutely useless as was the phone number. I stopped at a convenience store and asked the clerk where the place was at, she gave the best directions I could have ever asked for. As I headed back to the truck I heard someone shouting a bunch of obscenities, I ignored it figuring it was common practice in that store.

Finally arriving at the consignee I backed into the unloading area, hooked up the hoses and started unloading. About 15 minutes had gone by when one of the employees came running around the building yelling that I better hide, I wanted to ask him why when a piece of **** Cadillac came screaming up and a maniac jumped out waving a .50 caliber Desert Eagle in my face yelling that I was ?doing? his wife. The only thing I could say was ?What the f??!?!?
The guy continued yelling and pointing the gun as the police arrived, it didn?t make me feel any better while I stood there shaking, sweating and concerned about the HUGE hole that was going to put upon my person?
I finally managed to get enough courage to attempt to convince this guy he was mistaken. I proceeded to describe his wife as follows ?Is she 6? 2? tall, long blond hair and weighs 400 pounds????
The look of pure evil and hate left his face to be replaced by a complete look of shock, like this :shock: . At first I thought I had actually described his wife and really started to shake!
He lowered his gun and said ?Damn, that?s a big woman!?

The police took him in to custody and asked if I wanted to file charges, I told them no but wanted to ask the guy what his problem was. The guy told me I looked a lot like the person who, supposedly, was fooling around with his wife, he then showed me a photo of his wife, I almost vomited!!!

The guy was taken away in cuffs but I still had to answer a few more questions from another officer. After the Q&A the officer said my ?twin? must be drunk, blind or both!
I shrugged my shoulders as a cold shiver ran up my spine; I told the officer that at least someone had the courage to make the woman happy. The officer responded by saying that it was so ugly the tide wouldn?t take it out? I did say something about ?inbreeding? and walked away?

WOOO-HOOO

PAGE 30 Texans 3

[Doctor Who]

Of course this couldn't be ignored.....

Now that's 'Amusing' - Doc, you didn't tell us it was your birthday:!:

Well, I didn't want you to make a real big fuss over it and besides it would have taken away from the insanity, oopss, I mean sanctity of the board!!

Holy **** Robin someone stole Snow chicks photo... How rude!!! I'm gonna miss the chubby penguin in the sexy swim wear!!! :sad: :sad:

[trckndadsangel]

Doc its funny you put that in about mistaken identy. A little over a year ago we had a load that took us into Canada. First trip out with husband going into Canada. I had not been to Canada in over 25 years so of course they sent us to immigration. We were going through the Blaine crossing. I show my id, birth certificate, and social security card. The lady tells us to take a seat and a few minutes later she comes back and asks for me. My husband gets up to walk up with me and she demands him to sit down. I walk up there she asked me where I was born, how old I was, what my maiden name is and a few other questions. She tells me to take a seat and about 10 minutes later she calls me up to the counter again. By this time I am mad. I ask the lady if there is a problem she says yes and shows me a picture of a missing 15 year old girl. This girl looked just like me I about fell over. The girl had come up missing a few weeks prior and they were making sure that I was not her. I told the lady if I was 15 then there would be no way I could have two teenage kids at the age of 32. After finding out why she was questioning me so much I was no longer mad as I seen it as what if I was that 15 year old girl the lady at the immigration office was just doing her job and a good job at that.

Doc Wrote

Holy $&!+ Robin someone stole Snow chicks photo... How rude!!! I'm gonna miss the chubby penguin in the sexy swim wear!!!

She was returned unharmed yesterday afternoon.......Her captor has asked that his name not be revealed or she will be taken again !!!!

Thanks for the concern Doc :P

[farmaller]

Doctor Who,
I spent several hours reading all your posts and I felt like I was with you while reading your stories, you have a way with words that is hard to find and makes it hard to stop reading.
I don't know if there is any connection but I remember reading a fictional story in several issues of Truckers News years ago that was written very similar to your style, every story leaves you wanting more.
Anyway's I wanted to say if you ever do get all this in book form I want a copy, signed of course!!