[DaveP]

During a child custody battle the judge asked the mother why she believed she should get full custody of the couples daughter...

"Your honor, I carried this child for nine long months and then went thru a very long and difficult, not to mention painful childbirth.

And in the last 3 years I have been a stay-at-home mom and have been there for our daughter on a constant basis and took care of all her needs while my husband was away most of the time earning a living for our family...I'm what she needs the most."

"Very well" said the judge.

"And you sir. What do you have to say?"

The husband thought long and hard and said..."Judge!"

"If you put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi pops out....who's is it?

"Yours or the machines?"